2009's Top 5 and Bottom 5 Movies
Copyright 2010 Bob Richards
2009 is almost history and we've seen some movie highs and some movie lows. Here is my roundup of the year's best, and the year's worst.
First, the worst. The cinematic equivalent of fingernails on a chalk board, or a Pink Panther 2, but wait…as bad as that was, it's still not the worst of 2009.
Here then are the five worst movies of the year…
Number five is…
(Transylmania - Full Circle - Rated R)
Transylmania. Hideous in more ways than I could count, this is a stupid mishmash that is dead on arrival. Pound a stake though its heart, cut off its head and bury it forever.
Number four is…
(Obsessed - Sony - Rated PG-13)
Obsessed…one of the year's funniest comedies! And that's a problem because it's all unintentional. Beyonce proves once again that she can't act. This side-splitting exercise in stupidity concludes with the Beyonce Beatdown - a glorious, hilarious catfight!
Number three is
(Saw VI - Lionsgate - Rated R)
Saw VI. With this sequel, the people who are tested-slash-killed are evil predatory loan officers and a slimy health insurance administrator. Apparently, Jigsaw is also working for the current administration.
Number two is…
(Year One - Sony - Rated PG-13)
Year One. Jack Black mugs for the camera, eats feces and Michael Cera does his bumbling shyboy bit and urinates on himself. Here is yet another supposed comedy that does nothing but take away two hours and a piece of your soul.
And the worst film of 2009 is…
1. (Old Dogs - Disney - Rated PG)
Old Dogs. At last, here's a movie with a title that tells you what it is. Unfunny and just plain painful, this is as unpleasant as an old, decrepit dog. With worms. And gout... And explosive diarrhea.
And now here are the best of the best for 2009.
First, some honorable mentions…if I did a top ten they would be in it.
(The Cove - Lionsgate - Rated PG-13)
The Cove is disturbing… even life changing. It is easily the best documentary of the year.
(The Princess and the Frog - Disney - Rated G)
I was completely enraptured by The Princess and the Frog Disney's return to the style of movie that made them a film dynasty.
(A Single Man - The Weinstein Company - Rated R)
In A Single Man, Colin Firth gives the performance of a lifetime in a film brilliantly directed by Tom Ford.
(Up in the Air - Paramount - Rated R)
George Clooney is the best he's ever been in Up in the Air. A great story and a great film.
(The Hangover - Warner Brothers - Rated R)
The Hangover is the funniest movie of the year! I laughed so much, afterwards my head hurt!
(Inglorious Bastards - Weinstein Company - Rated R)
Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds is a gloriously over the top rewrite of history. Brad Pitt is terrific and very funny, but it is Christoph Waltz who steals the show as the "Jew Hunter."
And now the top 5 films of 2009.
Number five is…
(The Blind Side - Warner Brothers - Rated PG-13)
The Blind Side. The amazing true story of pro football player Michael Oher. Sandra Bullock might even see an Oscar nomination. This is a terrific story and a terrific movie.
Number four is…
(Star Trek - Paramount - Rated PG-13)
Star Trek. An exciting, wildly successful reboot with a fantastic cast, great visuals, a terrific sense of humor, and is absolutely spectacular.
Number three is…
(The Hurt Locker - Summit Entertainment - Rated R)
The Hurt Locker, an amazingly intense and stunning look at the soldiers that disarm bombs in Iraq. Star Jeremy Renner is astounding - I wouldn't be surprised if he received an Oscar nomination for this role.
Number two is…
(Up - Disney/Pixar - Rated PG)
Up - it's completely original, funny, adventurous, very touching, brilliant and absolutely exceptional in every way. It is glorious and flawless!
And my pick for the best movie of 2009 is…
(Avatar - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13)
Avatar. There aren't enough words to tell you how much I Loved this movie! James Cameron has crafted a film that is completely original, stunning, thrilling and completely and utterly spectacular! It is the best movie of 2009.
So there you have it…the worst and best…happy new year! Here's to a great 2010 at the movies…
First, the worst. The cinematic equivalent of fingernails on a chalk board, or a Pink Panther 2, but wait…as bad as that was, it's still not the worst of 2009.
Here then are the five worst movies of the year…
Number five is…
(Transylmania - Full Circle - Rated R)
Transylmania. Hideous in more ways than I could count, this is a stupid mishmash that is dead on arrival. Pound a stake though its heart, cut off its head and bury it forever.
Number four is…
(Obsessed - Sony - Rated PG-13)
Obsessed…one of the year's funniest comedies! And that's a problem because it's all unintentional. Beyonce proves once again that she can't act. This side-splitting exercise in stupidity concludes with the Beyonce Beatdown - a glorious, hilarious catfight!
Number three is
(Saw VI - Lionsgate - Rated R)
Saw VI. With this sequel, the people who are tested-slash-killed are evil predatory loan officers and a slimy health insurance administrator. Apparently, Jigsaw is also working for the current administration.
Number two is…
(Year One - Sony - Rated PG-13)
Year One. Jack Black mugs for the camera, eats feces and Michael Cera does his bumbling shyboy bit and urinates on himself. Here is yet another supposed comedy that does nothing but take away two hours and a piece of your soul.
And the worst film of 2009 is…
1. (Old Dogs - Disney - Rated PG)
Old Dogs. At last, here's a movie with a title that tells you what it is. Unfunny and just plain painful, this is as unpleasant as an old, decrepit dog. With worms. And gout... And explosive diarrhea.
And now here are the best of the best for 2009.
First, some honorable mentions…if I did a top ten they would be in it.
(The Cove - Lionsgate - Rated PG-13)
The Cove is disturbing… even life changing. It is easily the best documentary of the year.
(The Princess and the Frog - Disney - Rated G)
I was completely enraptured by The Princess and the Frog Disney's return to the style of movie that made them a film dynasty.
(A Single Man - The Weinstein Company - Rated R)
In A Single Man, Colin Firth gives the performance of a lifetime in a film brilliantly directed by Tom Ford.
(Up in the Air - Paramount - Rated R)
George Clooney is the best he's ever been in Up in the Air. A great story and a great film.
(The Hangover - Warner Brothers - Rated R)
The Hangover is the funniest movie of the year! I laughed so much, afterwards my head hurt!
(Inglorious Bastards - Weinstein Company - Rated R)
Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds is a gloriously over the top rewrite of history. Brad Pitt is terrific and very funny, but it is Christoph Waltz who steals the show as the "Jew Hunter."
And now the top 5 films of 2009.
Number five is…
(The Blind Side - Warner Brothers - Rated PG-13)
The Blind Side. The amazing true story of pro football player Michael Oher. Sandra Bullock might even see an Oscar nomination. This is a terrific story and a terrific movie.
Number four is…
(Star Trek - Paramount - Rated PG-13)
Star Trek. An exciting, wildly successful reboot with a fantastic cast, great visuals, a terrific sense of humor, and is absolutely spectacular.
Number three is…
(The Hurt Locker - Summit Entertainment - Rated R)
The Hurt Locker, an amazingly intense and stunning look at the soldiers that disarm bombs in Iraq. Star Jeremy Renner is astounding - I wouldn't be surprised if he received an Oscar nomination for this role.
Number two is…
(Up - Disney/Pixar - Rated PG)
Up - it's completely original, funny, adventurous, very touching, brilliant and absolutely exceptional in every way. It is glorious and flawless!
And my pick for the best movie of 2009 is…
(Avatar - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13)
Avatar. There aren't enough words to tell you how much I Loved this movie! James Cameron has crafted a film that is completely original, stunning, thrilling and completely and utterly spectacular! It is the best movie of 2009.
So there you have it…the worst and best…happy new year! Here's to a great 2010 at the movies…
