|   Home  |

Archived Movie Reviews    |

E-mail Bob  |

Recent Reviews

Bob's Blog  |

(The Hills Have Eyes - Fox Searchlight - Rated R)
The Hills Have Eyes is brutal and highly disturbing.  But that's what it wants to be.  It is shocking, startling, gory and produces the feeling of dread required by a movie like this in gallons and gallons.  It's a creep-fest that horror fans will love.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5

(Failure to Launch - Paramount - Rated PG-13)
Failure To Launch is better than I thought it would be.  The movie is only somewhat amusing, but Zooey Deschanel steals every scene she's in with her hilarious performance as Sarah Jessica Parker's roommate.  Unfortunately, she's not in the movie enough.  Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey have no chemistry whatsoever.  Their performances leave much to be desired.  The plot has loads of gaps in logic, and gives us a silly end.  And speaking of ends, I could have done without seeing Terry Bradshaw's naked hind end.  That has forever scarred me.  2 ½ Stars Out of 5

(The Shaggy Dog - Disney - Rated PG)
Disney's remake of The Shaggy Dog is bland but serviceable.  It pales in comparison to the original.  Not that it doesn't have its funny moments, it does.  But, it ends up being kind of corny.  This doesn't have enough to keep the interest of the real little ones, but kids from around 4 or 5 through 12 should love it.  I'd say save some money and buy the original on DVD.  2 ½ Stars Out of 5

(The Libertine - The Weinstein Company - Rated R)
Johnny Depp's character in The Libertine says at the beginning that you won't like him.  He's right.  Depp's portrayal is interesting to a point, but the film is so boring you never really notice much.  This film is really nothing but horribly written, constant sexual dialogue.  Nothing really happens, except they talk about it.  Add a muddled plot, along with shoddy editing and direction, and even the great Johnny Depp can't rescue this tawdry mess. 
2 Stars Out of 5
(Transamerica - The Weinstein Company - Rated R)Felicity Huffman is an amazing actress.  She makes Transamerica, a film with an assuredly fringe subject extraordinarily watchable, and turns in one of the finest performances of the year.  Although I really didn't expect to like it, the film itself is funny, touching, and actually very good.  4 Stars Out of 5

(16 Blocks - Warner Bros - Rated PG-13)
Bruce Willis and Mos Def are both pretty good in 16 Blocks.  Willis really looks the part of a washed up, out of shape, alcoholic cop.  He gives an unusual and interesting performance.  This is an involving and enjoyable action film that has a somewhat predictable end. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5

(Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada -Sony Pictures Classics - Rated R)
Tommy Lee Jones directed and stars in Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, a movie that some may object to as it shows illegal aliens from Mexico in a very positive light.  Jones does a magnificent job at both direction and acting.  Barry Pepper is also very good as the villain and victim of Tommy Lee's rage.  This film is unpredictable and a lot of fun.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5

(Aquamarine - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG)
Aquamarine is a sweet and fun film aimed at the tween and younger teen girl audience.  Friendship is the main theme here, with a healthy dose of comedy thrown in.  It borders at times on being too sweet, but for the most part, Aquamarine is delightful.  3 Stars Out of 5

(Dave Chappelle's Block Party - - Rated R)
With a name like Dave Chappelle's Block Party, I thought Dave Chappelle would actually be performing in it.  He is really only a cameo.  It shows, in documentary fashion, how Dave put this rap concert together.  The movie lasts an hour and 43 minutes.  He performs in it a total of about 5 minutes.  And that 5 minutes isn't all that funny.  I expected more Dave.  But I got lots of rap music. Yes, it was nice to see the Fugees back together and some of the performances were pretty good, most notably from Erika Badu and Jill Scott.  But there was too much militant rap stuff from my taste and certainly not enough comedy.  2 Stars Out of 5

(Ultraviolet - Screen Gems - Rated PG-13)
Ultraviolet is a film packed with ultra-cheesy special effects, ultra-atrocious dialogue, worse acting and it's all done with an ultra-straight face!  The bad guy has this thing in his nostrils that I guess is supposed to be some kind of filter but I laughed every time I saw it.  Even the music is horrific!  It sounds like it belongs in a 70's porn film.  Ultraviolet is an unintentional ultra-laugh riot!  1 Star Out of 5

Recent Reviews

(The Way - Producers Distribution Agency - Rated PG-13)
Martin Sheen is superb in The Way, a film directed, produced and written by Sheen's son, Emilio Estevez.  Sheen's character is a man who walks Spain's Camino de Santiago in honor of his son.  It is a spiritual journey without being religious or preachy.  It is a remarkable film that is uplifting, heartfelt, stirring and potentially life changing.  I felt exuberant, moved, and inspired after taking a walk with The Way.  4 ½ Stars Out of 5

(Like Crazy- Paramount Vantage - Rated PG-13)
The first several minutes of Like Crazy does a good job of showing the first blush of love.  But that blush wears off all too quickly, and we are left with a film that becomes less than satisfying as it progresses.  Anton Yelchin is mostly irritating.  Felicity Jones less so, but she also has her moments.  However, she's the best part of this film.  Jennifer Lawrence appears in a thankless role.  Like Crazy has characters you want to like, but their actions are a tiny bit on the repulsive side.  Include a series of illogical plot jumps and it adds up to far from the most compelling film I've seen…Like is the key word here…I kind of liked it but I wasn't crazy about it.  3 Stars Out of 5

(The Muppets - Disney - Rated PG)
The Muppets starts out kind of sad, depressing really…The Muppets are down and out, no one cares about them anymore, and their studio and theater is unused and in disrepair.  It takes a long time to get over the funk, but it does rejuvenate by the end.  Amy Adams is terrific as always,
Jason Segal does his valiant best at singing and dancing, but should stick to what he does best…although I give him credit for trying, and for writing the film.  Jack Black plays himself and is actually funny…in a kind of laugh at him instead of with him way.  The "We're putting the band back together" plot seems tired, but the Muppets aren't.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5

(Arthur Christmas - Sony - Rated PG)
Arthur Christmas surprised me.  I thought I was in for another sarcastic, irreverent attempt to turn Christmas on its ear under the guise of appealing to today's short attention span video game generation.  What I got was anything but.  This clever, imaginative film explains how Santa does what he does, and is wonderfully delightful!  It got me in the Christmas spirit! 
4 Stars Out of 5

(Hugo - Paramount - Rated PG)
Hugo is a family film only in the strict sense of the word.  Meaning it will be good for parents and their older kids.  It's not for young kids, but adults will be romanced by the sheer joy the film exudes. Chloe Grace Moretz is sparkling, Sasha Baron Cohen is funny, and Ben Kingsley turns in his best performance in years.  The one thing that troubled me - Everyone speaks in British accents although the film takes place in Paris.  Don't read the reviews, it's best if you don't know anything about it going in…enjoy discovering the mystery and know you'll be in for a magical celebration of life and film!  Hugo is wonderful!  4 ½ Stars Out of 5

(The Descendants- Fox Searchlight - Rated R)
The Descendants is one of the year's very best movies!  It is an unexpected, moving, funny and brashly sweet film.  George Clooney may well end up with an Oscar nomination for this picture, and if I had a vote, he would win!  Alexander Payne's writing and direction are flawless.  Do yourself a favor and see this film!  5 Stars Out of 5

(My Week With Marilyn - The Weinstein Company - Rated R)
My Week With Marilyn is a great film.  From a historical standpoint, it is interesting and involving.  But it is more than an historical film.  It is filled with wonderful performances.  Kenneth Branagh and Eddie Redmayne are standouts, bit I was completely enraptured with the performance of Michelle Williams who embodied the spirit of Marilyn Monroe so perfectly, I forgot it wasn't her.  I can't recommend it highly enough!  It is brilliant film making at its finest!  5 Stars Out of 5

(Take Shelter - Sony - Rated R)
In Take Shelter, Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain explore psychosis and insanity in a powerful, riveting film that hooks you from the beginning while it builds a feeling of dread.  Smartly crafted, look for this film and Shannon to be included in the discussion come awards time. 
4 ½ Stars Out of 5

(Happy Feet Two - Warner Brothers - Rated PG)
There are many things to like about Happy Feet Two…It is happy. 
It contains flawless animation and music to get your toes tapping and feet stompin'.  Matt Damon and Brad Pitt provide some fun comic relief as Bill and Will the Krill…this time there is no environmental preachiness, although global warming is alluded to…It's enjoyable, I liked it better than the first one.  There is a lot to be happy with…My feet and my brain were happy…4 Stars Out of 5

(The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - Summit Entertainment - Rated PG-13)
Well here's what you really want to know about The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1:  It takes 10 seconds for Taylor Lautner to take off his shirt.  Well now that we've got that out of the way, Kristin Stewart as Bella smiles so much, she's just about unrecognizable.  She's a beautiful bride, and Edward is, well…pasty.  At least he doesn't sparkle this time.  After their wedding, they make sweet, sweet sparkly vampire love, and the wolves howl with those less than cartoony computer not-so-special effects.  This is more chick-flicky than any of the others, and that's really saying something.  So guys, this is one movie during which I give you permission to play Angry Birds on your smart phone.  I didn't, although I was tempted.  I was more concerned with that triple burrito making its way through my intestines…I wanted to call it Breaking Wind Fart 1…Fart 2 is coming soon…and I can't wait.  For some, gas pains feel like a heart attack…But then you let go…it feels so good to get it out of your system.  Then it will be over…at long last.  2 Stars Out of 5


(Martha Marcy May Marlene - Fox Searchlight - Rated R)
In Martha Marcy May Marlene, Elizabeth Olsen turns in a performance that will make you forget you are watching an Olsen Twins sibling.  She proves that there is some actual acting talent in the family with a mesmerizing, brilliant performance.  John Hawkes is disturbing as the leader of a Manson family-like cult.  This psychological drama gives you the creeps in a slow-burn type of way.  And it will provide food for thought for a long time after. 
4 ½ Stars Out of 5

(J. Edgar - Warner Brothers - Rated R)
In Clint Eastwood's J. Edgar, Leonardo DiCaprio struggles with his attempt to impersonate J.Edgar Hoover's voice and accent.  So much that it is a distraction.  He never makes you forget he's Leonardo DiCaprio trying to do a funny accent.  That's just the most obvious flaw in this semi-good movie. 
There are some too-obvious makeup problems as the two main characters age, and there is too much talk.  It sticks close to established history, while just dipping a toe into the salacious details…more of which would make this much more interesting.  It drags terribly in spots.  While it aspires to greatness, as it is, it ranks as one of Eastwood's lesser films.  3 Stars Out of 5

(Immortals - Relatvity Media - Rated R)
If your idea of a good movie is eye candy, Immortals is for you.  But if you are one of those crazy types who actually want things like a story, you need to move to the next theater, because the one showing Immortals doesn't have it.  This silly, bombastic, loud, ponderous mess is chock full of fake CGI blood, beheadings, and swords gashing at whatever they gash.  It's hard to tell what is going on.  The meandering, unfocused script seems to lose its way so often that when the writers were at a loss for what to do next they just added another battle.  Star Henry Cavill doesn't have a command of the screen, it takes Stephen Dorff and Mickey Rourke to bring a little life to this artificial, CGI world.  Frieda Pinto just adds more eye candy.  Immortals has so much, the concession stand gets jealous.  2 Stars Out of 5

(Jack and Jill - Sony - Rated PG)
I didn't laugh once in Jack and Jill.  Some people in the theater did laugh.  I was just embarrassed for them…Adam Sandler's Jill is obnoxious, whiny, grating and totally unlikeable.  I never believed he was a woman for a second.  There are a huge amount of cameos that go nowhere. It gives the feeling that Sandler is letting all of his friends be in a movie.  Katie Holmes plays Sandler's wife.  She doesn't really do anything other than make you wonder how a guy like him got a girl who looks like that.  And Al Pacino…what was he thinking?  He must owe a real godfather something, because he plays himself.  He dances and raps his way through a Dunkin Donuts Dunkacino commercial…Pacino, dunkacino….it made me cringe.  This movie has way too much product placement - it turns this into one big mega-commercial.  There's more emphasis on products than there are jokes.  One running gag involves a boy who tapes random things to his body.  No real explanation…no real jokes.  And in true Sandler form, when he runs out of ideas he resorts to farts.  That's what this is.  A big fart.  1 ½ Stars Out of 5


(Senna - Producers Distribution Agency - Rated PG-13)
Fascinating, exhilarating, harrowing and ultimately moving, Senna is an excellent documentary on the life of Formula One Race car driver Ayrton Senna.  I am not a racing fan, but this superb film had me mesmerized every minute.  Afterwards, it stuck with me.  It is the best documentary of the year.  I don't care if you like racing or not, this is a film that you need to see.  5 stars Out of 5

(Anonymous - Sony - Rated PG-13)
Anonymous supposes that William Shakespeare was an illiterate, buffoonish fraud, and that English nobleman Edward DeVere, the Earl of Oxford was actually the author of his works.  While the film seems to be largely a work of fiction, there are those who consider it fact.  Toss in some massive, scandalous rewriting of history involving Queen Elizabeth the first, and very good performances from Rhys Efans, Vanessa Redgrave and her daughter Joely Richardson, and you have an entertaining, if not entirely believable film…To be…or not to be?  Who knows?  But I liked the film. 
4 Stars Out of 5

(A Very Harold and Kumar 3-D Christmas - Warner Brothers - Rated R)
I have not been a fan of the Harold and Kumar stoner comedies.  Maybe I was just in the mood for a stupid, gross out comedy, but the third film in the series, A Very Harold and Kumar 3-D Christmas made me laugh.  And no, I wasn't high.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5

(Tower Heist - Universal - Rated PG-13)
Tower Heist is an action comedy that is a little slim on the laughs, but it is a mostly entertaining film.   It plays on the "Wall Street as bad guys" angle that seems so fashionable of late, with Alan Alda playing a financial snake with aplomb.  I've pretty much decided that Ben Stiller isn't really much of an actor.  He has one character.  Ben Stiller.  And his part here is negligible…he's in almost every scene, but is still negligible.  Eddie Murphy is actually entertaining again…but the biggest surprise of this movie and the one who gets the biggest laughs is Michael Pena.  Yes, he steals heist. 
3 Stars Out of 5

(Puss In Boots - Dreamworks - Rated PG)
Puss in Boots has terrific animation, an interesting, imaginative story combining Jack & Jill, Humpty dumpty and Jack and the Bean Stock, but most of all, wisely avoids any mention or reference to the tired Shrek series or any of the pop culture references that have become so cliché.  No, this is actually a lot of fun!  And that's a huge surprise.  It is its own movie.  And an entertaining one at that!  I expected this to cough up a hairball, but it really purrs…4 Stars Out of 5

(The Rum Diary - Film district - Rated R)
The Rum Diary features adequate performances from the cast including an always interesting Johnny Depp.  But the film suffers from the lack of a compelling script  - it's flat.  And, the almost 50 something Johnny Depp hooks up with 20 something Amber Heard.  He's nearly twice her age.  Maybe that's a mid life crisis fantasy, but it only happens in Hollywood…or when she's had too much rum…3 Stars Out of 5

(In Time - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13)
In Time has an interesting concept - that of a future where aging has been conquered and wealth measured in terms of time left in one's life.  But that's where the originality stops.  It quickly falls into a haggard, Robin Hood plot with a Socialist agenda.  The film makers politics are worn proudly, almost obnoxiously.  The wealthy are bad, the poor are noble; redistribution of wealth is the way to utopia.  Both Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried have been much better in other movies, but that's the result of below par direction.  If Ttime flies when you're having fun, then this morose movie lasts years.  2 Stars Out of 5


(Paranormal Activity 3 - Paramount - Rated R)
While Paranormal Activity 3 follows the same basic plot of the first two films, viewing found footage after the fact, this prequel is actually the best of the three.  The first two had limited, moderate scares until the final moments, while this one manages to be hair-raising throughout.  It also answers many questions that have lingered through the first two films.  It's satisfying, chilling and gets 4 Stars Out of 5.

(Johnny English Reborn - Universal - Rated PG)
I don't know if it's just Rowan Atkinson or if it was the movie, but I experienced more than a few chuckles in Johnny English Reborn.  It has a silly, derivative James Bond style plot, a flat performance by Gillian Anderson, Rosamund Pike is gorgeous but forgettable, but yet I enjoyed myself.  It's better than the first.  This rebirth has more mirth…3 ½ Stars Out of 5

(The Three Musketeers - Summit Entertainment - Rated PG-13)
The Three Musketeers looks like a bunch of actors playing dress up. Pretty boys, pretty girls, pretty costumes but it all adds up to a silly, fluffy mess.
The mishmash plot makes little sense…so little I've already forgotten it.  I do remember the Englis,h American and German accents, but no French accents…but it takes place in Paris.  This feels like the party thrown by the high school losers who invited all the most popular kids, but they didn't show up.  It aspires to have fun but falls flat.  2 Stars Out of 5

 
(The Thing - Universal - Rated R)
The prequel to 1982's The Thing brings effective tension and decent effects, although those in the John Carpenter version seem more realistic. 
Anyone who has seen the 1982 version knows this ends badly, so there aren't very many surprises, although we do get to see more of the thing and a glimpse into where it came from.  The cast is fair, and I enjoyed finding out what happened just before one of my favorite 80's horror movies. I liked it.   4 Stars Out of 5
 
(Footloose - Paramount - Rated PG-13)
The remake of Footloose is one that made me scratch my head.  The original still stands up quite nicely today.  Some even call it a classic.  Which brings up the question…was this necessary?  It has some new arrangements of the old songs.  It's best during the nods to the original…but that just makes you long for the much better original.  This is basically a shot by shot remake, and is almost identical - down to the dance moves.  The cast is pale in comparison to the original, and the movie was just unnecessary.  That lingering question haunted me throughout the film…Why?  2 ½ Stars out of 5

(The Big Year - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG)
What do you get when you combine box office heavyweights Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson into one movie?  Wait.  Don't answer that.  What do you get when it's a movie about bird watching?  Don't answer that either.  What do you get when that movie has zero appeal, zero laughs and is just a big zero?  Now you can answer!  The Big Year!  That's two hours I'll never get back.  It's bland.  It seemed like a year…I'd call it The Big Bore.
1 ½ stars Out of 5

(Restless - Sony Pictures Classics - Rated PG-13)
In Restless Mia Wasikowska shines in her best performance so far.  She is cute, vibrant and the heart of this movie.  Henry Hopper adds dimension and an odd spirit in this quirky, bittersweet movie.  Director Gus Van Zant has once again crafted a wonderful, tragic and terrific film.  Go see it!  I loved it!  I wasn't restless for a second.  4 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(The Ides of March - Sony - Rated R)
Despite the fact that it's written and produced by George Clooney, is packed with liberal talking points and is about a Democrat running for president, The Ides of March isn't just a commercial for the Democratic party.  That's just a backdrop for an amazing, piercing, riveting performance by Ryan Gosling.  He delivers one academy voters are sure to notice.  He just might march to an Oscar.  4 Stars Out of 5

(Cave of Forgotten Dreams - Sony - Rated G)
Werner Herzog's Cave of Forgotten Dreams suffers from a too narrow subject - ancient cave paintings.  It's one that the director tries to flesh out with several odd tangents.  Unfortunately, the real content of this film could have fit into a half hour Discovery Channel special.  It drifts off to one sideline and then another, with the director providing monotone narration with wording that tends towards being too flamboyant.  Now, some of the paintings are quite beautiful and awe inspiring.  The last 30 minutes this film shines as the narration slows and more paintings are featured.  But even at 90 minutes, this film seems like it lasts as long, as the paintings are old.  3 Stars Out of 5

(Real Steel - Dreamworks - Rated PG-13)
Much is fake in Real Steel.  The CGI robots, the constant barrage of product placement, the terrible acting, including an actress with a laughable, hideous Russian accent, the Mortal Combat meets Rockem Sockem Robots meets Rocky plot, the dreadful melodrama in between bigger louder action scenes and an overly precocious, irritating kid who dances and smirks his way through this mess.  The film fails to generate any excitement as we can feel no emotional connection to the actual robotic combatants.  Steel?  Sly should sue - the plot was stolen from Rocky, and stolen from is how you'll feel after paying to see this…Real Steel is right.  2 Stars Out of 5



(50/50 - Summit Entertainment - Rated R)
Joseph Gordon Levitt is nothing short of wonderful in 50/50 - a raunchy cancer comedy that is so much more.  Levitt is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors.  He wasn't the producer's first choice for this film, but his outstanding performance makes this one film not to miss.  Seth Rogen is also fine as Levitt's best friend, while Anna Kendrick heaps on another great performance in a film with loads of heart, a few laughs, and some great performances.  50/50 has great odds…it's a 100 percent winner.  4 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(What's your Number? - 20th Century Fox - Rated R)
Anna Faris might seem an odd choice for a romantic comedy.  She's no Meg Ryan.  And that's a good thing.  Problem is, she's a lot better than her latest film, What's Your Number.  She is hilarious and sexy and will literally do anything for a laugh.  The movie is filled with plenty of awkward moments, a few too many if you ask me, but there are enough scenes like the underwear basketball scene that make up for it.  Sometimes it's a touch shrill - but it recovers, mostly because of the terrific Anna Faris.  Here's my number: 3 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Attack the Block - Screen Gems - Rated R)
Attack the Block is a somewhat amusing take on an alien invasion movie.  Despite being marketed as made by the producers of Shaun of the Dead, it's not a comedy.  Thick English accents make it tough to understand what is going on, but it has imaginative creatures and some good action. 
3 Stars Out of 5

(Dream House - Universal - Rated PG-13)
While watching Dream House, I was dreaming of all kinds of things…like wouldn't it be great if I didn't already know what is going on?  If you've seen the trailer, you know the film.  I also dreamt of a little bit of action.  This film contains nothing remotely pulse pounding at all.  Daniel Craig's performance is a bit interesting as is the basic premise, but this film drags on and on.  Dream House is an apt description…it's a real snoozer…
2 Stars out of 5


(Moneyball - Sony - Rated PG-13)
Brad Pitt's Moneyball is one of the best baseball movies ever made.  Pitt is simply spectacular as Billy Beane, the Oakland A's manager who transformed baseball.  Expect to see his name mentioned at Oscar time.  Pitt and costar Jonah Hill are terrific together - they have a special chemistry that you'd never think would be there.  Hill gives a performance that is subtle and nuanced…his best ever.  This is a magical, terrific film that everyone will love.  It's a home run!  4 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Dolphin Tale - Warner Brothers - Rated PG)
Dolphin Tale is a nice, family film that is a bit sappy, but this true tale Ends up being a heartwarming movie that adults and kids will enjoy.  The real life subject of the film, Winter, the dolphin that lost her tail is the star, and she's a real charmer.  There are a few too many shots of a boy in love with his dolphin, - embracing passionately - I felt a little awkward…but, the movie won me over…3 Stars Out of 5

(Killer Elite - Open Road Films - Rated R)
Killer Elite is an action flick I wanted to like.  After all, it's got Jason Statham, Robert DeNiro and Clive Owen.  But a good movie needs more than a good cast.  It needs a good script.  Sadly, this doesn't have one.  Statham is his usual stoic self, while the others are just there to get paid.  This convoluted, disposable, forgettable movie will be relegated to the discount bins quicker than you can say, "Dead On Arrival."  2 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Abduction - Lionsgate - Rated PG-13)
He gets help from some heavyweights, including Sigorney Weaver, Alfred Molina and Maria Bello, who all just did it for the paycheck, but Taylor Lautner proves he is no heavyweight in the silly film, Abduction.  Oh sure, he takes his shirt off a time or two which will satisfy his teen girl fans, but he is too lightweight an actor to convince us he is sad, or happy, or really, really mad.  He tries.  Really, really hard.  But he's just too pretty to do action.  And they never mess that face up.  He gets thrown out of a car, gets in a fight with a big burly Russian, and barely escapes an exploding house, but never gets as much as a scrape.   Add in a script that gets more ridiculous with every minute, and you've got 100 minutes of torture.  1 1/2 Stars Out of 5


(The Names of Love - Music Box Films - Rated R)
In the French film The Names of Love, the main character is a free spirit who believes she can transform any conservative into a liberal by her sexual prowess.  It is a fun concept that is competently handled.  I wasn't transformed, but I did like the movie…3 Stars Out of 5

(Drive - Filmdistrict - Rated R)
After a slow start with long stretches of Ryan Gosling just staring…Drive turns into a bleak, smart, provocative, caper film with very good performances by Gosling and Albert Brooks.  It's a more intelligent action film than audiences are used to.  It will be worth your time to drive to the theater and see this one…3 Stars Out of 5

(Straw Dogs - Screen Gems - Rated R)
While the remake of Straw Dogs has been relocated from England to the American deep south, and retains most of the plot, much of this dog's bite has been removed.  I still don't see why this film needed to be remade.  Dustin Hoffman's performance in the Sam Peckinpah original is one of his best, and James Marsden's version pales in comparison.  The script has been dumbed down somewhat, and while it is gorier, it is, oddly, less shocking than the original.  James Woods overacts, and Kate Bosworth seems lost.  Bad dog, no biscuit.  2 1/2  Stars Out of 5

(The Future - Roadside Attractions - Rated R)
The Future is an angsty film with odd characters who are quirky to a fault.  There is loads of navel gazing with characters who seem overridden with guilt for just being alive.  This is appealing for the first ten minutes, when it extends into tedium, and then it just gets weird.  I wanted to like it, but just didn't.  If this is the future, give me the past.  2 1/2 Stars out of 5

(I Don't Know How She Does It - The Weinstein Company - Rated PG-13)
I don't get Sarah Jessica Parker's appeal.  I Don't Know How She Does It is her latest unappealing role in an unappealing film.  Her hair looks like it was dragged though the contents of a full vacuum cleaner bag after cleaning the grease trap at Bubbas's BBQ Pit.  At one point in the movie she is referred to as "A giant untweezed eyebrow."  That about covers it.  Here's a note I wrote while watching it:  Hate.  Deeply.  Hate.  From the contrived and forced script to the fake looking soap bubble snow, it is a mess…The title seems to be referring to how Parker gets jobs…I don't know how she does it either.  Maybe we'll get lucky and this will be her last.  1 1/2 Stars out of 5

(Contagion - Warner Brothers - Rated PG-13)
Germophobes and hypochondriacs should avoid Steven Soderbergh's Contagion.   They will be crawling out of their skin after the opening sequence.  The opening is riveting - it wastes no time on meaningless melodrama, but jumps right into the sickness.  The acting is very good - Jude Laws snaggletoothed blogger is a bit of a cartoon, but Jennifer Ehle steals the movie from heavyweights Gwynneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, Matt Damon and Lawrence Fishburne, who are all very good.  The film is an interesting take on what would happen to society if we had a pandemic that killed millions.  But, after the logical conclusion, the film drags on for another 20 minutes or so giving it less impact and diminishing what might have been a great film, but what is still a very good film.  Catch it.  It's infectious!  3 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(The First Beautiful Thing - Palisades Tartan - Not Rated)
The First Beautiful Thing is a wonderful, moving Italian film that covers a lifetime - that of a beautiful young mother and her children.  It is a surprisingly emotional film.  Not quite first, but it is beautiful.  3 stars Out of 5

(Creature - Bubble Factory - Rated R)
I had a good time watching Creature.  Not because it is a good movie, but because it is so bad.  It's pretty much a laugh a minute with hideous acting, a ridiculous creature and ample, gratuitous nudity.  It stars Sid Haig, better known as Captain Spaulding to fans of Rob Zombie movies.  This muddy, swampy mess is so bad it's good.  It's a 1 star movie that I'm giving 2 1/2 Stars Out of 5 for the unintentional fun of it.

(Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star - Sony - Rated R)
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star is a tawdry, low budget porn comedy, produced and written by Adam Sandler and starring standup comic Nick Swardson.   I hated just about every second of it.  Swardson's Midwest accent is kind of fun for the first five minutes, but then just gets grating.  Even the presence of the angelic Christina Ricci can't rescue this movie from itself.  It misfires on every level.  Keven Nealon is irritated and irritating to the point that I just wanted to glue his lips together with super glue and stab him repeatedly in the buttocks with a small, sharp fork.  The movie is filthy and despicable in most parts, and is guilty of the cardinal sin of comedy.  It's not funny.  Well that and you HATE all of the characters, except Christina Ricci, who is impossible to hate.  You'll be lucky if you DON'T see Bucky.  1 Star Out of 5. 

(The Debt - Focus Features - Rated R)
The Debt tells the story of a mission that happened 30 years ago, and its after effects 30 years later.  It's never boring and always kept me involved. 
Hellen Mirren and Jessica Chastain are the standouts here, playing the same character 30 years apart.  My one beef with the film is that Sam Worthington looks nothing like Ciaran Hinds, who plays the older version of him.  This intelligent, intricate, twisty spy thriller gave me sweaty palms.  
You owe yourself to see the debt…4 Stars Out of 5

(Shark Night 3-D - Relativity Media - Rated PG-13)
Who came up with the idea of a PG-13 shark attack movie?  There are certain genres of movies that shouldn't try for the family friendly rating. 
Shark Night 3-D is one of them.  Although there are lots of bikinis, there is little fright in this toothless movie with not much bite…it just kind of gums you to a state of unconsciousness…2 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Apollo 18 - The Weinstein Company - Rated PG-13)
I've always been a fan of space ships and astronauts…and that made me hate Apollo 18…well, that and the fact that it's just a bad movie.  It's one of those "found footage" movies.  Like Blair Witch Project.   Problem is, it's just not believable.  It's supposed to be about a secret moon mission.  I think somebody would have noticed an Apollo launch.  It's also deadly dull.  There's something about the old fashioned looking footage that diminishes any suspense this might have had.  It's supposed to be about creatures coming out of the moon…but I think it's really about creatures coming out of Uranus. 2 stars Out of 5



(Columbiana - Sony - Rated PG-13)
Columbiana is trashy, and proud of it.  This high octane film features the gorgeous Zoe Saldana in her underwear and sexy, skintight outfits, wiping out bad guys.  That alone is worth the price of admission!  She's totally believable as she sets out to exact revenge on the killers of her parents.  She's like a female version of Charles Bronson, without the pock marks and looking way better in bra and panties.  Add in a few well orchestrated fight scenes and you've got a guilty pleasure worth multiple viewings!  3 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Another Earth - Fox Searchlight - Rated PG-13)
Another Earth is not the sci-fi movie it is supposed to be.   The science fiction angle is just a backdrop that is barely there, and is barely explored.  No, this is a movie about grief, regret, and making amends.  Writer and star Brit Marling is very good.  I look forward to seeing her in many more films.  But this movie with its indy, documentary style, contains too many directorial missteps to be anything to hang her hat on.  The end leaves much to chew on.  Another Earth left me wanting another movie.  3 Stars Out of 5

(Our Idiot Brother - The Weinstein Company - Rated R)
In Our Idiot Brother, Paul Rudd goes against type playing a guileless, lovable slacker.  It also stars Zooey Deschannel, Elizabeth Banks, Rashida Jones, Steve Coogan and Emily Mortimer.  Great cast, but the script…not so much.  There are not many laughs in an anemic film that contains shallow, unlikeable characters and not much else.  I think the idiots here are those that pay to see the film…2 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - Filmdistrict - Rated R)
Even though Don't Be Afraid of the Dark comes from Producer/Writer Guillermo del Toro, any expectations of greatness are soon vanquished. 
This horror film stars the mismatched Katie Holmes and Guy Pierce - they have no chemistry at all in a movie filled with clichés.   But that's just the beginning of the problems.  This film fails to elicit any scares at all, mostly because the "monsters" are 6 inches tall.  Kids might have nightmares about the Tooth Fairy after this, but adults might just call it, "unsatisfying," "toothless" or "limp."  My main problem with it was, couldn't you just call an exterminator?  Or set rat traps?  Just put on a pair of golf cleats and step on them?  Or, like snails, set out a few buckets of beer and let them drown themselves in it?  That's what I felt like doing to myself after watching it…Don't be afraid of this movie…it's not scary in the least.  Nothing to be afraid of here…avoid it at any cost.  2 Stars Out of 5

(Fright Night - Dreamworks - Rated R)
I loved the original, but the remake of Fright Night has been updated nicely, and even though I had my doubts, it is actually fairly entertaining. 
Colin Farrell is outstanding, as is Anton Yelchin in a film that is darker than the original with more than a few jumps.  And for a change, the 3-D was worth the extra money.  Fright Night is an outright delight.  4 Stars Out of 5

(Spy Kids: All the Time in the World - Dimension Films - Rated PG)
Spy Kids: All the Time in the World appears to be another film written by Director Robert Rodriguez's children.  It has a silly plot just for kids.  Newer, cuter kids star, and Jessica Alba plays it straight but the rest of the cast plays it like a cartoon.  The gimmick beside 3-D is Aromascope - a scratch and sniff card that coincides with scenes in the movie.  #7 was the killer…it smelled like a dirty diaper…come to think of it, so did the movie.  2 Stars Out of 5

(One Day - Focus Features - Rated PG-13)
In One Day, Anne Hathaway sports a British accent.  That's only the beginning of the film's many troubles.  Her accent didn't really work, and neither did the movie.  The two leads are passable and each appealing in their own way, but generate little actual chemistry. 
This long, frustrating film has a story that stinks - it travels on autopilot until it takes a bleak turn 3/4 of the way through, taking the audience down into a funk that never recovers.  The only film I can think of to do this to an audience is the famous short, Bambi Versus Godzilla, where Bambi is shown in a peaceful scene only to be suddenly smashed by the foot of Godzilla.  After the film I found myself asking, "What was the point?"
I'm just thankful it was only One Day.  Who knows how bad Two Days would have been…2 Stars Out of 5

(Conan the Barbarian - Lionsgate - Rated R)
The remake of Conan the Barbarian starts with a battlefield caesarian that gives birth to an obviously animatronic baby and gets worse from there.  Star Jason Momoa has all the acting ability of his loin cloth.  The film features an incoherent script, and endless indecipherable battles that feature special effects like the "Styrofoam rocks of death!"  Topless slave girls led me to believe it was going to get better, but then they disappeared and the movie went south again.  Terrible 3-D makes the film so dark you can't really tell what is going on, although it's probably better if you don't.  It was all pretty boring…It was so boring I think a more exciting film might have been Conan the Librarian, or Conan the Veterinarian. Or even Conan the Octogenarian Humanitarian.  1 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(The Help - Dreamworks - Rated PG-13)
Several Oscar-worthy performances highlight The Help, including those by Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jessica Chastain, and Octavia Spencer.  With a great story and great direction, it captures the look of 1960's south perfectly.  You'll laugh, you'll cry, you be changed by this terrifically moving, inspirational audience pleaser.  I couldn't help but absolutely love this movie.  It's one of the best of the year.  5 Stars Out of 5

(30 Minutes or Less - Columbia - Rated R)
30 Minutes or Less surprised me.  I expected a stupid comedy with few laughs and instead was treated to a raunchy, funny film with many hilarious and delightful moments.  The entire cast in this laugh-filled action comedy
is funny, but Aziz Ansari stands out as does the brilliant Michael Pena, who  nearly steals the film with his speech impaired gangster thug.  And don't miss the segment after the credits…you don't want to miss it!  It's a great ending to one of the funniest comedies of the year.  4 Stars Out of 5

(Final Destination 5 - Warner Brothers - Rated R)
All of the Final Destination movies have been the same basic film.  The fifth is no different. Oh, there are different characters, and different scenarios, but as in all of the films, several cheat death, and then are picked off one by one in inventive and gruesome ways.  This version features a spectacular bridge collapse and lots of 3-D splatter.  There's nothing new here, but I did find myself enjoying it.  3 Stars Out of 5

(Glee: The 3-D Concert Movie - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG)
Glee: The 3-D Concert Movie is kind of an odd bird.  The cast stays in their Glee characters which I found jarring.  It adds an element of artificialness to something that is supposed to be closer to reality than the TV show.  They strut around the stage, dancing and lip syncing to the canned music. 
Couldn't they have at least sung the music live?  I wondered what the point was.  It brings nothing new.  It's basically a big, weird, Glee commercial interspersed with fan stories.  I never got into it.  Obsessed fans who watch every episode 35 times will probably like it, but they are the only ones.  Everyone else can skip it.  2 1/2 Stars Out of 5


(The Change Up - Universal - Rated R)
Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman are raunchy, funny and very entertaining in The Change Up.  This movie is groundbreaking for its digitally enhanced nudity.  You think you are seeing Leslie Mann naked, but nope, it's all computer graphics.  It's Hollywood's version of airbrushing.  If you don't got it flaunt it anyway and fix it in "Post."  I did like the movie.  It made me laugh.  The story is old, but it is a change up of those that had been done before.  3 1/2 Stars Out of 5
(Rise of the Planet of the Apes - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13)
While Rise of the Planet of the Apes is pretty good, there is a little monkey business with the back story.  It seems to veer from what has been  established in previous Apes films.  That may be tweaked in upcoming sequels, so the jury is still out on that.  With many entertaining hat tips to the original, it is a lot of fun.  The CG apes look very real, with just a few wonky effects in places.  The ending screams, "there will be more."  I can't say I was ape over it…I didn't go bananas…but it was almost as much fun as a barrel of monkeys.  3 1/2 Stars Out of 5


(Crazy, Stupid, Love - Warner Brothers - Rated PG-13)
Full of heart humor, Crazy Stupid love boasts great performances from an all star cast, including Marisa Tomai who is a scream.  And this is the kind of role Steve Carrell was born to play.  He really shines in this terrific, well written romantic comedy that's not just a chick flick.  It's crazy…not stupid, and I loved it.  4 Stars Out of 5

(The Smurfs - Columbia - Rated PG)
The Smurfs looked like a bomb from the trailers.  The kind of movie only kids would like, maybe not even them.  Wow, was I wrong!  It's not as crass as most kid movies have become, with very little potty humor, and not a mean spirited bone to be found.  Although there is a fair amount of cat abuse.  (But he's a bad guy and deserves it.)  Neil Patrick Harris is terrific and pairs well with the very cute Jayma Mays.  It did make me smile more than once.  It's sweet, guileless fun for kids as well as their parents.  I must admit, I kept thinking "smurf Turf" and got excited for football. 3 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Cowboys & Aliens - Universal - Rated PG-13)
You know what Cowboys & Aliens is just from the title.  The only question is will it stink?  No, I didn't think so.  Was it the best movie of the summer?  No, it wasn't.  But it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  It is a reasonably entertaining popcorn film that, granted, has a lot of plot holes and is one that if you think about it too much when you leave the theater, you will like it less. 
Much of the all star cast is wasted.  Its mashup of an alien movie and a western doesn't do either one justice, but there are enough explosions and jumps to keep you awake.  It's not the first time this combination has been tried…and it's not the best.  That distinction belongs to the original Star Wars.  3 Stars Out of 5

(Nostalgia For The Light - Icarus Films - Not Rated)
Nostalgia For The Light is like that dreaded cousin who takes everything he does as so serious it has a world shaking impact.  Never mind that it doesn't, and that when he tells you about it in mind-numbing ,excruciating detail, any impact it might have had gets squeezed out.  This rambling, unfocused film struggles to find deep meaning in the smallest of details.  It is an overwrought documentary that unsuccessfully tries to link astronomy with the killing of political prisoners during Chile's Pinochet dictatorship.  It is very slow and mostly uninteresting with about 15 minutes of actual content.  Do yourself a favor and avoid it in for  a much more pleasant activity like plucking your eyelashes or a colonoscopy.  2 Stars Out of 5


(Friends With Benefits - Screen Gems - Rated R)
Even though it has the same basic plot as the earlier No Strings Attached, Friends With Benefits is a much better movie.  Deeper.  Better writing, better direction and better performances.  Adding to the depth of this movie are terrific performances from Woody Harrelson, Patricia Clarkson and Richard Jenkins.  Justin Timberlake is the best he's been in a movie, for the first time showing some serious leading man ability, as well as his rear end multiple times.  Mila Kunis is a doll, and guys, before you get too excited about her behind baring scene, it, sadly, was done by a body double.  But don't let that detract too much from this surprisingly good, sexy, warm and funny romantic comedy.  For a good time, go see this movie.  4 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Captain America: The First Avenger - Paramount - Rated PG-13)
With Captain America: The First Avenger you can skip the 3-D upgrade, it adds nothing.  I wish the studios would stop with the inferior conversions, they are turning people off to 3-D.  While the 3-D stinks, the movie doesn't. 
There are some amazing special effects most notably the one that turns Chris Evans into skinny 90 pound weakling Steve Rogers. It is pretty convincing.  Evans steps effortlessly into this role and does a convincing job.   But it is Tommy Lee Jones who gets the best lines.  There is a pretty good story here, and this always entertaining film glides through its two hour runtime quickly.  It is the fourth of four superhero movies this summer.  They've saved the best for last.  4 Stars Out of 5

(Queen to Play - Zeitgeist Films - Not Rated)
In Queen to Play, the always good Kevin Klein is good, and lead Sandrine Bonnaire plays a lonely housewife who longs to learn the game of chess.  She seldom smiles, but when she does, she lights up the screen.
Like watching a chess match, Queen to Play is a bit like watching paint dry at times.  It's slow.  If you can get through the parts that seem to drag on forever, your efforts will be rewarded with a reasonably satisfying film. 
A checkered script, but not a total blunder.  3 Stars Out of 5

(Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 - Warner Brothers - Rated PG-13)
Most film franchises start strong and end weakly.  With the Harry Potter films, the opposite has been true.  While they've all been terrific, the last, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is the best.  It jumps right in, there's no review…so if you haven't seen it yet, you might want to watch part one first.  There is a ton of action, it had me on the edge of my seat for most of the film.  The special effects are amazing.  This final installment is incredibly satisfying, with most cast members returning for a final farewell.  The three leads have grown from appealing children to competent adult actors with a bright future ahead.  While I loved every second of it, it was bittersweet.  I'm sad to see the end.  It is a brilliant, fitting end to one of the all time great epic film series.  5 Stars Out of 5

(Submarine - The Weinstein Company - Rated R)
Submarine is a mildly subversive, droll, cheeky British film that seems to draw its inspiration from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  It's quirky but tries too hard to be that way, although at times, it is very funny.  It never quite recovers from a section in the middle that drags terribly, but for the most part Submarine is mostly entertaining, but not too deep.  3 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Winnie the Pooh - Disney - Rated G)
The latest Winnie the Pooh tale, titled simply, Winnie the Pooh, doesn't contain much for adults.  I struggled to make it through the mercifully short 60 minute Pooh run time.   The benign, bland Pooh story isn't dissimilar to other Pooh tales, containing many of the same tried and true Pooh elements.   Surprisingly, this took eight Pooh writers to accomplish.  Eight Pooh writers to apply a re-tread to the old Pooh story?  Some of the Pooh voice work is very good, but some of it…is just Pooh.  This doesn't break any new ground.  You might say it's the same old Pooh.  Except for the music.  It is refreshing, wonderful music from Zooey Deschannel that for me was the highlight of the film.  In all, not quite Pooh, but close.  3 Stars Out of 5


(Buck - Sundance Selects - Rated PG)
Buck is the true story of Buck Brannaman, the real life Horse Whisperer who says, "Horses and Life.  It's all the same to me."  He does some incredible things with horses, training them in just minutes.  But it is much more than a horse movie.  It is packed with wisdom and life lessons from a man who suffered through child abuse and overcame it.  It is an outstanding movie about an outstanding man.  See this movie!  4 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Horrible Bosses - New Line - Rated R)
Horrible Bosses is funny.  But it's not the three leads that get the laughs, it's the bosses.  I once had a boss like Kevin Spacey's character - the slave driving psycho type, so this movie hit home with me from the start.  Colin Farrell's comb over jerk is hilarious and Jennifer Anniston is a scream as a sexually harassing dentist.  She steals the movie!  This funny action comedy
is the second best comedy of the year.  Not horrible.  Not at all.  4 Stars Out of 5

(Zookeeper - Sony - Rated PG)
Why is it that Kevin James was so good in King of Queens but is so awful in movies?  He looks uncomfortable and makes the audience feel that way.  Zookeeper is mostly painful with lots of pratfalls and not many jokes.  Adam Sandler is a producer, and voices the monkey, while Sly Stallone and Cher are also animal voices.  Problem is, it's impossible to suspend disbelief with the too recognizable celebrity animal voices.  Every time they talk you think oh yeah, that's Nick Nolte.  Or, "Yo, Adrian." With five writers, it follows the old saying too many cooks spoil the broth.  The plot is a mess.  If you like torture, this movie's for you.  Since it's an Adam Sandler comedy, you know defecation jokes abound.  Zookeeper?  More like pookeeper.  1 1/2 Stars Out of 5

(Beginners - Focus Features - Rated R)
In Beginners, star Ewan McGregor is terrific, Melanie Laurent is delightful, and Christopher Plummer delivers a heartfelt performance that ranks among his very best.  This touching, delightful, warm, witty and funny film features
rich characters who I really felt something for.  Add in wonderful direction and a terrific script, and it's clear that the film makers are not beginners.  Life, death, happiness, sadness…Beginners is magnificent!  5 Stars Out of 5

(Incendies - Sony - Rated R)
Incendies is an intense, brutal, intriguing, twisty tale.  This French Canadian import is extremely well done, with great performances and a plot that keeps you involved.  It has a somewhat contrived, but interesting, shocking conclusion.  It's one that sticks to your brain cells.  4 Stars Out of 5

(Larry Crowne - Universal - Rated PG-13)
Tom Hanks wrote, produced, directed and stars in Larry Crowne.  It is a wonderful romantic comedy that has likeable performances from the ensemble cast.  Hanks and Julia Roberts have wonderful chemistry. And George Takai almost completely steals the movie.  You are going to like it. I sure did.  I smiled nearly the entire time.  Larry is very…good!
4 Stars Out of 5

(Monte Carlo - Fox 2000 - Rated PG)
The plot for Monte Carlo has been done before…the old "mistaken identity gets you a wonderful experience" story.  This is basically a TV movie with a larger production budget.  It's predictable but not terrible.  Leighton Meester and Selena Gomez add spunk to an otherwise bland tale.  Gomez less so, with Meester once again exhibiting serious star quality.  She overshadows the movie, and makes it better.  Gomez, exhibits a cute, but empty face,
3 Stars Out of 5

(Transformers Dark of the Moon - Paramount - Rated PG-13)
Transformers Dark of the Moon is not as good as the first, but better than the second.  It takes huge liberties, rewriting history to fit with the evolving Transformers mythology.  This includes the first moon landing, John F. Kennedy, and the real Buzz Aldrin.  Shia LeBeouf is a bit more irritating this time, John Malkovich sports a spray tan, and Megan Fox isn't missed, but is referred to many times always in less than glowing terms.  It's hard to tell the good Transformers from the bad but no matter.  It contains an explosion roughly every 3 seconds or so, and has enough eye candy for most dullards to think they saw something of merit.  Its silly story is inconsequential.  It is bombastic, loud and at one point during an especially big explosion I actually felt my hair move from the shock wave put out by the speakers.  I now know that there is such a thing as too much mayhem…I was exhausted at the conclusion.  Optimus, not quite prime.  Get me a nap, and I'll give you 3 Stars Out of 5

(Cars 2 - Disney - Rated G)
The best thing about Cars 2 is the Toy Story short that precedes it.  It's very funny!  But Cars 2 is like a made for TV special with all of your favorite characters from Cars.  Drop the characters into an international espionage plot and see what happens.  Forget about everything that made the first one great.  Oh, and throw in a few explosions with its politically correct green message.  Not a lot for adults here…I found my eyelids growing heavy a time or two.  It seems forced and I thought I'd never say this about a Pixar film…But there's not much heart.  Sad to say, this is the first Pixar film that's not a victory lap.  It's just kind of on cruise control.  3 Stars out of 5

(Bad Teacher - Sony - Rated R)
In Bad Teacher, Cameron Diaz is an unlikable, despicable person.  It's her least likable role ever.  No charm, nothing remotely redeeming, just wince inducing.  And I hate to say it but she is developing the Madonna sinewy look that really isn't attractive in any way.  Justin Timberlake is cartoonish and that's not in a good way.  Jason Segel is hardly there, but he's the best part of the movie.  Bad…Teacher.  You know what?  It is. Bad.  2 Stars Out of 5

(The Tree of Life - Fox Searchlight - Rated PG-13)
The Tree of Life is a pseudo-spiritual jumble about life and death with no real discernable plot.  It's told in an ethereal, dream like way.
Lines of dialogue fade in and out, there are cuts to unrelated images of water or a beam of light.  Cut to Sean Penn walking in the desert.  Then here's some clouds.  How about a nebula?  Cut to volcanoes and CGI dinosaurs, then back to Brad Pitt and him being mean to his family.  You don't get a story…just images…just snippets of scenes stitched together.  It's like a 2 1/2 hour long movie trailer…a very, very long insufferable, spacey, weird, mishmash of nonsense.  They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die…that happened to me when I watched this film…or was it the film I saw…either way, it was like dying.  2 Stars Out of 5