Movie Review
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P2 - Summit Entertainment - Rated R
P2 refers to the floor number in the parking garage where a woman is tormented by an obsessed psycho. This is standard stuff, and there's nothing new in the story. The bad guy isn't convincing or menacing enough and is just a bad enough actor that you want to laugh at him rather than be scared by him. The audience was literally heckling the screen and laughing. That was much more entertaining than this silly mess. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
P.S.
Laura Linney really shows off her acting chops in P.S., a film that is filled with good performances. She is terrific as a university recruiter having a midlife crisis. She finds solace in a young man who might be a reincarnation of her high school flame. I liked this very interesting and engaging film.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Pacifier
If you are already a fan of Vin Diesel, you might like The Pacifier. But this is a kids film. It plays like a bland TV movie, and the diaper jokes come fast and furious. There aren't any real belly laughs here. It's just all kind of syrupy. Vin Diesel looks lost most of the time as he tries to figure out this comedy stuff. I heard him say in an interview he wanted to do a musical, but in this movie he sings…and he'd better go back to blowing stuff up.
2 Stars Out of 5
Pandorum - Overture Films - Rated R
In Pandorum, the audience is immediately thrust into the unknown. We are at once disoriented which proves unsettling, and ultimately adds to the horror. Reminiscent of Alien in feel, it is tense with lots of jumps. Deftly crafted with expert direction, this freaky, slimy, gritty sci-fi horror film is one of the best horror films so far this year. 4 Stars Out of 5
Pan's Labyrinth
Wildly imaginative and very dark, Pan's Labyrinth is rightly called a fairy tail for adults. It has many disturbing scenes that are far too intense for children. I loved it! The special effects are great and the creatures are extraordinary. But it's the story that really grabbed me. This is a terrific movie! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paparazzi
Sure, Paparazzi's cheesy, but it appealed to a certain base side of me. The characters are all over the top, the acting is for the most part, bad, Dennis Farina does his best Columbo impersonation, and the story has way too many holes in it to be believable. I shouldn't have, but in the end, I liked it.
3 Stars Out of 5
Paper Heart - Overture Films - Rated PG-13
In Paper Heart, Charlyne Yi stars in a mockumentary about her quest to find real love. The movie suffers greatly in that she has almost no personality. As a result, we care little about her or what she thinks. Shred this one. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paranormal Activity - Paramount - Rated R
Paranormal Activity was shot on video for a reported $15,000, but manages to keep us interested with a very good buildup while it explores what goes bump in the night. It's not the scariest movie I've ever seen, but it has a great premise, and the end's a zinger! 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paranormal Activity 2 - Paramount - Rated R
In Paranormal Activity 2 a pan falls and you know it must be something more than a faulty hook. A kid's toy starts running, and the switch isn't broken. A door opens and then closes…ooh…The surveillance cameras also record every bit of mundane, meaningless drivel, but we never really see what is going on. At the end of the movie, we are left wondering. This is a prequel to the first, with two characters returning. This time there are more loud noises, and a few more actual scares, but this is pretty much a carbon copy of the first. Problem is, this time we know it's fake. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paris - Sony - Rated R
Paris, now at The Flicks, gives a glimpse into one of the world's great cities - warts and all. The entire cast is superb, but Juliette Binoche is especially great. With interesting, interwoven stories. It's a kind of a love letter to Paris. 3 Stars Out of 5
The Passion of the Christ
The Passion of the Christ is the film that some are calling lurid, and nearly pornographic in it's violence. Some have been calling it anti-Semitic. Everybody wants to know what it is like. So let me try to answer some questions for you. This film deals only with the last 12 hours of Jesus Christ's life on the day of his crucifixion in Jerusalem. It stars Jim Caviezel, and Monica Bellucci and was directed and co-written by Mel Gibson.
Is it lurid? No, but it is brutal. It is graphic. It is bloody. It will make you wince. Some in the audience were crying. You can almost feel the pain and torture that Jesus went through in the last 12 hours of his life. But I don't think that is a bad thing. It is certainly not pornographic. Is it anti-Semitic? I don't think it is at all anti-Semitic. It shows those that killed Jesus as pawns of the devil. And now the big question, Is it good? Yes, it is the best religious film I've ever seen. Mel Gibson is a gifted film maker. I am glad he stuck to his guns and released this film. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pathfinder
Note to the producers of Pathfinder. When you want to make a movie about hacking off heads you should at least be able to afford enough lighting so the audience can see it. Oh, and some dialogue that doesn't cause the audience to howl with laughter would be nice. And your story should be coherent. That might be asking too much. It would probably also be good to hire an actor instead of an underwear model for your lead.
1 Star Out of 5
Paul - Universal - Rated R
For all of its comic pedigree, Paul is a bit of a disappointment. The writers and stars of Shaun of the Dead collaborating with the director of Superbad seem to be a match made in heaven, but the film has less than spectacular results. And casting Seth Rogen as the voice of the alien was a mistake. He's too recognizable. There is some inventive cussing and plenty of fanboy in-jokes, but some will take exception to the film's treatment of faith, and those who practice it. My beef with the film is it's not the rollicking comedy it should be, but it is funny in parts. Since Paul was released the same week as St. Patrick's Day, I decided to write a limerick in its honor…
There once was an alien named Paul
Whose height was a little bit small
He smoked a little pot
But it wasn't so hot
And the film hit a bit of a wall. 3 Stars Out of 5
Paul Blart: Mall Cop - Sony Rated PG
Paul Blart: Mall Cop stars Kevin James, who co-wrote it. While he can be very funny as an actor, he's not so funny as a writer. This movie is one long, blubbery, worn-out fat joke. It's also demeaning, embarrassing, and made me engage in the longest cringe of my life. 90 minutes. The length of the film. So much so, blart is my new word for cringe. It made me blart. It made me blart so much, people were looking at me. Even after the film, I blarted in the lobby. Even now I can barely contain the urge to blart right here! Excuse me, I blarted. 2 stars Out of 5
Peaceful Warrior
Peaceful Warrior is really just a kind of Zen Karate Kid knock off. But this time Nick Nolte is the Mr Miagi character. He plays a gas station attendant that trains a gymnast. I expected him to do the whole wax on, wax off thing and he just about did. But his thing was "take out the trash." They forgot to do that with this movie. 2 Stars Out of 5
Penelope - Summit entertainment - Rated PG
Penelope has its heart in the right place but is flawed. It is told in a too broad farcical style with painfully whimsical music to clue us that a comic moment is about to occur, and script problems abound. The major fault is, even with a pig nose, Christina Ricci's still beautiful. So when her potential suitors run away screaming and breaking through windows to escape her supposedly hideous face, it's ridiculous. The film has a nice message, but many thinking viewers will have tuned out by the time it gets there. 3 Stars Out of 5
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: Lightening Thief - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Every second of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightening Thief screams, "Hey! I wanna be Harry Potter!" The problem with that is, it isn't even close. This is an interesting concept, but is so poorly executed that no one cares. This has a bland, forgettable cast of kids in the lead roles. Pierce Brosnan is wearing the back end of a horse, and Uma Thurman has a snake nest for a hairdo, but the CGI effects that attach those various appendages aren't very convincing as the actors wobble around in them. There are moments when this film almost has a pulse, but they are too fleeting to lift this above blah wannabe. Who is the lightning thief? I don't care. 2 Stars Out of 5
The Perfect Holiday - Yari Film Group - Rated PG
In The Perfect Holiday, former Academy Award nominee Terrence Howard looks stoned, and he must have been, as we actually see him say he has to "go dookie." while Queen Latifah is well, just plain irritating. Charlie Murphy plays a rapper with the unfortunate name of J-Jizzy who has songs like I love the ho ho hos. Yes, the holiday spirit is totally absent in this horribly directed, abysmal, stale fruitcake, waste of film. The Perfect Holiday? Not so much. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Perfect Score
The Perfect Score is a movie about taking cheating to a new level. It doesn't take film making to a new level, it just does what has been done dozens of times before. It's kind of like The Breakfast Club without the originality and charm. But I do have to mention Leonardo Nam who steals the movie with his very amusing stoner character.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Perfect Stranger
Perfect Stranger starts out OK, but the story falls apart in the last third of the movie and then gets completely ridiculous by the ending. Halle Berry is as usual, gorgeous, but Bruce Willis doesn't move from the lips up. You just can't get those botox treatments too close to your shooting days! It's a stupid move and a stupid movie. 2 Stars Out of 5
Persepolis - Sony Pictures Classics - Rated PG-13
Not for kids, Persepolis tells the bleak story of the Islamic takeover of Iran and the loss of freedom that ensued. It is stark and political, with stylized black and white animation that is somewhat lacking. But the story is one the world needs to see. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Phone Booth
Phone Booth feels a bit contrived. Collin Farrell and Forrest Whittaker are the stars here, with Kiefer Sutherland as the voice of the bad guy sounding strange, manipulated, and not real believable. The rest of the cast including Katie Holmes is wasted. This ends up being unsatisfying and contrived.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Pianist
The Pianist is a brilliant, moving piece of film making. Based on a true story, you really feel the isolation and fear of the main characters as they try to avoid the Nazi occupation of Warsaw during World War Two…Adrien Brody is spectacular in the lead role of Wladyslaw Szpilman, and is deserving of an Oscar Nomination.
5 Stars Out of 5
Pieces of April
Pieces of April is a quirky, fun movie about a young woman, played by Katie Holmes, who has had a rocky relationship with her parents, but invites them to thanksgiving dinner. She has never prepared one before, and her oven stops working, so she enlists the neighbors help. He mother, played by Oscar Nominated Patricia Clarkson is dying of cancer, and provides the films very best moments. I loved this movie, and Patricia Clarkson deserves her Oscar nomination. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Piglet's Big Movie
This follows the same flashback formula that most of the recent Disney sequels have used to tie three short stories together. Not a lot here for adults, but the younger kids will find inspiration in the film's "you can do big things even if you're little" theme.
3 Stars Out of 5
Pineapple Express - Sony - Rated R
Make no mistake, Pineapple Express is a dope movie. While it is very pot-fueled, it is also very funny. Hearkening back to 80's action comedies, it is bloody and violent with tons of action and even more laughs. In other films he seems uncomfortable, but James Franco is right in his element here and is great. Seth Rogen is very funny and the terrific Danny R. McBride steals most of the scenes he's in. This is a stoner film that you don't have to be stoned to enjoy. 4 Stars Out of 5
The Pink Panther
In The Pink Panther, Steve Martin makes a good effort but ultimately fails to recreate the magic that Peter Sellers had with the original Pink Panther films. There are a few laughs, but most of them were seen in the trailer. There is only one actor that will be forever identified with Inspector Clouseau and Steve Martin is not him. 2 Stars Out of 5
Pink Panther 2 - Sony - Rated PG
Why was Pink Panther 2 made? One reason, pure and simple, for a payday. While there are one or two sparks of fun lasting all of about 45 seconds total, this predictable mishmash features mostly tired slapstick, and 95% boredom. Although there is some unintentional humor with the too-obvious stunt doubles for Steve Martin wearinga their silly white wigs. Watching this, I thought "What a waste." Or maybe it IS waste. I know! Let's call it Pink Panther NUMBER 2. 2 Stars Out of 5
Piranha 3-D - Dimension Films - Rated R
Piranha 3-D knows exactly what it wants to be and unapologetically does that to a T. This is a throwback to the 70's horror film that inspired it. Loads of skin and loads of gore highlighted by an over the top sense of humor that takes no prisoners. Jerry O'Connell is great as a Joe Francis Girls Gone Wild like character who gets a certain part of his anatomy removed by the hungry fish. This is an orgy of depravity. It's terrible, but I loved it. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pirate Radio - Focus Features - Rated R
Pirate Radio is a story about the romance we used to have with radio. Subversive, funny, and fantastic, with a perfectly delightful ensemble cast, it plays fast and loose with the facts, about English pirate radio ships in the 60's, but is a lot of fun. It made me long for the days where the music was what mattered. 4 Stars Out of 5
Pirates of the Caribbean
Pirates of the Caribbean is swashbuckling good fun with a rousing performance by Johnny Depp playing the somewhat off kilter Captain Jack Sparrow. He's the best he's ever been in any movie. My only beef with the film is the makeup artist put a little too much eye makeup on him. The film would even be great without him. There is lots of action, lots of laughs and undead skeleton pirates, one of whom keeps losing his artificial eye in a very funny running joke. It also honors the Disneyland ride with several references which fans (like me) will love.4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is more action packed, more fun and scarier than the first film. Johnny Depp's Captain Jack is back along with Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley. Once again it's Depp that steals the movie which in this case is hard to do, considering he has to compete with about a hundred sea monsters that comprise Davy Jones' crew. They look like they were put together from leftovers at the sushi bar in hell. And then there's the Krakken. This giant sea monster eats boats like they are boxes of cracker jacks! He does the bidding of Davy Jones who is a CG creation that is stunning to look at with tentacles for a beard. This film still tips it's captain's hat to the ride, which is still fun, but ends so abruptly some might be a tad upset that we are being made to wait until next May to find out what happens! And don't leave until the credits are over. If you do, you'll miss a funny scene. This version of Pirates has everything you want in a summer movie. If you liked the first one, you'll love this one! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is the best of this summer's three-quels. Way overlong, it is too talky and drags in spots. It could have easily shed 45 minutes and been much better. It starts out dull and is only lifted by Johnny Depp's entrance which is imaginative and great. It finally kicks into gear in the last hour and redeems itself. It also features the wildest wedding ever caught on film. It is a very good movie, not as good as the first, mostly on par with the second, and a fitting end to a great trilogy. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Disney - Rated PG-13
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is a film that only needed to be made in the minds of Disney's accountants. OK, and Johnny Depp's accountants. It features rote action that is less than inspired…dare I say unexciting? No, I think the word I am looking for is boring. It goes through the motions in an endless, hacked together, paint by the numbers script, that seems tossed together like so much salad made from all the leftovers in the fridge without the benefit of anything interesting like dressing, lettuce or a bowl. Let's see, we've got man eating mermaids, the fountain of youth, zombies, Blackbeard in a firespitting ship, oh, and Johnny Depp may have appeared here, but I suspect the animatronic of him that is in the Disneyland ride has taken over. Yo Ho-hum. 2 1/2 Stars Out of 5
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie - Universal - Rated G
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie is kind of fun for the very little ones, with music that will keep them bopping in their seats. Adults may be more prone to sleep as the bland Wizard of Oz retread lumbers its way to the obvious conclusion. It's not nearly as good as the last veggie tales movie. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Planet 51 - Sony - Rated PG
Planet 51 has enough material for a reasonably entertaining ten minute short. Unfortunately, it lasts an hour and a half. An American astronaut lands on a planet stuck in the fifties inhabited by aliens with bananas growing from their heads. With unremarkable voice work by stars that are unidentifiable by their voices, and a story that wears thin fast, launch this one into outer space and forget about it. 2 Stars Out of 5
Play the Game - Rated PG-13
Play the Game is a standard romantic comedy that is a bit contrived but fun. It stars a terrific Andy Griffith who is an absolute national treasure. Go see this film just for his funny and unexpected performance. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Please Give - Sony - Rated R
Please Give has a marvelous cast, a great premise, and a mediocre, meandering story. Dry humor abounds in a semi-satisfying comedy where I just wanted them to please give a little more…3 Stars Out of 5
The Polar Express
The Polar Express is magical and amazing. The film captures the look and feel of the book but then does it even better. It is visually stunning, with a plot that keeps moving and is exciting and touching. The Polar Express ranks with the best Christmas films, and is the most spectacular Christmas movie ever made. Whatever you do, don't miss it! It'll make you believe!
5 Stars Out of 5
Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold - Sony - Rated PG-13
Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold is entertaining - in the way a Budweiser commercial is…You don't mind getting sold to if it's fun. And this movie is. But I expected more of an expose on product placement in film and TV. It touches on that, but this not so eye opening movie is all about how it got made. Kind of like a DVD special feature…only that's all there is. Morgan Spurlock is great, but the film is basically a 90 minute commercial. And that I'd rather watch at two in the morning in my pajamas on my couch while drinking a beer and munching on nachos. But wait there's more!…no there's really not. 3 Stars Out of 5
Pooh's Heffalump Movie
Pooh's Heffalump Movie is a pretty good little movie. It's got everything you want in a Pooh film. The great backgrounds, a nice story, it's entertaining, and the kids will love it. Its tolerance theme isn't too heavy handed, and the film's 68 minute run time will please adults, and is short enough for fidgety toddlers to sit through.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Poseidon
In Poseidon the editing is so poorly done, it's hard to tell what's going on. You'd think that for a film that cost 150 million to make they'd at least want you to see what's happening! The special effects for the most part are pretty good, but the characters are just sketchy, and the film overall is heartless. I never really got attached to any of the characters, but I liked Kurt Russell's performance. This Poseidon cost a lot more, but it's not as good as the original. 3 Stars Out of 5
Post Grad - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
Post Grad stars the very cute Alexis Bledel. She is so darn cute and commands the screen with such ease, I wonder why she can't seem to make a decent movie. It has its moments, but has a mediocre script with only a few laughs, despite being packed with an embarrassment of wasted comedic talent including Michael Keaton and Carol Burnett. Everyone associated with the making of this film needs to go back to school. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Potiche - Music Box Films - Rated R
Potiche means "trophy wife" in French, and is the title of the film starring
the suddenly grandmotherly Catharine Deniueve, and the over-inflated Gerard Depardieu in a bland, trite, French comedy that takes place in the seventies and makes feminism a theme. The presence of a lot of dialogue requires much reading of subtitles which takes away from actually viewing the film, although I suspect it wasn't much of a loss. The audience I was with scarcely uttered a peep. No real laughs...just a snicker or two. With a tired script, and one dimensional characters, it seems to say, "I am woman hear me get old." 2 1/2 Stars Out of 5
Powerpuff Girls - The Movie
Another TV show turned movie...It has the bad animation you'd expect... but it has something you might not expect...a smart and funny story, with attitude. I liked it, but it might not be right for the really little ones due to some violence.
3 Stars Out of 5
A Prarie Home Companion
I am baffled by all of the acclaim Robert Altman gets. He's made a few pretty good films, but nothing I've liked since the 80's. Now he gives us A Prairie Home Companion, a rambling, never ending borefest that is sure to induce sleep from even the most strident fans of the radio show that it is based on. It has a few moments of life, but adds a weird subplot about an angel of death, and features a poorly written part poorly acted by Kevin Klein. And here's a hint for film makers who want to feature singing…make sure your stars can sing! Lindsay Lohan can't. And Garrison Keillor truly has a face made for radio. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Precious - Lionsgate - Rated R
I'm less than enthusiastic about Precious. It is a repulsive, hard to watch story of a morbidly obese girl who is repeatedly abused in a number of ways. There are many unlikeable characters all contributing to an uncomfortable film that is ultimately a story about survival. It is very well done, but is almost too painful to watch. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Predators - 20th Century Fox - Rated R
Predators is a very successful reboot of the commando - sci-fi movie series. It's back to basics here with Adrien Brody in the Arnold Schwarzenegger role. Adrien Brody and tough guy don't usually go together but here they do…he's no Arnold, but he's still menacing - in a more cerebral sort of way. And I want to see what more Topher Grace can do - he gives us some glimpses of future greatness here, but can he really be more than his TV persona? And Lawrence Fishburne is flying mammal excrement crazy. He provides the film's fun moments. I want to see more of the bigger, badder aliens. I'm sure I will, in the inevitable sequels.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Premonition
Unintentional laughs abound in Premonition. First there's the ultra confusing mess of a script, as Sandra Bullock sluffs her way through a depressing Groundhog Day. First her husband is alive, then he's dead, then he's alive…I laughed out loud at scene includes an unfortunate accident with her husbands coffin. (Oops! There goes his head!) Another scene that is supposed to frighten but does the opposite involves her daughter's facial stitches. It had me in stitches! Mostly, this is a boring, senseless waste of time that had me wishing I had a premonition about this movie and stayed home.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Prestige
The Prestige is visually amazing, and very entertaining. Performances by the entire cast are very good, and there are enough twists and turns to ensure a lot of fun. My one beef with this film was a semi-unbelievable ending, but the ride to get there is so great I can forgive it. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pride
Pride an inspirational true story about a group of kids in Philadelphia that start a swim team and the coach that inspires them to bigger things. It's a typical sports movie filled with the typical clichés. But, Terrence Howard is absolutely superb and makes this an incredibly watchable movie. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pride and Glory - Warner Brothers - Rated R
Pride and Glory has some fine acting notably from the always great Edward Norton and Jon Voight - his best in years. Colin Farrell however, is a touch over the top. The movie is kind of typical; corrupt cops covering up a crime. Problem is, it is slow and predictable. There is nothing we haven't seen before except for the terrible last 15 minutes which play like a comic "Fight Club" and derail the whole thing. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pride and Prejudice
Pride and Prejudice features a tremendous performance by Kiera Knightley who proves that she indeed can act. I also very much liked Donald Sutherland in his humor filled role as her father. The production for the most part is superb, with magnificent camera work. It is giggly, light and delightful. 4 Stars Out of 5
Priest - Sony - Rated PG-13
Priest is a post-apocalyptic mashup of 1984 and Alien plus any vampire movie you might want to stick in there, and then throw out all the vampire rules. Here, vampires look like bugs, excrete excretions to make their hive, and can infect humans who then grow fangs and can go out in daylight. The church is big brother with priests who are vampire hunters. You know they're priests because they have a big ole' cross tattooed across their faces. And I never got the point of that except to be obvious to audiences who can't figure things like this out. Which I suppose is their target. It's supposedly in 3-D, but I couldn't tell. Everything was too dark to see what was going on. What I could see was bleak, cold, nonsense that was silly and pretentious. Priest is the least beast. It should be ceased. 2 Stars Out of 5
Prime
Prime has one thing going for it. Meryl Streep. She can do anything. She is far and away the best part of this film. She delivers some of the best comedic expressions I have ever seen in a movie. But expressions do not a movie make! It's funny in spots. But it's overlong, not believable and cannot overcome its massive flaws. There are some grand build ups but when we expect the big punch line, it fires blanks. Prime isn't. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Primeval
They should have called Primeval "Attack of the Thirty Foot Croc." Because that's what it is. Its plot and characters have been lifted from Jaws, but this falls into the so bad its funny category. Its unintentional comic moments run fast and furious. But this fails to generate any excitement or suspense, because it's a predictable, stupid movie about a big croc! And that's what it is…a croc…1 Star Out of 5
The Prince and Me
Take Coming to America, and mix it with The Princess Diaries, throw in a dumbed-down, predictable script with lots of stupid moments, and what do you get? The Prince and Me! Here's an example of the stupidity. The Royals in this are supposed to be from Denmark, but they speak with English accents!
2 Stars Out of 5
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - Disney - Rated PG-13
The first thing that jumped out at me in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, is that everyone has English accents - even American Jake Gyllenhaal. There is nary a Persian to be seen. It's pretty much just white people with tans sporting fake English accents…does that make sense to you? 'cause it didn't to me. I mean, isn't it supposed to be Persia? Oh, there are some fun homage's to the games, like when he jumps and swings and then jumps some more. But make no mistake…this is a video game turned movie…those NEVER work…Even at the hands of Jerry Bruckheimer, he turned an amusement park ride into three, soon to be four movies. But this isn't so hot. He manages to get a few explosions in, along with some clichéd slow motion, some bad CGI, some underwhelming, unexciting action, and a cobbled together patchwork plot. Most of the time, it's hard to tell what is going on. Add to that limp direction, deadpan leads, (only Alfred Molina injects a bit of life) and you have…a video game movie, and, all that implies. 2 ½ stars Out of 5
The Princess and the Frog - Disney - Rated G
The Princess and the Frog features glorious hand drawn animation, lively songs, an impeccable voice cast, and a terrific story. I was completely enraptured by Disney's return to the style of movie that made them a film dynasty. A note for parents, there are some scary parts that may be too much for the real little ones to handle. A couple of kids burst into tears at the screening I attended. Thank Disney for their return to real hand drawn animation, a great story and wonderful all around entertainment! This is sure to join many other Disney films as a classic. I loved every frame of it! The Princess and the Frog is a triumph! 5 Stars Out of 5
The Private Lives of Pippa Lee - Sony - Rated R
Robin Wright Penn is very good as the title character in The Private Lives of Pippa Lee. The sprawling film overreaches a touch, handing many of the heavy lifting chores to Blake Lively who plays the young Pippa and drags everything down. This movie might have been better except for the multitude of poor directorial decisions. Lots of stars don't necessarily mean a great film. Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder might be big names, but they don't add a lot of acting heft here. They add the films laughable minutes, making something that should have been private, woefully public. 3 Stars Out of 5
The Producers
The Producers is very very funny. Matthew Broderick and Nahan Lane reprise their roles from the Broadway music with great success. Uma Thurman joins them and is less effective, but Will Ferrel once again steals the show. I laughed a lot. And a word to the wise, don't leave before the credits are through, or you'll miss more fun!
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Prom - Disney - Rated PG
Prom has a standard TV movie plot, stereotypical characters, and is predictable and bland. Melodrama ensues. Boredom results. 2 Stars Out of 5
Prom Night - Screen Gems - Rated PG-13
What happens when you take the slash out of a slasher film? You get Prom Night! It's PG-13, so it's pretty tame and devoid of anything remotely frightening. The most suspense it can work up is, who will be the king and queen of the prom? There are loads of unintentional laugh inducing moments, so it's got that going for it. But the scariest part is when Brittany Snow is hiding under the bed in her hotel room. Did you hear what I just said? She is under the bed in a hotel room! You NEVER do that! Hasn't she watched those shows where they turn on a black light in those rooms? THAT gave me the creeps. 1 Star Out of 5
The Proposal - Touchstone - Rated PG-13
In The Proposal Sandra Bullock is back in form as an icy witch, while Ryan Reynolds is brilliant as the put-upon assistant whose job it becomes to thaw her according to the standard romantic comedy formula. It's The Devil Wears Prada crossed with New in Town, without the flair of the former but also without the condescension and bitterness of the latter. The age difference between the two is weird at first, but they manage to pull it off by the end of the movie. It takes place in Alaska, as a former Alaskan, I was sad to see they got a lot wrong. They show the wrong kind of eagles, and the shooting location Massachusetts doesn't really look like Sitka. But that is a minor point. This is mostly funny, heartwarming, and a return to good movies for Bullock. The proposal is accepted. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Protector
It's a genre we never thought we'd see. The martial arts elephant movie. The Protector is a silly Thai film starring the amazing Tony Jaa as a man who really wants his stolen elephants back and is willing to kick the poop out of anyone who gets in his way. The film is a mishmash of subtitles and bad dubbing, but the action scenes with Tony Jaa are pretty incredible. Disregard the story and watch it for the action. 3 Stars Out of 5
Public Enemies - Universal - Rated R
Public Enemies is a movie that should have been much better than it is. It has a terrific cast, a great soundtrack, and good acting, but it just doesn't quite work. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are both good in their own way. But the movie is VERY long and drags horribly with large lapses in action where not much happens. 45 minutes or so should have been cut out.
It is deeply flawed, but if you can stay awake during the slow parts, it's worth seeing Johnny Depp as a gangster. 3 Stars Out of 5
Pulse
I didn't see the Japanese movie that Pulse is a remake of, but I doubt it was as silly as the American version. In this film, because of a computer virus, ghosts are unleashed into the mortal realm to kill unsuspecting computer users through wireless networks, and cell phone signals. Red duct tape is the only thing that blocks them, but I kept asking why couldn't they just turn the transmitters off? 2 Stars Out of 5
Punch Drunk Love
Punch Drunk Love is offbeat, entertaining, and easily Adam Sandler's best performance ever. He shows us that he is more than the one-note talent that he has demonstrated in his previous movies. Emily Watson is wonderful and makes a perfect match for Sandler's oddball character. The movie itself is obviously low budget, and feels somewhat unfinished, but it gets 4 Stars Out of 5
The Punisher
The Punisher has some incredibly over the top, vicious violence. This is a comic book turned into a movie. But this contains no humor at all. It is reasonably well acted, but is an assault on not only the characters that are receiving the revenge, but on the audience. In one especially squirm-in-your-seat scene, a character that has multiple facial piercings, has them forcibly removed with a pair of pliers. I felt punished by The Punisher. 2 Stars Out of 5
Punisher: War Zone - Lionsgate - Rated RPunisher: War Zone features plenty of mindless carnage. Audiences get treated to the goopy explosion of many human heads. But wait, there's more! There's hideous acting, stupid, fake looking make up, and hilariously bad dialogue. Plus, this stinker looks like a cartoon. I expected Wile E Coyote to turn up any minute! After it was over, I figured out that the title is a warning - The Punisher's not just punishing criminals, he's punishing the audience. 1 Star Out of 5
Pursuit of Happyness
There is not much new in The Pursuit of Happyness. It's a true rags to riches story but that's been done over and over again. What makes this film a cut above the rest is an amazing Will Smith. He makes this a way above average touching and inspirational film. I really felt his emotions and I enjoyed seeing him act against his real life son. He makes this one of the year's best! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Push - Summit Entertainment - Rated PG-13
Here's the recipe for Push. Take the TV show Heroes, the movies Jumper, and X-Men, roll 'em all together with any C grade Hong Kong action flick, borrowing heavily from each, chop, slice and dice, add a drunk Dakota Fanning, and half-bake it. Then speed-edit it all together to make charmless, boring, confusing, convoluted nonsense. Swallow…a while later, Push…and this movie comes out. 2 Stars Out of 5
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P2 - Summit Entertainment - Rated R
P2 refers to the floor number in the parking garage where a woman is tormented by an obsessed psycho. This is standard stuff, and there's nothing new in the story. The bad guy isn't convincing or menacing enough and is just a bad enough actor that you want to laugh at him rather than be scared by him. The audience was literally heckling the screen and laughing. That was much more entertaining than this silly mess. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
P.S.
Laura Linney really shows off her acting chops in P.S., a film that is filled with good performances. She is terrific as a university recruiter having a midlife crisis. She finds solace in a young man who might be a reincarnation of her high school flame. I liked this very interesting and engaging film.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Pacifier
If you are already a fan of Vin Diesel, you might like The Pacifier. But this is a kids film. It plays like a bland TV movie, and the diaper jokes come fast and furious. There aren't any real belly laughs here. It's just all kind of syrupy. Vin Diesel looks lost most of the time as he tries to figure out this comedy stuff. I heard him say in an interview he wanted to do a musical, but in this movie he sings…and he'd better go back to blowing stuff up.
2 Stars Out of 5
Pandorum - Overture Films - Rated R
In Pandorum, the audience is immediately thrust into the unknown. We are at once disoriented which proves unsettling, and ultimately adds to the horror. Reminiscent of Alien in feel, it is tense with lots of jumps. Deftly crafted with expert direction, this freaky, slimy, gritty sci-fi horror film is one of the best horror films so far this year. 4 Stars Out of 5
Pan's Labyrinth
Wildly imaginative and very dark, Pan's Labyrinth is rightly called a fairy tail for adults. It has many disturbing scenes that are far too intense for children. I loved it! The special effects are great and the creatures are extraordinary. But it's the story that really grabbed me. This is a terrific movie! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paparazzi
Sure, Paparazzi's cheesy, but it appealed to a certain base side of me. The characters are all over the top, the acting is for the most part, bad, Dennis Farina does his best Columbo impersonation, and the story has way too many holes in it to be believable. I shouldn't have, but in the end, I liked it.
3 Stars Out of 5
Paper Heart - Overture Films - Rated PG-13
In Paper Heart, Charlyne Yi stars in a mockumentary about her quest to find real love. The movie suffers greatly in that she has almost no personality. As a result, we care little about her or what she thinks. Shred this one. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paranormal Activity - Paramount - Rated R
Paranormal Activity was shot on video for a reported $15,000, but manages to keep us interested with a very good buildup while it explores what goes bump in the night. It's not the scariest movie I've ever seen, but it has a great premise, and the end's a zinger! 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paranormal Activity 2 - Paramount - Rated R
In Paranormal Activity 2 a pan falls and you know it must be something more than a faulty hook. A kid's toy starts running, and the switch isn't broken. A door opens and then closes…ooh…The surveillance cameras also record every bit of mundane, meaningless drivel, but we never really see what is going on. At the end of the movie, we are left wondering. This is a prequel to the first, with two characters returning. This time there are more loud noises, and a few more actual scares, but this is pretty much a carbon copy of the first. Problem is, this time we know it's fake. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Paris - Sony - Rated R
Paris, now at The Flicks, gives a glimpse into one of the world's great cities - warts and all. The entire cast is superb, but Juliette Binoche is especially great. With interesting, interwoven stories. It's a kind of a love letter to Paris. 3 Stars Out of 5
The Passion of the Christ
The Passion of the Christ is the film that some are calling lurid, and nearly pornographic in it's violence. Some have been calling it anti-Semitic. Everybody wants to know what it is like. So let me try to answer some questions for you. This film deals only with the last 12 hours of Jesus Christ's life on the day of his crucifixion in Jerusalem. It stars Jim Caviezel, and Monica Bellucci and was directed and co-written by Mel Gibson.
Is it lurid? No, but it is brutal. It is graphic. It is bloody. It will make you wince. Some in the audience were crying. You can almost feel the pain and torture that Jesus went through in the last 12 hours of his life. But I don't think that is a bad thing. It is certainly not pornographic. Is it anti-Semitic? I don't think it is at all anti-Semitic. It shows those that killed Jesus as pawns of the devil. And now the big question, Is it good? Yes, it is the best religious film I've ever seen. Mel Gibson is a gifted film maker. I am glad he stuck to his guns and released this film. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pathfinder
Note to the producers of Pathfinder. When you want to make a movie about hacking off heads you should at least be able to afford enough lighting so the audience can see it. Oh, and some dialogue that doesn't cause the audience to howl with laughter would be nice. And your story should be coherent. That might be asking too much. It would probably also be good to hire an actor instead of an underwear model for your lead.
1 Star Out of 5
Paul - Universal - Rated R
For all of its comic pedigree, Paul is a bit of a disappointment. The writers and stars of Shaun of the Dead collaborating with the director of Superbad seem to be a match made in heaven, but the film has less than spectacular results. And casting Seth Rogen as the voice of the alien was a mistake. He's too recognizable. There is some inventive cussing and plenty of fanboy in-jokes, but some will take exception to the film's treatment of faith, and those who practice it. My beef with the film is it's not the rollicking comedy it should be, but it is funny in parts. Since Paul was released the same week as St. Patrick's Day, I decided to write a limerick in its honor…
There once was an alien named Paul
Whose height was a little bit small
He smoked a little pot
But it wasn't so hot
And the film hit a bit of a wall. 3 Stars Out of 5
Paul Blart: Mall Cop - Sony Rated PG
Paul Blart: Mall Cop stars Kevin James, who co-wrote it. While he can be very funny as an actor, he's not so funny as a writer. This movie is one long, blubbery, worn-out fat joke. It's also demeaning, embarrassing, and made me engage in the longest cringe of my life. 90 minutes. The length of the film. So much so, blart is my new word for cringe. It made me blart. It made me blart so much, people were looking at me. Even after the film, I blarted in the lobby. Even now I can barely contain the urge to blart right here! Excuse me, I blarted. 2 stars Out of 5
Peaceful Warrior
Peaceful Warrior is really just a kind of Zen Karate Kid knock off. But this time Nick Nolte is the Mr Miagi character. He plays a gas station attendant that trains a gymnast. I expected him to do the whole wax on, wax off thing and he just about did. But his thing was "take out the trash." They forgot to do that with this movie. 2 Stars Out of 5
Penelope - Summit entertainment - Rated PG
Penelope has its heart in the right place but is flawed. It is told in a too broad farcical style with painfully whimsical music to clue us that a comic moment is about to occur, and script problems abound. The major fault is, even with a pig nose, Christina Ricci's still beautiful. So when her potential suitors run away screaming and breaking through windows to escape her supposedly hideous face, it's ridiculous. The film has a nice message, but many thinking viewers will have tuned out by the time it gets there. 3 Stars Out of 5
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: Lightening Thief - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Every second of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightening Thief screams, "Hey! I wanna be Harry Potter!" The problem with that is, it isn't even close. This is an interesting concept, but is so poorly executed that no one cares. This has a bland, forgettable cast of kids in the lead roles. Pierce Brosnan is wearing the back end of a horse, and Uma Thurman has a snake nest for a hairdo, but the CGI effects that attach those various appendages aren't very convincing as the actors wobble around in them. There are moments when this film almost has a pulse, but they are too fleeting to lift this above blah wannabe. Who is the lightning thief? I don't care. 2 Stars Out of 5
The Perfect Holiday - Yari Film Group - Rated PG
In The Perfect Holiday, former Academy Award nominee Terrence Howard looks stoned, and he must have been, as we actually see him say he has to "go dookie." while Queen Latifah is well, just plain irritating. Charlie Murphy plays a rapper with the unfortunate name of J-Jizzy who has songs like I love the ho ho hos. Yes, the holiday spirit is totally absent in this horribly directed, abysmal, stale fruitcake, waste of film. The Perfect Holiday? Not so much. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Perfect Score
The Perfect Score is a movie about taking cheating to a new level. It doesn't take film making to a new level, it just does what has been done dozens of times before. It's kind of like The Breakfast Club without the originality and charm. But I do have to mention Leonardo Nam who steals the movie with his very amusing stoner character.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Perfect Stranger
Perfect Stranger starts out OK, but the story falls apart in the last third of the movie and then gets completely ridiculous by the ending. Halle Berry is as usual, gorgeous, but Bruce Willis doesn't move from the lips up. You just can't get those botox treatments too close to your shooting days! It's a stupid move and a stupid movie. 2 Stars Out of 5
Persepolis - Sony Pictures Classics - Rated PG-13
Not for kids, Persepolis tells the bleak story of the Islamic takeover of Iran and the loss of freedom that ensued. It is stark and political, with stylized black and white animation that is somewhat lacking. But the story is one the world needs to see. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Phone Booth
Phone Booth feels a bit contrived. Collin Farrell and Forrest Whittaker are the stars here, with Kiefer Sutherland as the voice of the bad guy sounding strange, manipulated, and not real believable. The rest of the cast including Katie Holmes is wasted. This ends up being unsatisfying and contrived.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Pianist
The Pianist is a brilliant, moving piece of film making. Based on a true story, you really feel the isolation and fear of the main characters as they try to avoid the Nazi occupation of Warsaw during World War Two…Adrien Brody is spectacular in the lead role of Wladyslaw Szpilman, and is deserving of an Oscar Nomination.
5 Stars Out of 5
Pieces of April
Pieces of April is a quirky, fun movie about a young woman, played by Katie Holmes, who has had a rocky relationship with her parents, but invites them to thanksgiving dinner. She has never prepared one before, and her oven stops working, so she enlists the neighbors help. He mother, played by Oscar Nominated Patricia Clarkson is dying of cancer, and provides the films very best moments. I loved this movie, and Patricia Clarkson deserves her Oscar nomination. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Piglet's Big Movie
This follows the same flashback formula that most of the recent Disney sequels have used to tie three short stories together. Not a lot here for adults, but the younger kids will find inspiration in the film's "you can do big things even if you're little" theme.
3 Stars Out of 5
Pineapple Express - Sony - Rated R
Make no mistake, Pineapple Express is a dope movie. While it is very pot-fueled, it is also very funny. Hearkening back to 80's action comedies, it is bloody and violent with tons of action and even more laughs. In other films he seems uncomfortable, but James Franco is right in his element here and is great. Seth Rogen is very funny and the terrific Danny R. McBride steals most of the scenes he's in. This is a stoner film that you don't have to be stoned to enjoy. 4 Stars Out of 5
The Pink Panther
In The Pink Panther, Steve Martin makes a good effort but ultimately fails to recreate the magic that Peter Sellers had with the original Pink Panther films. There are a few laughs, but most of them were seen in the trailer. There is only one actor that will be forever identified with Inspector Clouseau and Steve Martin is not him. 2 Stars Out of 5
Pink Panther 2 - Sony - Rated PG
Why was Pink Panther 2 made? One reason, pure and simple, for a payday. While there are one or two sparks of fun lasting all of about 45 seconds total, this predictable mishmash features mostly tired slapstick, and 95% boredom. Although there is some unintentional humor with the too-obvious stunt doubles for Steve Martin wearinga their silly white wigs. Watching this, I thought "What a waste." Or maybe it IS waste. I know! Let's call it Pink Panther NUMBER 2. 2 Stars Out of 5
Piranha 3-D - Dimension Films - Rated R
Piranha 3-D knows exactly what it wants to be and unapologetically does that to a T. This is a throwback to the 70's horror film that inspired it. Loads of skin and loads of gore highlighted by an over the top sense of humor that takes no prisoners. Jerry O'Connell is great as a Joe Francis Girls Gone Wild like character who gets a certain part of his anatomy removed by the hungry fish. This is an orgy of depravity. It's terrible, but I loved it. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pirate Radio - Focus Features - Rated R
Pirate Radio is a story about the romance we used to have with radio. Subversive, funny, and fantastic, with a perfectly delightful ensemble cast, it plays fast and loose with the facts, about English pirate radio ships in the 60's, but is a lot of fun. It made me long for the days where the music was what mattered. 4 Stars Out of 5
Pirates of the Caribbean
Pirates of the Caribbean is swashbuckling good fun with a rousing performance by Johnny Depp playing the somewhat off kilter Captain Jack Sparrow. He's the best he's ever been in any movie. My only beef with the film is the makeup artist put a little too much eye makeup on him. The film would even be great without him. There is lots of action, lots of laughs and undead skeleton pirates, one of whom keeps losing his artificial eye in a very funny running joke. It also honors the Disneyland ride with several references which fans (like me) will love.4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is more action packed, more fun and scarier than the first film. Johnny Depp's Captain Jack is back along with Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley. Once again it's Depp that steals the movie which in this case is hard to do, considering he has to compete with about a hundred sea monsters that comprise Davy Jones' crew. They look like they were put together from leftovers at the sushi bar in hell. And then there's the Krakken. This giant sea monster eats boats like they are boxes of cracker jacks! He does the bidding of Davy Jones who is a CG creation that is stunning to look at with tentacles for a beard. This film still tips it's captain's hat to the ride, which is still fun, but ends so abruptly some might be a tad upset that we are being made to wait until next May to find out what happens! And don't leave until the credits are over. If you do, you'll miss a funny scene. This version of Pirates has everything you want in a summer movie. If you liked the first one, you'll love this one! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is the best of this summer's three-quels. Way overlong, it is too talky and drags in spots. It could have easily shed 45 minutes and been much better. It starts out dull and is only lifted by Johnny Depp's entrance which is imaginative and great. It finally kicks into gear in the last hour and redeems itself. It also features the wildest wedding ever caught on film. It is a very good movie, not as good as the first, mostly on par with the second, and a fitting end to a great trilogy. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Disney - Rated PG-13
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is a film that only needed to be made in the minds of Disney's accountants. OK, and Johnny Depp's accountants. It features rote action that is less than inspired…dare I say unexciting? No, I think the word I am looking for is boring. It goes through the motions in an endless, hacked together, paint by the numbers script, that seems tossed together like so much salad made from all the leftovers in the fridge without the benefit of anything interesting like dressing, lettuce or a bowl. Let's see, we've got man eating mermaids, the fountain of youth, zombies, Blackbeard in a firespitting ship, oh, and Johnny Depp may have appeared here, but I suspect the animatronic of him that is in the Disneyland ride has taken over. Yo Ho-hum. 2 1/2 Stars Out of 5
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie - Universal - Rated G
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie is kind of fun for the very little ones, with music that will keep them bopping in their seats. Adults may be more prone to sleep as the bland Wizard of Oz retread lumbers its way to the obvious conclusion. It's not nearly as good as the last veggie tales movie. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Planet 51 - Sony - Rated PG
Planet 51 has enough material for a reasonably entertaining ten minute short. Unfortunately, it lasts an hour and a half. An American astronaut lands on a planet stuck in the fifties inhabited by aliens with bananas growing from their heads. With unremarkable voice work by stars that are unidentifiable by their voices, and a story that wears thin fast, launch this one into outer space and forget about it. 2 Stars Out of 5
Play the Game - Rated PG-13
Play the Game is a standard romantic comedy that is a bit contrived but fun. It stars a terrific Andy Griffith who is an absolute national treasure. Go see this film just for his funny and unexpected performance. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Please Give - Sony - Rated R
Please Give has a marvelous cast, a great premise, and a mediocre, meandering story. Dry humor abounds in a semi-satisfying comedy where I just wanted them to please give a little more…3 Stars Out of 5
The Polar Express
The Polar Express is magical and amazing. The film captures the look and feel of the book but then does it even better. It is visually stunning, with a plot that keeps moving and is exciting and touching. The Polar Express ranks with the best Christmas films, and is the most spectacular Christmas movie ever made. Whatever you do, don't miss it! It'll make you believe!
5 Stars Out of 5
Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold - Sony - Rated PG-13
Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold is entertaining - in the way a Budweiser commercial is…You don't mind getting sold to if it's fun. And this movie is. But I expected more of an expose on product placement in film and TV. It touches on that, but this not so eye opening movie is all about how it got made. Kind of like a DVD special feature…only that's all there is. Morgan Spurlock is great, but the film is basically a 90 minute commercial. And that I'd rather watch at two in the morning in my pajamas on my couch while drinking a beer and munching on nachos. But wait there's more!…no there's really not. 3 Stars Out of 5
Pooh's Heffalump Movie
Pooh's Heffalump Movie is a pretty good little movie. It's got everything you want in a Pooh film. The great backgrounds, a nice story, it's entertaining, and the kids will love it. Its tolerance theme isn't too heavy handed, and the film's 68 minute run time will please adults, and is short enough for fidgety toddlers to sit through.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Poseidon
In Poseidon the editing is so poorly done, it's hard to tell what's going on. You'd think that for a film that cost 150 million to make they'd at least want you to see what's happening! The special effects for the most part are pretty good, but the characters are just sketchy, and the film overall is heartless. I never really got attached to any of the characters, but I liked Kurt Russell's performance. This Poseidon cost a lot more, but it's not as good as the original. 3 Stars Out of 5
Post Grad - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
Post Grad stars the very cute Alexis Bledel. She is so darn cute and commands the screen with such ease, I wonder why she can't seem to make a decent movie. It has its moments, but has a mediocre script with only a few laughs, despite being packed with an embarrassment of wasted comedic talent including Michael Keaton and Carol Burnett. Everyone associated with the making of this film needs to go back to school. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Potiche - Music Box Films - Rated R
Potiche means "trophy wife" in French, and is the title of the film starring
the suddenly grandmotherly Catharine Deniueve, and the over-inflated Gerard Depardieu in a bland, trite, French comedy that takes place in the seventies and makes feminism a theme. The presence of a lot of dialogue requires much reading of subtitles which takes away from actually viewing the film, although I suspect it wasn't much of a loss. The audience I was with scarcely uttered a peep. No real laughs...just a snicker or two. With a tired script, and one dimensional characters, it seems to say, "I am woman hear me get old." 2 1/2 Stars Out of 5
Powerpuff Girls - The Movie
Another TV show turned movie...It has the bad animation you'd expect... but it has something you might not expect...a smart and funny story, with attitude. I liked it, but it might not be right for the really little ones due to some violence.
3 Stars Out of 5
A Prarie Home Companion
I am baffled by all of the acclaim Robert Altman gets. He's made a few pretty good films, but nothing I've liked since the 80's. Now he gives us A Prairie Home Companion, a rambling, never ending borefest that is sure to induce sleep from even the most strident fans of the radio show that it is based on. It has a few moments of life, but adds a weird subplot about an angel of death, and features a poorly written part poorly acted by Kevin Klein. And here's a hint for film makers who want to feature singing…make sure your stars can sing! Lindsay Lohan can't. And Garrison Keillor truly has a face made for radio. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Precious - Lionsgate - Rated R
I'm less than enthusiastic about Precious. It is a repulsive, hard to watch story of a morbidly obese girl who is repeatedly abused in a number of ways. There are many unlikeable characters all contributing to an uncomfortable film that is ultimately a story about survival. It is very well done, but is almost too painful to watch. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Predators - 20th Century Fox - Rated R
Predators is a very successful reboot of the commando - sci-fi movie series. It's back to basics here with Adrien Brody in the Arnold Schwarzenegger role. Adrien Brody and tough guy don't usually go together but here they do…he's no Arnold, but he's still menacing - in a more cerebral sort of way. And I want to see what more Topher Grace can do - he gives us some glimpses of future greatness here, but can he really be more than his TV persona? And Lawrence Fishburne is flying mammal excrement crazy. He provides the film's fun moments. I want to see more of the bigger, badder aliens. I'm sure I will, in the inevitable sequels.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Premonition
Unintentional laughs abound in Premonition. First there's the ultra confusing mess of a script, as Sandra Bullock sluffs her way through a depressing Groundhog Day. First her husband is alive, then he's dead, then he's alive…I laughed out loud at scene includes an unfortunate accident with her husbands coffin. (Oops! There goes his head!) Another scene that is supposed to frighten but does the opposite involves her daughter's facial stitches. It had me in stitches! Mostly, this is a boring, senseless waste of time that had me wishing I had a premonition about this movie and stayed home.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Prestige
The Prestige is visually amazing, and very entertaining. Performances by the entire cast are very good, and there are enough twists and turns to ensure a lot of fun. My one beef with this film was a semi-unbelievable ending, but the ride to get there is so great I can forgive it. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pride
Pride an inspirational true story about a group of kids in Philadelphia that start a swim team and the coach that inspires them to bigger things. It's a typical sports movie filled with the typical clichés. But, Terrence Howard is absolutely superb and makes this an incredibly watchable movie. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pride and Glory - Warner Brothers - Rated R
Pride and Glory has some fine acting notably from the always great Edward Norton and Jon Voight - his best in years. Colin Farrell however, is a touch over the top. The movie is kind of typical; corrupt cops covering up a crime. Problem is, it is slow and predictable. There is nothing we haven't seen before except for the terrible last 15 minutes which play like a comic "Fight Club" and derail the whole thing. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Pride and Prejudice
Pride and Prejudice features a tremendous performance by Kiera Knightley who proves that she indeed can act. I also very much liked Donald Sutherland in his humor filled role as her father. The production for the most part is superb, with magnificent camera work. It is giggly, light and delightful. 4 Stars Out of 5
Priest - Sony - Rated PG-13
Priest is a post-apocalyptic mashup of 1984 and Alien plus any vampire movie you might want to stick in there, and then throw out all the vampire rules. Here, vampires look like bugs, excrete excretions to make their hive, and can infect humans who then grow fangs and can go out in daylight. The church is big brother with priests who are vampire hunters. You know they're priests because they have a big ole' cross tattooed across their faces. And I never got the point of that except to be obvious to audiences who can't figure things like this out. Which I suppose is their target. It's supposedly in 3-D, but I couldn't tell. Everything was too dark to see what was going on. What I could see was bleak, cold, nonsense that was silly and pretentious. Priest is the least beast. It should be ceased. 2 Stars Out of 5
Prime
Prime has one thing going for it. Meryl Streep. She can do anything. She is far and away the best part of this film. She delivers some of the best comedic expressions I have ever seen in a movie. But expressions do not a movie make! It's funny in spots. But it's overlong, not believable and cannot overcome its massive flaws. There are some grand build ups but when we expect the big punch line, it fires blanks. Prime isn't. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Primeval
They should have called Primeval "Attack of the Thirty Foot Croc." Because that's what it is. Its plot and characters have been lifted from Jaws, but this falls into the so bad its funny category. Its unintentional comic moments run fast and furious. But this fails to generate any excitement or suspense, because it's a predictable, stupid movie about a big croc! And that's what it is…a croc…1 Star Out of 5
The Prince and Me
Take Coming to America, and mix it with The Princess Diaries, throw in a dumbed-down, predictable script with lots of stupid moments, and what do you get? The Prince and Me! Here's an example of the stupidity. The Royals in this are supposed to be from Denmark, but they speak with English accents!
2 Stars Out of 5
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - Disney - Rated PG-13
The first thing that jumped out at me in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, is that everyone has English accents - even American Jake Gyllenhaal. There is nary a Persian to be seen. It's pretty much just white people with tans sporting fake English accents…does that make sense to you? 'cause it didn't to me. I mean, isn't it supposed to be Persia? Oh, there are some fun homage's to the games, like when he jumps and swings and then jumps some more. But make no mistake…this is a video game turned movie…those NEVER work…Even at the hands of Jerry Bruckheimer, he turned an amusement park ride into three, soon to be four movies. But this isn't so hot. He manages to get a few explosions in, along with some clichéd slow motion, some bad CGI, some underwhelming, unexciting action, and a cobbled together patchwork plot. Most of the time, it's hard to tell what is going on. Add to that limp direction, deadpan leads, (only Alfred Molina injects a bit of life) and you have…a video game movie, and, all that implies. 2 ½ stars Out of 5
The Princess and the Frog - Disney - Rated G
The Princess and the Frog features glorious hand drawn animation, lively songs, an impeccable voice cast, and a terrific story. I was completely enraptured by Disney's return to the style of movie that made them a film dynasty. A note for parents, there are some scary parts that may be too much for the real little ones to handle. A couple of kids burst into tears at the screening I attended. Thank Disney for their return to real hand drawn animation, a great story and wonderful all around entertainment! This is sure to join many other Disney films as a classic. I loved every frame of it! The Princess and the Frog is a triumph! 5 Stars Out of 5
The Private Lives of Pippa Lee - Sony - Rated R
Robin Wright Penn is very good as the title character in The Private Lives of Pippa Lee. The sprawling film overreaches a touch, handing many of the heavy lifting chores to Blake Lively who plays the young Pippa and drags everything down. This movie might have been better except for the multitude of poor directorial decisions. Lots of stars don't necessarily mean a great film. Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder might be big names, but they don't add a lot of acting heft here. They add the films laughable minutes, making something that should have been private, woefully public. 3 Stars Out of 5
The Producers
The Producers is very very funny. Matthew Broderick and Nahan Lane reprise their roles from the Broadway music with great success. Uma Thurman joins them and is less effective, but Will Ferrel once again steals the show. I laughed a lot. And a word to the wise, don't leave before the credits are through, or you'll miss more fun!
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Prom - Disney - Rated PG
Prom has a standard TV movie plot, stereotypical characters, and is predictable and bland. Melodrama ensues. Boredom results. 2 Stars Out of 5
Prom Night - Screen Gems - Rated PG-13
What happens when you take the slash out of a slasher film? You get Prom Night! It's PG-13, so it's pretty tame and devoid of anything remotely frightening. The most suspense it can work up is, who will be the king and queen of the prom? There are loads of unintentional laugh inducing moments, so it's got that going for it. But the scariest part is when Brittany Snow is hiding under the bed in her hotel room. Did you hear what I just said? She is under the bed in a hotel room! You NEVER do that! Hasn't she watched those shows where they turn on a black light in those rooms? THAT gave me the creeps. 1 Star Out of 5
The Proposal - Touchstone - Rated PG-13
In The Proposal Sandra Bullock is back in form as an icy witch, while Ryan Reynolds is brilliant as the put-upon assistant whose job it becomes to thaw her according to the standard romantic comedy formula. It's The Devil Wears Prada crossed with New in Town, without the flair of the former but also without the condescension and bitterness of the latter. The age difference between the two is weird at first, but they manage to pull it off by the end of the movie. It takes place in Alaska, as a former Alaskan, I was sad to see they got a lot wrong. They show the wrong kind of eagles, and the shooting location Massachusetts doesn't really look like Sitka. But that is a minor point. This is mostly funny, heartwarming, and a return to good movies for Bullock. The proposal is accepted. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Protector
It's a genre we never thought we'd see. The martial arts elephant movie. The Protector is a silly Thai film starring the amazing Tony Jaa as a man who really wants his stolen elephants back and is willing to kick the poop out of anyone who gets in his way. The film is a mishmash of subtitles and bad dubbing, but the action scenes with Tony Jaa are pretty incredible. Disregard the story and watch it for the action. 3 Stars Out of 5
Public Enemies - Universal - Rated R
Public Enemies is a movie that should have been much better than it is. It has a terrific cast, a great soundtrack, and good acting, but it just doesn't quite work. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are both good in their own way. But the movie is VERY long and drags horribly with large lapses in action where not much happens. 45 minutes or so should have been cut out.
It is deeply flawed, but if you can stay awake during the slow parts, it's worth seeing Johnny Depp as a gangster. 3 Stars Out of 5
Pulse
I didn't see the Japanese movie that Pulse is a remake of, but I doubt it was as silly as the American version. In this film, because of a computer virus, ghosts are unleashed into the mortal realm to kill unsuspecting computer users through wireless networks, and cell phone signals. Red duct tape is the only thing that blocks them, but I kept asking why couldn't they just turn the transmitters off? 2 Stars Out of 5
Punch Drunk Love
Punch Drunk Love is offbeat, entertaining, and easily Adam Sandler's best performance ever. He shows us that he is more than the one-note talent that he has demonstrated in his previous movies. Emily Watson is wonderful and makes a perfect match for Sandler's oddball character. The movie itself is obviously low budget, and feels somewhat unfinished, but it gets 4 Stars Out of 5
The Punisher
The Punisher has some incredibly over the top, vicious violence. This is a comic book turned into a movie. But this contains no humor at all. It is reasonably well acted, but is an assault on not only the characters that are receiving the revenge, but on the audience. In one especially squirm-in-your-seat scene, a character that has multiple facial piercings, has them forcibly removed with a pair of pliers. I felt punished by The Punisher. 2 Stars Out of 5
Punisher: War Zone - Lionsgate - Rated RPunisher: War Zone features plenty of mindless carnage. Audiences get treated to the goopy explosion of many human heads. But wait, there's more! There's hideous acting, stupid, fake looking make up, and hilariously bad dialogue. Plus, this stinker looks like a cartoon. I expected Wile E Coyote to turn up any minute! After it was over, I figured out that the title is a warning - The Punisher's not just punishing criminals, he's punishing the audience. 1 Star Out of 5
Pursuit of Happyness
There is not much new in The Pursuit of Happyness. It's a true rags to riches story but that's been done over and over again. What makes this film a cut above the rest is an amazing Will Smith. He makes this a way above average touching and inspirational film. I really felt his emotions and I enjoyed seeing him act against his real life son. He makes this one of the year's best! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Push - Summit Entertainment - Rated PG-13
Here's the recipe for Push. Take the TV show Heroes, the movies Jumper, and X-Men, roll 'em all together with any C grade Hong Kong action flick, borrowing heavily from each, chop, slice and dice, add a drunk Dakota Fanning, and half-bake it. Then speed-edit it all together to make charmless, boring, confusing, convoluted nonsense. Swallow…a while later, Push…and this movie comes out. 2 Stars Out of 5
