Movie Review
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The Machinist
Christian Bale is astounding in The Machinist. He lost 60 pounds for his role as a man who hasn't slept in a year and has a dark secret. His is clearly one of the best performances of the year. The look and feel of the film are pitch perfect. It's pretty creepy and will have you guessing until the end. And this film sticks with you.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
MacGruber - Rogue Pictures - Rated R
Saturday Night Live skits turned into movies are seldom great, or good even. This time, it is reprehensible. From the director of the massively unfunny Land of the Lost, comes the even more unfunny MacGruber. In MacGruber, Will Forte is so over the top and so unlikeable - loathsome even, that the audience hates him from the opening frames. It is never a good thing for the audience to hate the main character. This laugh free bomb's idea of fun is desecrating a corpse. But we do get to see Forte's hind end so often I began to think it was his face! At one point Forte says, "I don't know what I'm doing and everybody hates me." Yep. 1 Star Out of 5
Mad Money - Overture Films - Rated PG-13
Even with its all-star cast, Mad Money is unappealing in just about every way. Diane Keaton's performance is downright grating, while Katie Holmes is artificial and fake. Queen Latifah rescues things somewhat, but this lame, tedious, bland, and unfunny film is a waste of time and yes, money. The producers managed to include lots of product placement, so they'll make some money, but for us, Mad Money is not even worth chump change. 2 Stars Out of 5
Madagascar
Madagascar is a bland watered down family movie that will have adults snoozing and kids wishing they had stayed home and watched Shrek on DVD. It doesn't feel like a movie with a cohesive storyline, but a series of gags strung together, and half of them fall flat. Ben Stiller doesn't make a very good lion while the show is stolen by a relative unknown playing the king of the lemurs. The 83 minute run time seems like years, and the retro style of the computer generated animation makes this seem like it should have been hand drawn.
2 stars Out of 5
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - Dreamworks - Rated PG
It's a rare sequel that's better than the original. I wasn't a big fan of Madagascar, but I was pleasantly surprised by Madagascar Escape 2 Africa. While it does borrow heavily from The Lion King, this has much more for parents than the original while keeping the kids entertained too. It's funny, with the zingers coming fast and furious. Once again, the penguins steal the show but this time the filmmakers spread the comedy wealth around, even giving some good gags to Ben Stiller. It looks better than its predecessor, but still isn't in the Pixar big leagues. 3 Stars Out of 5
Made of Honor - Sony - Rated PG-13Made of Honor is like what the bride wears at her wedding…Something old…the old predictable formula has been done many times before. Something new…well, nothing new here unless you count Patrick Dempsey wearing a mini kilt as something new. Something borrowed…the idea - from about a dozen other chick-flicks…something blue…the writers of My Best Friend's Wedding are blue because someone stole their script. Despite all that, both Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan are so appealing and perfect for this film, they make this an above average chick flick, and a pretty good date movie. (Except for the mini-kilt part. That was more like Made of Horror.) 3 Stars Out of 5
Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion
Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reuinion pretty much sticks to the formula of his first movie, Diary of a Mad Black Woman. But I liked this one better. Maybe I'm just initiated now. It's often very funny when Madea or her gassy brother, Uncle Joe are on screen. When they're not, the film gets very serious, dealing with abuse in several different ways, and often playing like a soap opera. It's also preachy, and features a silly plot contrivance at the end. But there's enough laughs in the film to forgive its occasional too-serious moments. 3 Stars Out of 5
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail - Lionsgate - Rated PG-13
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail uses the same old Tyler Perry formula; overblown melodrama with slapstick farce and lots of overacting. Tyler Perry must watch a lot of daytime TV. The film features a plot that seems borrowed from a soap opera, and several daytime TV stars appear: Dr Phil, Judge Mathis and the women from The View. Like the View, Madea is best taken in small doses and Perry agrees as she's only in about a third of the movie. The rest of the film relies on an unrelated love triangle about a lawyer, his lawyer fiancé and a hooker played by former Cosby kid Keisha Knight Pulliam. What can you say about a film when the outtakes from Dr. Phil are the highlight? Lock it up and throw away the key. 2 Stars Out of 5
Maid In Manhattan
Jennifer Lopez might be Jenny on the Block, but in this movie she's Cinderella from the projects. This is pure formula romance fluff. But it is a bit of a stretch to believe that Ralph Fiennes and J-Lo could really hook up. A perfect date movie sure to be a big hit this year and forgotten next year.
3 Stars Out of 5
Malibu's Most Wanted
This ends up being a one-joke movie that starts out funny... Jamie Kennedy expands on a character from his TV show who's name is Brad, but he calls himself B-Rad. He has a CD called Malibootay, his shrink says he has a malady known as Gangstaphrenia…but about half way through, this runs out of steam, out of jokes, and wears out it's welcome.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mamma Mia - Universal - Rated PG-13
It's been said that karaoke is like singing, only worse. Mamma Mia is like a karaoke party at Meryl Streep's house, and she's only got Abba songs. With a paper thin plot that seems cobbled together, the songs don't really fit - they feel forced into their various positions just because it's time for a song, and there are only Abba songs to choose from. While the acting performances were passable, the singing wasn't. Pierce Brosnan's voice sounds like a broken foghorn, and it's sad to see Streep try so hard but just not quite make it. That's mostly from cheesy, poor direction. The film is done in a very broad style with numerous uncomfortable seat squirming moments. It tries to be exuberant but comes off forced and desperate. Mamma Mia is like a musical, only worse. 2 stars Out of 5
The Man
The Man wastes the talents of Eugene Levy and Samuel L. Jackson in a run of the mill buddy cop comedy that's been done a hundred times before. The two stars are playing basic characters that they've done before. And, the jokes in this aren't very funny unless you find flatulence in a car, and again in an elevator funny. There are a couple of small laughs, but this is a worn out retread of a movie with recycled jokes, recycled characters and a bad smell. 2 Stars Out of 5.
A Man Apart
In A Man Apart Vin Diesel gets to squish his face around in a lot of ways, including a really "touching" moment when after beating a guy to a pulp, he gently wipes the blood off of his wedding ring. Charles Bronson did this movie better…it was called "Death Wish."
2 Stars Out of 5
Man of The House
I wonder what Tommy Lee Jones was thinking when he not only starred in but produced Man of The House. You've already seen the funny parts in the previews. The only redeeming feature of the film is its stars, and that wears thin after 30 minutes. It's entirely forgettable and will soon be in the 99 cent bin at the Supercenter.
2 Stars Out of 5
Man of the Year
Robin Williams is wasted and a good idea gets squandered in Man of the Year. It might have been interesting to see a film about a comedian becoming president. That's not what this is about. This is a comedic romantic thriller that's not very funny, romantic or thrilling. It's just long and preachy and a waste of time, talent and money. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Man On Fire
In Man On Fire director Tony Scott gets a little too fancy with his technique and tricks. The fast cuts and weird subtitles, distract from the movie as a whole. But Denzel Washington is great in his conflicted character and Dakota Fanning is the best she's been since "I Am Sam." The last several rolls she's had have been a bit too shrill. The acting is great. You really care about these characters. But this is a brutal movie. There are more than a few scenes that will make you cringe.
4 Stars Out of 5
Man on Wire - Magnolia Pictures - Rated R
Man on Wire is a fascinating and entertaining documentary of a man who, in 1973, secretly rigged a cable between the two towers of the World Trade Center and did a high wire act. It is a fascinating, amusing and incredible documentary that had me spellbound every second. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Manchurian Candidate
Isn't as good as the original. It has the same anti-Bush, anti-corporate, anti-war mindset as Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11," and the end stinks. But Denzel Washington rescues any film he's in. And he does that here, despite so-so performances by Liv Schriber and Meryl Streep.
3 Stars Out of 5
March of the Penguins
March of the Penguins hearkens back to the old Disney True Life Adventures. What the film makers caught on film is amazing. They lived in the harsh conditions of the Antarctic for over a year and captured the lives of Emperor Penguins as they find mates and become parents. I loved the narration so warmly and perfectly done by Morgan Freeman. I also enjoyed how the film compared the parental sacrifices of the Penguins with humans. This is a family film for families with older children. If you have toddlers, leave them at home. At the screening I attended, the kids were bored out of their minds. They fidgeted, talked about things not in the movie, and ran up and down the stairs. But older kids will appreciate the interesting story and parents will marvel in the beauty of the film and identify with the sacrifice that is parenthood. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Marci X.
Have you ever watched a really bad talent show where the performer was trying really hard but didn't seem to realize that not only was he embarrassing himself but everybody in the audience? Remember that excruciating feeling of horror and revulsion while you watched with your hands over your eyes to try to shield you but you still had to watch? That's every scene in Marci X.½ Star Out of 5
Maria Full of Grace
Maria Full of Grace is a film that will stick with you and stick with you. It is about a Columbian teen who finds herself pregnant and without a job who gets lured into becoming a "mule" - someone who ingests balloons of drugs to transport them into the US. This film almost has a documentary feel that is riveting and heartbreaking. The first time director takes an even keel, and avoids the temptation to venture into sensationalism or caricature. Catalina Sandino Moreno plays Maria with a rare perfection not often found in any performance.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Marie Antoinette
Marie Antoinette is told in a kind of new wave style with a stark feel, and stark dialogue, but wanders around and seems to lose its way. The cast speak in English and have no accents whatsoever, and Kirsten Dunst as Marie, is made to be a sort of 18th century Paris Hilton. I applaud the film for trying something different, but fault it for poor execution. 2 ½ stars Out of 5
The Marine
The Marine is an over the top action flick with stupid dialogue and so many explosions they get boring. Everything blows up here. A little shack had to have been storing high explosives. Even a bait shop looks like their worms must have been eating TNT! Pro wrestler John Cena does have a screen presence and might have a future as an action star if he avoids any more movies like this. 2 Stars Out of 5
Marley & Me - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Based on a true story, Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston star in the enjoyable but heart tugging dog tale, Marley and Me. A word of warning…the end is relentless! 3 1/2 Stars out of 5
Marmaduke - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Marmaduke is a Puzzle. Curiously, there are a few too many drug references for a family film. I was uncomfortable, and I didn't have to explain them to little Johnny. Owen Wilson's voice is grating, the cast seems tired, and the movie is bland. Not all that funny or endearing, it has to play the "Old Yeller" card to evoke any emotion. The terrible CGI is far from believable, concluding with a hideous dancing dog finale. Kids will find this boring, adults will find it tedious, and dogs won't pay any attention at all. It all adds up to just so much Marma-dookie. 2 Stars Out of 5
Martian Child - New Line - Rated PG
Martian Child is heartwarming, but a bit sappy, and features great performances from John Cusack and the kid Bobby Coleman. It's almost relentless in its heartstring tugging, but just when you think you are going to drown in the tears from the lady sitting next to you, Joan Cusack comes in to save the day with a much needed sarcastic comment. Bring enough Kleenex for the person next to you. 3 Stars Out of 5
Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat
This movie is for hard-core Martin Lawrence fans only...and even they will be disappointed. There are precious few laughs in this tedious, self serving borefest in which the chip on Martin Lawrences' shoulder is bigger than the humor.1 Star Out of 5
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
In Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World you become totally absorbed into the world of this little ship and all of the dangers it faces. This is a magnificent movie with battle scenes like you've never seen before. Look for Russell Crowe to get another Oscar Nomination. My only complaint about the film is that there are too many lines of dialogue that cannot be heard. But this film is superbly acted and directed, and intersperses the intense action with wonderful character development. It is a great film.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Master of Disguise
There is no question that Dana Carvey is extremely talented. Someday he might get a film that truly showcases his immense talent and entertains like it should. In The Master of Disguise, all of that talent is wasted. The humor is childish and not very funny. There are a few chuckles here, but for the most part, you've seen the big laughs in the trailers, and the rest, I'm sorry to say, is pretty stupid.2 Stars Out of 5
The Matador
I loved the black comedy The Matador. Pierce Brosnan sheds his 007 persona in a big way as he plays the lovable scallywag assassin to a tee in the best performance of his career. He's fearless, and a much better actor than I ever thought! But Greg Kinnear and Hope Davis are pitch-perfect in their roles as well. This film is one for people who love black comedy, but also for those who just love movies. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Match Point
Woody Allen should just stop. He made some great films in the past. But that time is clearly over. Match Point is one of the most unentertaining films I've ever seen. The plot is contrived, the characters all prove unlikable, and the 30's era opera soundtrack is grating. I can't remember the last movie that bored me to tears like this did. 2 Stars Out of 5
Matchstick Men
In Matchstick Men, Nicolas Cage has some real fun with his character. He gets to throw in all kinds of oddities and quirks. That only makes things more fun for the audience. The performances by everyone in the film are superb, while Alison Lohman once again proves what a tremendous actress she is. She plays a 14 year old perfectly, but she's really 24! In addition to the performances, the story is what makes Matchstick Men so great. I don't want to give anything away, but let me just say there are a few surprises.4 Stars Out of 5
Material Girls
Material Girls has got Hillary and Haylee Duff pretending to be the Hilton sisters with their jewel encrusted phones. It's got Brent Spiner doing a hideous Brooklyn accent. It's even got Anjelica Huston trying her best to collect a paycheck. What doesn't Material Girls have? A reason for being made! It's a hollow, cartoonish, sorry excuse for a movie and is yet another example of why people don't want to go to the theater and pay 8 bucks for junk like this. 1 Star Out of 5
The Matrix Reloaded
When all I write down on my notepad during a film is "whoa!" it's good…I had to see The Matrix Reloaded twice… There's loads of action and an enlargement on the plot and additional character development that really add to the matrix story. You don't have the mind-bending "Oh Wow" of the first film, but it is a worthy sequel. One bit of advice, it might be a good idea to refresh your memory on The Matrix before seeing this. I can't wait until The Matrix Revolutions in November…
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Matrix Revolutions
The third and perhaps last of the series is also the worst of the bunch. All of the "gee whiz" wonder of the first film is gone, and we now get most of our excitement from computer generated robots that are being fought with machines stolen from "Alien." The unbelievable love story between Neo and Trinity is even less so here, with Keanu Reeves and Carrie Ann Moss barely able to muster enough electricity to power a penlight. Jada Pinkett Smith is the real highlight here playing one tough cookie! The ending will make you scratch your head and wonder why they did it that way.
3 Stars Out of 5
Max Payne - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
Max Payne is heavy on atmosphere but plays like parody. Based on a video game, (and we know how that usually turns out!) it's about a drug that makes people see shadows that kill. If that sounds stupid let me be the first to tell you it is, and then some. But wait, there's more! It's got over the top bad acting including Mila Kunis who scowls her way through a pointless role, it's horribly directed, and features laughably bad dialogue. It's all silly-stupid and brain dead. So much so, while watching I felt I was hemorrhaging brain cells! Max Payne is not a title, it's a warning. It's what you get watching it. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mean Girls
Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey has a future in writing movies. Mean Girls is one teen comedy that will appeal to anyone who has ever been a teen. Lindsay Lohan and the rest of the cast mesh beautifully, and this film is very entertaining!
4 stars Out of 5
The Medallion
When you watch The Medallion you can tell that Jackie Chan is slowing down a bit…He does quite a few stunts with the aid of wires. This is a Hong Kong production that has some scenes dubbed and others are shot in English. There is also a scene with two women fighting and you actually hear cat sound effects…Even so, The Medallion ends up being a lot of fun. There are a few sections where you really have to stretch to believe them, but Jackie Chan is so enjoyable you can overlook them. And this features his first on screen kiss with Claire Forlani!3 Stars Out of 5
Meet Dave - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Eddie Murphy just needs to stop. His latest debacle is Meet Dave. It's weird and not in a good way. It's a bad cross between Star Man and Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Murphy plays two roles, a space ship captain and the ship that he's in. As the former he does a lame Patrick Stewart impersonation with an affected performance that infects the rest of the cast. As the latter, he's just strange. He does nothing funny, he's just painful. This is a groaner, an embarrassing mess. I wish I hadn't met Dave. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Meet The Browns - Lionsgate - Rated PG-13
Tyler Perry's Meet The Browns follows his typical formula. There are weird, cartoonish characters who do absurd comic stuff which is awkwardly blended with overly dramatic and preachy moments by overly broad characters. Perry's Madea character appears in a brief, absurd and totally disconnected sequence where she is pursued by the police in a not so high speed chase. It has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. I met the Browns and they made a bad first impression. 2 Stars Out of 5
Meet The Robinsons
Disney has a hit with Meet The Robinsons. The visuals in the new digital 3-D are amazing. When it's raining in the movie, you really feel like the rain is just shy of hitting you in the head. The look is great, jokes are fast and furious, and it has a heartwarming story that is fun for the entire family. 4 Stars Out of 5
Meet The Spartans - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
Meet The Spartans is another "comedy" that's got no laughs. There are plenty of bodily function gags packed with pop culture references and yes, even a couple of real commercials disguised as jokes, but I never laughed. The audience I was with didn't either. Simply popping something on the screen that is recognizable isn't a joke! What IS a joke is calling this a comedy. Oh, and calling the producers of this junk film makers. It should have been called "Meet the Spewtans." 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Melinda and Melinda
Melinda and Melinda…it's Woody Allen's latest bad movie. The premise is kind of interesting, the same basic story with a dramatic side and a comic side. It's got the old tired Woody Allen elements, the 20's music, and black and white titles. But his direction and dialogue also seem tired. There's no laughs to the comic side and no tears to the dramatic side. And Will Ferrell, is woefully miscast, shackled, and humorlessly emasculated in this picture. Woody used to be great…but it seems he's lost his touch.
2 Stars Out of 5
Memoirs of A Geisha
Memoirs of A Geisha abounds in breathtaking beauty. It is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. The look and feel are stunning. The story, however takes a back seat to the look. It borders on being a soap opera. I enjoyed it, but it didn't wrap me up in every moment like I wanted it to. 3 Stars Out of 5
Men In Black II
This is a fun movie...That is as good as the original...The only part I didn't care for were the strange cameos by Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart...but the movie overall packs a hilarious laugh wallop! Frank the pug steals the movie. I wanted to go out and get a Pug dog afterwards, but then I realized it wouldn't sing "I will Survive" so I stalled that purchase...but I give Men In Black II 4 Stars Out of 5
The Men Who Stare At Goats - Overture - Rated R
The Men Who Stare at Goats is a trip to the theater of the absurd. Somewhat subversive, this entertaining and funny film features George Clooney at the height of his comedic powers. Weird title, but a pretty good movie. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Merchant of Venice
Al Pacino is a great actor. He has given some memorable performances. In The Merchant of Venice however, he is miscast. It's not that he doesn't do a good job. He does. But his New York accent is simply too much to get over. This is a traditional Shakespeare film set in the 1600's and all of the other actors in the movie have English accents. Pacino talks and it's jarring. This is a difficult film with it's anti-semitic tones. It hasn't been filmed for theatrical release since the silent era. This version does a decent job that keeps you involved, even if you are not a big fan of Shakespeare and the old English dialogue.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Messenger - Oscilloscope Pictures - Rated R
The Messenger features stunning acting performances from Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster. Brilliantly told with an amazing script, and terrific direction, The Messenger is a heartbreaking, important film that will stick with you long after the end credits roll. Do yourself a favor. See this movie. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Messengers
The Messengers is a kind of hybrid haunted house movie. Think The Shining meets The Grudge with a little of The Birds thrown in for good measure. There are a few good scares here and there, and the effects are good, but there isn't much originality with this one. There's just too much that's been borrowed from other movies. 3 Stars Out of 5
Miami Vice
Miami Vice lasts 2 hours and 15 minutes, and talks its way through most of that. Nothing happens until the last 45 minutes, and what happens then is stupid. This is humorless, with a nearly incomprehensible storyline that is as hard to understand as Gong Li's dialogue. It's shot in drab, cheap looking monochromatic digital cinematography that reminded me of an episode of "COPS." This bears no resemblance to the TV show it's named after. Not in style, content, or story. Miami Vice is a boring snooze-fest that belongs in your list of movies to avoid…at all costs.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Michael Clayton - Warner Bros. - Rated R
George Clooney plays somewhat against type with a kind of sad sack, down on his luck character in Michael Clayton and is at the top of his game. This legal morality tale has plenty to keep you interested and has a great ending. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Micmacs - Sony - Rated R
Micmacs is a whimsical French film with an amusing style. Unfortunately, it has a misplaced premise. A man shot in the head, lives and sets out to destroy the ammunition maker. Here's the lesson I guess the French want us to learn: If I get hit, say, with a spitwad, I should go after the paper company. Or a plunked with pea shooter, go after the farmer. Micmacs, mish mash. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
A Mighty Wind
The Gang has done it again! A Mighty Wind is mighty funny! If you are a fan of the "mocumentary," (like I am) starting with Spinal Tap and continuing with Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show, you are going to love A Mighty Wind. Even if you haven't seen any of them, you're still going to love A Mighty Wind. I laughed until I hurt. The performances are perfect, with Eugene Levy's burned out musician still making me chuckle.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Milk - Focus Features - Rated R
Milk tells the story of gay politician Harvey Milk. It is unconventional, engaging and very well directed. The entire cast gives great performances but there is a certain Oscar nomination for Sean Penn, who is downright astonishing - he so disappears into his role, you forget that you are watching an actor. Likewise, Josh Brolin gives an unforgettable portrayal of Milk's assassin, Dan White. I expect multiple nominations for Milk. 4 stars Out of 5
Million Dollar Baby
Million Dollar Baby is quite simply, spectacular. From Clint Eastwood's masterful direction to Oscar worthy performances from Hillary Swank, Clint Eastwood, and Morgan Freeman, to a phenomenally great story, this film is one of the very best of 2004. I'm not going to tell you much about the plot, so I don't ruin the experience for you. Let me just say that there will be several Oscars for this film, and Clint Eastwood just keeps getting better and better. Million Dollar Baby knocked me out!
5 Stars Out of 5
Millions
Millions is a gift. It is a delightful, heartfelt morality play that is fresh and wonderful. It features brilliant and original direction from Danny Boyle, and terrific performances from the two young stars, but especially from Alexander Nathan Etel who should go on to bigger and better things. If you want to be delighted, and smile a lot, run to see "Millions."
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
MindHunters
MindHunters is made by director Renny Harlin…has he ever made a good movie?
This plays like a cheaply made cable TV movie that airs at 2 AM on a Thursday between a special feature on the making of House of Wax, and an infomercial for Car Wax. It's supposed to be a suspense thriller, but I figured out who the killer was in the first ten minutes. This sat on the shelf for 2 years, but it's not fine wine…it didn't get any better with age. In these type of movies you yell at the characters, "Run! Run away!" That's what I'm telling you…
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Minority Report
Tom Cruise has never been better and, for that matter, neither has Stephen Spielberg. This is a film with lots of special effects, but this isn't a special effects movie. This is all about the STORY. Loads of excitement, action, and it really makes you think too. Don't miss this truly great visionary film of a future with no privacy and where technology rules. This is one that I want to see again.5 Stars Out of 5
Miracle
Miracle is totally absorbing. Kurt Russell turns in an acting performance that is his best in years. The audience stood up and cheered, and so did I…You'll love it if you like hockey, you'll love it if you don't! It is a great movie that makes you feel proud you live in the USA.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Miracle at St. Anna - Touchstone - Rated R
Message to Spike Lee: Your war film is not as good as Clint Eastwood's. Not by a long shot. And, not all white Americans are racist. With Miracle at St. Anna, it seems like Spike bit off more than he could chew. It's chock full of one dimensional acting, bad editing, overpowering, bombastic music, a poor and polarizing script, and it goes on and on for 2 hours and 40 minutes of torturous, shoddy, film making. The only miracle here is how this film got made. 1 ½ stars Out of 5
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous isn't. Not even close. It's more like stunned and delirious. What happened to Sandra Bullock? Why would she not only star in, but produce this? And why would she decide to release it to theaters instead of making some Vegas costumes out of the shredded negatives? That would have been a much better use. Even the normally likable Sandra Bullock isn't likeable in this film. This film isn't worthy of anyone's time. It's contrived, hideous, and excruciatingly painful to sit through. This is a movie that is so bad you squirm in your seat, praying for an end to the agony. After the inevitable release to DVD in about a month, I hope it doesn't fall into the hands of evil doers. They could use it for torture!
1 Star Out of 5
Miss March - 20th Century Fox - Rated R
Miss March is another teen comedy that forgot the comedy. Oh, it's got poop gags, a bad Jim Carrey impersonator, a few feeble laughs and lots of gratuitous skin, but that's as far as it goes. What it really is, is a commentary on how bad things have gotten in the Playboy empire. The once powerful Hugh Hefner is reduced to stupid, immature poop movies. Miss March is a March miss. 1 ½ stars Out of 5
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - Focus Features - Rated PG-13
Can Amy Adams be anything but brilliant? She certainly is in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. It is her performance, along with Francis McDormand in a role that also shows off her extraordinary talent, that make this movie such an enjoyable one. Think of the movie as an absolutely delightful Cinderella mash-up for adults. 4 Stars Out of 5
The Missing
While the performances in The Missing are pretty good, the movie doesn't do much. It seems kind of flat. Director Ron Howard doesn't usually miss, but this one is a near miss. The acting is superb as you would expect from this cast, but this ends up being a wait until it's on video movie.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mission Impossible 3
Mission Impossible 3 has got a lot of things going against it. A script that is at times laugh-out-loud silly. There are tons of things you'll roll your eyes over in disbelief. It challenged my ability to keep going along with it. Not to mention the tarnished star that is Tom Cruise. But it has a lot of things going for it also. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is terrific as Cruise's nemesis. The action sequences are very well directed, and the opening sequence gets you right into the film. It's a decent popcorn movie if you can forget the star's couch jumping. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Mist - MGM - Rated R
Stephen King's The Mist has lots of cool monsters and plenty of suspense with some moments of humor. But Marcia Gay Harden's performance is too over the top, and the movie quickly escalates into stupidity with a feeble try at irony that kills the film and leaves the audience hanging. 3 Stars Out of 5
Monsieur Ibrahim
Monsieur Ibrahim is a brilliant, touching movie, that even my son enjoyed. Taking place in the more innocent sixties, this is a bittersweet look at a boy on the brink of adulthood and the elderly man who gets a chance at fatherhood. Omar Sharif is unforgettable, and magnificent. I thoroughly enjoyed this film.
4 Stars Out of 5
Monster
Charlize Theron turns in a blazingly good performance in Monster. In my opinion, it is one of the very best performances in the history of cinema. If you didn't know in advance that she was in this movie, you'd never guess. Her portrayal of mass murderer Aileen Wournos is more than just a character. It is a transformation. If she doesn't win the Oscar for her role in this film, there is something seriously wrong with the awards. Her performance is nothing short of astonishing. The movie itself with another lesser actress in the lead would be only average.
4 Stars Out of 5
Monster House
Monster House is very entertaining, and might be too scary for the kids it's aimed at! It's got a terrific story, fun characters and situations, however the animation leaves a little to be desired. It's a spooky roller coaster ride that might be best for kids under 6 to stay home with the baby sitter. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Monster In Law
Why Jane Fonda picked Monster In Law as the first film she's made in 15 years is one of the great mysteries of our time. Another is why she is so bad in it. Sure, it's a bad film. But Fonda is howlingly awful in it. The writing is terrible, and she doesn't know what to do with it, except give us the same screech over and over. Jennifer Lopez plays her part nice, and that's so unbelievable, the whole film crumbles under the weight of these two unbelievable characters. The film does improve slightly in the last act, but Monster In Law is just barely tolerable.
2 Stars Out of 5
Monsters VS. Aliens - Dreamworks - Rated PG
Monsters VS. Aliens tips its hat to many B movies from the 50's and 60's giving adults a grin, and has enough slapstick to keep the kids happy too. The voice talent is very good, with Seth Rogen and Reece Witherspoon showing they should do more animated films. It's full of action, and the 3-D gives it a big punch. It is imaginative family fun. 4 Stars Out of 5
Moon - Sony - Rated R
There's a dark secret in Moon. Sam Rockwell commands the film as its main character and a few others, and gives an exceptional performance. The film is somewhat derivative, owing much to 2001 A Space Odyssey. It seems interesting and mind bending at first, but in the end, not so much. Spacey…In more ways than one. 3 Stars Out of 5
Moonlight Mile
Moonlight Mile is a superb movie! It features great performances by all the stars and maybe the best ever by Susan Sarandon. It is warm, funny sweet, sad, and touching. Don't miss it.
4 1/2 Stars Out of 5
More Than A Game - Lionsgate - Rated PG
Basketball star LeBron James produced the outstanding documentary More Than A Game, about his childhood street team, The Ohio Shooting Stars, which formed the nucleus of the high school team that eventually became National Champions. This is a terrific, inspirational story, put together exceptionally well from video footage and news reports as well as new interviews of all involved. It's a slam-dunk! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mr. 3000
Mr. 3000 is a comedy that isn't filled with laughs. Even so, it's pleasant enough. Bernie Mac turns in a decent, albeit unlikable performance as a vain baseball hero. He shows he can be more than a supporting player. Paul Sorvino also stars but is wasted in a part that has maybe three lines. There's not much original here, and the end is sappy.
3 Stars Out of 5
Mr. Bean's Holiday
Every minute, of Mr. Bean's Holiday is pure torture. More than once I had to fight to keep myself in the seat. It's pretty much the same worn-out schtick, but this time it's forced and uninspired, lame and tired. In one scene, Mr. Bean is fighting sleep…So, I wasn't the only one! 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mr. Brooks
Twisted and twisty, Mr. Brooks has a lot going on. Kevin Costner and William Hurt deliver fantastic performances that are extraordinarily entertaining. Costner plays against type as a man who is addicted to killing, and Hurt plays his inner demon. They play off each other with a precision that is seldom seen. The film is always interesting, but less so when Demi Moore is on screen. Despite her wooden performance, Mr. Brooks is very good. 4 Stars Out of 5
Mr. Deeds
I freely admit I'm not an Adam Sandler fan...most of his movies I find really stupid. I didn't expect to like this at all...but it is really good! This is his best since "The Wedding Singer." My favorites in this film were John Turturro (who steals every scene he's in) and Steve Buscemi (wearing weird eyes) This is funny and heartwarming...you won't be dissapointed...4 Stars out of 5
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium - 20th Century Fox - Rated G
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium is a nice concept, but has flaws.
Dustin Hoffman does his best to try and be quirky, but he's really nothing more than an over the top cartoon with a lisp. That said, the themes of the movie are nice and children will be entertained in this mostly wonderful, magical and whimsical film. 3 Stars Out of 5
Mr. Woodcock
Do we really need to talk about Mr. Woodcock? As demonstrated in its title, it takes lowbrow movies to a new low. Billy Bob Thornton has been playing the same character for his last several movies. He's done it so often he can do it in his sleep, and that's just what he does in Mr. Woodcock. He's only there for the paycheck, as is the rest of the cast in this embarrassing, excruciatingly unfunny rubbish. Mr. Woodcock is…a limp comedy. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mrs. Henderson Presents
Mrs. Henderson Presents is a wonderful movie. With the standout and Oscar nominated performance by Judi Dench, and another great performance by Bob Hoskins, this film is a touching true story of a British tradition. A word of warning, it earns its R rating. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - Universal - Rated PG-13
Shouldn't a film that's called The Mummy, actually have a mummy in it? Alas, there are no mummies in The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. The being that comes to life here is Jet Li. I don't know if this was meant as a comment on his acting ability, but he's a clay statue come to life by some magic spell cast 2000 years ago. Speaking of acting, Maria Bello, an actress that I usually like, steps into Rachel Weisz' role and puts on a thick as mud British accent that is more embarrassing than endearing. While there are no mummies, there are badly animated abominable snowmen, convoluted action that's not terribly exciting, and it's all poorly edited so you can't really tell what is going on, there's just a lot of movement all the time.
Summing up, a clay statue comes to life plus a bad British accent, plus unexciting action, abominable editing and yeti equals money wasted at the theater. Call it The Dummy: Bomb of the Dragon Emperor. 2 Stars Out of 5
Munich
In the international thriller, Munich, Steven Spielberg once again shows his mastery as a director, this time with a more difficult film. Eric Bana does a great job as the conflicted leader of the assassination team out to avenge the murders of the Israeli Olympic team in 1972. The film's theme is terrorism but it doesn't really take sides. It shows the brutality of the act, but then looks sympathetically at those who planned the terror. The result is engaging, but ends with a somewhat mixed message. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Murderball
Murderball is much more than it seems on the surface. That of a kind of gladiator battle for quadriplegics in armored wheel chairs. The sport used to be called Murderball, but now is the more politically correct Quad Rugby. This is an extreme, full contact sport. But it only acts as an introduction to what the film is really about. That of breaking down the barriers and the uneasiness people feel towards the differently abled. This film even covers everything you secretly wanted to know about quadriplegic sex. It is a film that has and will continue to change lives and is the very best documentary so far this year!
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Music and Lyrics
Music and Lyrics is a little bit corny but delightful. Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore make a great on screen couple. Both are funny and better than they've been in a long time. The emotional payoff of the film is not very believable, but as a whole the enjoyable and lighthearted movie works, and works well. It's a good date movie. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Must Love Dogs
Must Love Dogs has the strength of its cast to keep it from being a real dog. Diane Lane improves every film she's in and does so here, while John Cusack adds the right quirky touches to what would otherwise be an ordinary chick flick guy. This follows the typical chick flick conventions and does so predictably, but you just like the characters so much, it doesn't really matter. 3 Stars Out of 5
Must Read After My Death - www.giganticdigital.com - Not Rated
Must Read After My Death is an unsettling, disturbing, true portrait of a family that looks fine from the outside, but inside is in deep chaos. Narration is provided solely from the audio tapes recorded as the family progressed into an alarming state of dysfunction. Even though it's a bit creepy, I couldn't tear myself away. You can see it online at giganticdigital.com. 4 Stars Out of 5
My Architect
My Architect is fascinating and engaging. It is a touching story about a man's quest to know his father -- a secretive famous architect father who died when the son was 11 and happened to have three families simultaneously. The son, who is the filmmaker, takes us along on his quest. I was glued to the screen!
4 Stars Out of 5
My Baby's Daddy
My Baby's Daddy ends up being kind of a mostly bland, hip hop "Three Men and a Baby" with a lot of potty humor. But it is better than I expected and has a few laughs.3 Stars Out of 5
My Best Friend's Girl - Lionsgate - Rated R
How do you make Kate Hudson, one of the most likeable actresses in Hollywood unlikeable? Put her in an unlikeable movie with the unlikeable Dane Cook. All the characters in My Best Friend's Girl are unlikeable. And that's the nicest thing I can say about this uncomfortable, vulgar, coarse film that is thin on laughs, but goes way out of its way to make its audience feel like they need to soak in anti-bacterial soap for a week or two to get rid of the stench. 2 Stars Out of 5
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Produced by Tom Hanks and wife Rita Wilson, This follows the story of Toula, the 30 year old frumpy daughter from a big Greek family very proud of it's heritage. They want her to get married to a Greek man and have Greek babies. She comes out of her shell and meets a non-Greek man, and we have a clash of cultures. This is a lovable, feel-good film, filled with warmth and humor. (and it's not hurt by the fact that Joey Fatone from boy-band N'Sync is in it!)4 Stars Out of 5
My Bloody Valentine 3-D - Lionsgate - Rated R
My Bloody Valentine 3-D is fairly predictable, and while there aren't too many chills, it does make full use of 3-D trickery. Body parts fly at the audience with splashy abandon. My biggest complaint is it's dark and difficult to see what is going on. What you can see is mostly fun with plenty of nods to the original. You may not heart My Bloody Valentine, but you won't hate it either. 3 Stars Out of 5
My Boss's Daughter
I think the producers of My Boss's Daughter saw There's Something About Mary and wanted to do another like that. Well, they gave it a try…and failed miserably. There's no heart, and no laughs unless you think people urinating on each other is funny. The one good thing I can say about the film is Tara Reid isn't wearing so much eye makeup this time.1 Star Out of 5
My Country
I really wanted to like In My Country. It stars two of my favorite actors, Julliette Binoche and Samuel L. Jackson. It takes place in South Africa in the months after Apartheid. It uses a fictional story to tell the real life drama of what happened. It has good intentions, but falls miserably short. It has horrible dialogue. One of the characters actually says, "My skin will never forget you." The romance between the two principle characters is klunky and makes you squirm in your seat. Not because it is a mixed race relationship, but because it is an adulterous affair with no motivation at all. It just pops out of nowhere because the filmmakers seem to need something to fill the time. I thought it ruined the movie.
2 1/2 Stars Out of 5
My Life in Ruins - Fox Searchlight - Rated PG-13
In My Life in Ruins, a slimmed down Nia Vardalos wants us to believe that she is a loser tour guide. I didn't. But she sure has the gooshy lovey-dovey facial expression down! She has an undeniable on-screen charm. It's too bad she wasn't in a better movie. It displays bursts of cuteness, but product placement took me right out of it. How much did IHOP pay for this infomercial? It's a syrupy movie that doesn't always work. Richard Dreyfuss plays the typical all-wise old guy who connects with Vardalos. Wasn't Morgan Freeman available? This is clearly his turf. The movie features silly caricatures with most of the cast turning in dreadful performances. There are even two characters named Poopi Kakas and Doodie Kakas. Their names say it all. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
My One and Only - Sony - Rated PG-13
George Hamilton produced My One and Only, a semi-autobiographical account of his life. Renee Zellweger seems less and less charming with every film she makes - certainly much less charming than this movie demands. She is puffy looking - like she needs some sleep. I have some advice for her…she can watch this movie. It'll transport her to dreamland faster than she can say botox. 2 Stars Out of 5
My Sister's Keeper - New Line - Rated PG-13
In My Sister's Keeper the cast is better than the film.
The two young leads played by Abigail Breslin and Sofia Vassilieva are exceptional while even Cameron Diaz was pretty good. It's not as bad a weeper as I anticipated. I expected a three Kleenex box weeper, but it was only a half. But the end left me cold. The film makers changed the book's ending, which is terrific, to lukewarm pap and ruined what could have been an exceptional movie. My advice? Read the book. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
My Super Ex Girlfriend
My Super Ex Girlfriend starts out promising, but after about 20 minutes, Uma Thurmond's character starts getting really irritating and the movie becomes less and less entertaining. She really has no comic timing at all. This looks like it's a family film, but it's not! Several sequences involving overt sexual situations make it one to watch without the kids…actually you can probably just skip this mostly unfunny, uneven film altogether. 2 Stars Out of 5
Mystic River
Mystic River is a dark and ominous film that is, at times, hard to watch. It is the rare film that can make you stand in awe of not just one, but all of the major performances in it, and it is the rare director that can get those kind of performances and then not get in the way with heavy handed film techniques. Clint Eastwood shows us once again what a gifted director he is, and most notably Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, and Marcia Gay Harden turn in haunting performances. Expect to see multiple Oscar nominations for this incredible piece of cinematic work.5 Stars Out of 5
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The Machinist
Christian Bale is astounding in The Machinist. He lost 60 pounds for his role as a man who hasn't slept in a year and has a dark secret. His is clearly one of the best performances of the year. The look and feel of the film are pitch perfect. It's pretty creepy and will have you guessing until the end. And this film sticks with you.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
MacGruber - Rogue Pictures - Rated R
Saturday Night Live skits turned into movies are seldom great, or good even. This time, it is reprehensible. From the director of the massively unfunny Land of the Lost, comes the even more unfunny MacGruber. In MacGruber, Will Forte is so over the top and so unlikeable - loathsome even, that the audience hates him from the opening frames. It is never a good thing for the audience to hate the main character. This laugh free bomb's idea of fun is desecrating a corpse. But we do get to see Forte's hind end so often I began to think it was his face! At one point Forte says, "I don't know what I'm doing and everybody hates me." Yep. 1 Star Out of 5
Mad Money - Overture Films - Rated PG-13
Even with its all-star cast, Mad Money is unappealing in just about every way. Diane Keaton's performance is downright grating, while Katie Holmes is artificial and fake. Queen Latifah rescues things somewhat, but this lame, tedious, bland, and unfunny film is a waste of time and yes, money. The producers managed to include lots of product placement, so they'll make some money, but for us, Mad Money is not even worth chump change. 2 Stars Out of 5
Madagascar
Madagascar is a bland watered down family movie that will have adults snoozing and kids wishing they had stayed home and watched Shrek on DVD. It doesn't feel like a movie with a cohesive storyline, but a series of gags strung together, and half of them fall flat. Ben Stiller doesn't make a very good lion while the show is stolen by a relative unknown playing the king of the lemurs. The 83 minute run time seems like years, and the retro style of the computer generated animation makes this seem like it should have been hand drawn.
2 stars Out of 5
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - Dreamworks - Rated PG
It's a rare sequel that's better than the original. I wasn't a big fan of Madagascar, but I was pleasantly surprised by Madagascar Escape 2 Africa. While it does borrow heavily from The Lion King, this has much more for parents than the original while keeping the kids entertained too. It's funny, with the zingers coming fast and furious. Once again, the penguins steal the show but this time the filmmakers spread the comedy wealth around, even giving some good gags to Ben Stiller. It looks better than its predecessor, but still isn't in the Pixar big leagues. 3 Stars Out of 5
Made of Honor - Sony - Rated PG-13Made of Honor is like what the bride wears at her wedding…Something old…the old predictable formula has been done many times before. Something new…well, nothing new here unless you count Patrick Dempsey wearing a mini kilt as something new. Something borrowed…the idea - from about a dozen other chick-flicks…something blue…the writers of My Best Friend's Wedding are blue because someone stole their script. Despite all that, both Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan are so appealing and perfect for this film, they make this an above average chick flick, and a pretty good date movie. (Except for the mini-kilt part. That was more like Made of Horror.) 3 Stars Out of 5
Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion
Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reuinion pretty much sticks to the formula of his first movie, Diary of a Mad Black Woman. But I liked this one better. Maybe I'm just initiated now. It's often very funny when Madea or her gassy brother, Uncle Joe are on screen. When they're not, the film gets very serious, dealing with abuse in several different ways, and often playing like a soap opera. It's also preachy, and features a silly plot contrivance at the end. But there's enough laughs in the film to forgive its occasional too-serious moments. 3 Stars Out of 5
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail - Lionsgate - Rated PG-13
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail uses the same old Tyler Perry formula; overblown melodrama with slapstick farce and lots of overacting. Tyler Perry must watch a lot of daytime TV. The film features a plot that seems borrowed from a soap opera, and several daytime TV stars appear: Dr Phil, Judge Mathis and the women from The View. Like the View, Madea is best taken in small doses and Perry agrees as she's only in about a third of the movie. The rest of the film relies on an unrelated love triangle about a lawyer, his lawyer fiancé and a hooker played by former Cosby kid Keisha Knight Pulliam. What can you say about a film when the outtakes from Dr. Phil are the highlight? Lock it up and throw away the key. 2 Stars Out of 5
Maid In Manhattan
Jennifer Lopez might be Jenny on the Block, but in this movie she's Cinderella from the projects. This is pure formula romance fluff. But it is a bit of a stretch to believe that Ralph Fiennes and J-Lo could really hook up. A perfect date movie sure to be a big hit this year and forgotten next year.
3 Stars Out of 5
Malibu's Most Wanted
This ends up being a one-joke movie that starts out funny... Jamie Kennedy expands on a character from his TV show who's name is Brad, but he calls himself B-Rad. He has a CD called Malibootay, his shrink says he has a malady known as Gangstaphrenia…but about half way through, this runs out of steam, out of jokes, and wears out it's welcome.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mamma Mia - Universal - Rated PG-13
It's been said that karaoke is like singing, only worse. Mamma Mia is like a karaoke party at Meryl Streep's house, and she's only got Abba songs. With a paper thin plot that seems cobbled together, the songs don't really fit - they feel forced into their various positions just because it's time for a song, and there are only Abba songs to choose from. While the acting performances were passable, the singing wasn't. Pierce Brosnan's voice sounds like a broken foghorn, and it's sad to see Streep try so hard but just not quite make it. That's mostly from cheesy, poor direction. The film is done in a very broad style with numerous uncomfortable seat squirming moments. It tries to be exuberant but comes off forced and desperate. Mamma Mia is like a musical, only worse. 2 stars Out of 5
The Man
The Man wastes the talents of Eugene Levy and Samuel L. Jackson in a run of the mill buddy cop comedy that's been done a hundred times before. The two stars are playing basic characters that they've done before. And, the jokes in this aren't very funny unless you find flatulence in a car, and again in an elevator funny. There are a couple of small laughs, but this is a worn out retread of a movie with recycled jokes, recycled characters and a bad smell. 2 Stars Out of 5.
A Man Apart
In A Man Apart Vin Diesel gets to squish his face around in a lot of ways, including a really "touching" moment when after beating a guy to a pulp, he gently wipes the blood off of his wedding ring. Charles Bronson did this movie better…it was called "Death Wish."
2 Stars Out of 5
Man of The House
I wonder what Tommy Lee Jones was thinking when he not only starred in but produced Man of The House. You've already seen the funny parts in the previews. The only redeeming feature of the film is its stars, and that wears thin after 30 minutes. It's entirely forgettable and will soon be in the 99 cent bin at the Supercenter.
2 Stars Out of 5
Man of the Year
Robin Williams is wasted and a good idea gets squandered in Man of the Year. It might have been interesting to see a film about a comedian becoming president. That's not what this is about. This is a comedic romantic thriller that's not very funny, romantic or thrilling. It's just long and preachy and a waste of time, talent and money. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Man On Fire
In Man On Fire director Tony Scott gets a little too fancy with his technique and tricks. The fast cuts and weird subtitles, distract from the movie as a whole. But Denzel Washington is great in his conflicted character and Dakota Fanning is the best she's been since "I Am Sam." The last several rolls she's had have been a bit too shrill. The acting is great. You really care about these characters. But this is a brutal movie. There are more than a few scenes that will make you cringe.
4 Stars Out of 5
Man on Wire - Magnolia Pictures - Rated R
Man on Wire is a fascinating and entertaining documentary of a man who, in 1973, secretly rigged a cable between the two towers of the World Trade Center and did a high wire act. It is a fascinating, amusing and incredible documentary that had me spellbound every second. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Manchurian Candidate
Isn't as good as the original. It has the same anti-Bush, anti-corporate, anti-war mindset as Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11," and the end stinks. But Denzel Washington rescues any film he's in. And he does that here, despite so-so performances by Liv Schriber and Meryl Streep.
3 Stars Out of 5
March of the Penguins
March of the Penguins hearkens back to the old Disney True Life Adventures. What the film makers caught on film is amazing. They lived in the harsh conditions of the Antarctic for over a year and captured the lives of Emperor Penguins as they find mates and become parents. I loved the narration so warmly and perfectly done by Morgan Freeman. I also enjoyed how the film compared the parental sacrifices of the Penguins with humans. This is a family film for families with older children. If you have toddlers, leave them at home. At the screening I attended, the kids were bored out of their minds. They fidgeted, talked about things not in the movie, and ran up and down the stairs. But older kids will appreciate the interesting story and parents will marvel in the beauty of the film and identify with the sacrifice that is parenthood. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Marci X.
Have you ever watched a really bad talent show where the performer was trying really hard but didn't seem to realize that not only was he embarrassing himself but everybody in the audience? Remember that excruciating feeling of horror and revulsion while you watched with your hands over your eyes to try to shield you but you still had to watch? That's every scene in Marci X.½ Star Out of 5
Maria Full of Grace
Maria Full of Grace is a film that will stick with you and stick with you. It is about a Columbian teen who finds herself pregnant and without a job who gets lured into becoming a "mule" - someone who ingests balloons of drugs to transport them into the US. This film almost has a documentary feel that is riveting and heartbreaking. The first time director takes an even keel, and avoids the temptation to venture into sensationalism or caricature. Catalina Sandino Moreno plays Maria with a rare perfection not often found in any performance.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Marie Antoinette
Marie Antoinette is told in a kind of new wave style with a stark feel, and stark dialogue, but wanders around and seems to lose its way. The cast speak in English and have no accents whatsoever, and Kirsten Dunst as Marie, is made to be a sort of 18th century Paris Hilton. I applaud the film for trying something different, but fault it for poor execution. 2 ½ stars Out of 5
The Marine
The Marine is an over the top action flick with stupid dialogue and so many explosions they get boring. Everything blows up here. A little shack had to have been storing high explosives. Even a bait shop looks like their worms must have been eating TNT! Pro wrestler John Cena does have a screen presence and might have a future as an action star if he avoids any more movies like this. 2 Stars Out of 5
Marley & Me - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Based on a true story, Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston star in the enjoyable but heart tugging dog tale, Marley and Me. A word of warning…the end is relentless! 3 1/2 Stars out of 5
Marmaduke - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Marmaduke is a Puzzle. Curiously, there are a few too many drug references for a family film. I was uncomfortable, and I didn't have to explain them to little Johnny. Owen Wilson's voice is grating, the cast seems tired, and the movie is bland. Not all that funny or endearing, it has to play the "Old Yeller" card to evoke any emotion. The terrible CGI is far from believable, concluding with a hideous dancing dog finale. Kids will find this boring, adults will find it tedious, and dogs won't pay any attention at all. It all adds up to just so much Marma-dookie. 2 Stars Out of 5
Martian Child - New Line - Rated PG
Martian Child is heartwarming, but a bit sappy, and features great performances from John Cusack and the kid Bobby Coleman. It's almost relentless in its heartstring tugging, but just when you think you are going to drown in the tears from the lady sitting next to you, Joan Cusack comes in to save the day with a much needed sarcastic comment. Bring enough Kleenex for the person next to you. 3 Stars Out of 5
Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat
This movie is for hard-core Martin Lawrence fans only...and even they will be disappointed. There are precious few laughs in this tedious, self serving borefest in which the chip on Martin Lawrences' shoulder is bigger than the humor.1 Star Out of 5
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
In Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World you become totally absorbed into the world of this little ship and all of the dangers it faces. This is a magnificent movie with battle scenes like you've never seen before. Look for Russell Crowe to get another Oscar Nomination. My only complaint about the film is that there are too many lines of dialogue that cannot be heard. But this film is superbly acted and directed, and intersperses the intense action with wonderful character development. It is a great film.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Master of Disguise
There is no question that Dana Carvey is extremely talented. Someday he might get a film that truly showcases his immense talent and entertains like it should. In The Master of Disguise, all of that talent is wasted. The humor is childish and not very funny. There are a few chuckles here, but for the most part, you've seen the big laughs in the trailers, and the rest, I'm sorry to say, is pretty stupid.2 Stars Out of 5
The Matador
I loved the black comedy The Matador. Pierce Brosnan sheds his 007 persona in a big way as he plays the lovable scallywag assassin to a tee in the best performance of his career. He's fearless, and a much better actor than I ever thought! But Greg Kinnear and Hope Davis are pitch-perfect in their roles as well. This film is one for people who love black comedy, but also for those who just love movies. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Match Point
Woody Allen should just stop. He made some great films in the past. But that time is clearly over. Match Point is one of the most unentertaining films I've ever seen. The plot is contrived, the characters all prove unlikable, and the 30's era opera soundtrack is grating. I can't remember the last movie that bored me to tears like this did. 2 Stars Out of 5
Matchstick Men
In Matchstick Men, Nicolas Cage has some real fun with his character. He gets to throw in all kinds of oddities and quirks. That only makes things more fun for the audience. The performances by everyone in the film are superb, while Alison Lohman once again proves what a tremendous actress she is. She plays a 14 year old perfectly, but she's really 24! In addition to the performances, the story is what makes Matchstick Men so great. I don't want to give anything away, but let me just say there are a few surprises.4 Stars Out of 5
Material Girls
Material Girls has got Hillary and Haylee Duff pretending to be the Hilton sisters with their jewel encrusted phones. It's got Brent Spiner doing a hideous Brooklyn accent. It's even got Anjelica Huston trying her best to collect a paycheck. What doesn't Material Girls have? A reason for being made! It's a hollow, cartoonish, sorry excuse for a movie and is yet another example of why people don't want to go to the theater and pay 8 bucks for junk like this. 1 Star Out of 5
The Matrix Reloaded
When all I write down on my notepad during a film is "whoa!" it's good…I had to see The Matrix Reloaded twice… There's loads of action and an enlargement on the plot and additional character development that really add to the matrix story. You don't have the mind-bending "Oh Wow" of the first film, but it is a worthy sequel. One bit of advice, it might be a good idea to refresh your memory on The Matrix before seeing this. I can't wait until The Matrix Revolutions in November…
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Matrix Revolutions
The third and perhaps last of the series is also the worst of the bunch. All of the "gee whiz" wonder of the first film is gone, and we now get most of our excitement from computer generated robots that are being fought with machines stolen from "Alien." The unbelievable love story between Neo and Trinity is even less so here, with Keanu Reeves and Carrie Ann Moss barely able to muster enough electricity to power a penlight. Jada Pinkett Smith is the real highlight here playing one tough cookie! The ending will make you scratch your head and wonder why they did it that way.
3 Stars Out of 5
Max Payne - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
Max Payne is heavy on atmosphere but plays like parody. Based on a video game, (and we know how that usually turns out!) it's about a drug that makes people see shadows that kill. If that sounds stupid let me be the first to tell you it is, and then some. But wait, there's more! It's got over the top bad acting including Mila Kunis who scowls her way through a pointless role, it's horribly directed, and features laughably bad dialogue. It's all silly-stupid and brain dead. So much so, while watching I felt I was hemorrhaging brain cells! Max Payne is not a title, it's a warning. It's what you get watching it. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mean Girls
Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey has a future in writing movies. Mean Girls is one teen comedy that will appeal to anyone who has ever been a teen. Lindsay Lohan and the rest of the cast mesh beautifully, and this film is very entertaining!
4 stars Out of 5
The Medallion
When you watch The Medallion you can tell that Jackie Chan is slowing down a bit…He does quite a few stunts with the aid of wires. This is a Hong Kong production that has some scenes dubbed and others are shot in English. There is also a scene with two women fighting and you actually hear cat sound effects…Even so, The Medallion ends up being a lot of fun. There are a few sections where you really have to stretch to believe them, but Jackie Chan is so enjoyable you can overlook them. And this features his first on screen kiss with Claire Forlani!3 Stars Out of 5
Meet Dave - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
Eddie Murphy just needs to stop. His latest debacle is Meet Dave. It's weird and not in a good way. It's a bad cross between Star Man and Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Murphy plays two roles, a space ship captain and the ship that he's in. As the former he does a lame Patrick Stewart impersonation with an affected performance that infects the rest of the cast. As the latter, he's just strange. He does nothing funny, he's just painful. This is a groaner, an embarrassing mess. I wish I hadn't met Dave. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Meet The Browns - Lionsgate - Rated PG-13
Tyler Perry's Meet The Browns follows his typical formula. There are weird, cartoonish characters who do absurd comic stuff which is awkwardly blended with overly dramatic and preachy moments by overly broad characters. Perry's Madea character appears in a brief, absurd and totally disconnected sequence where she is pursued by the police in a not so high speed chase. It has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. I met the Browns and they made a bad first impression. 2 Stars Out of 5
Meet The Robinsons
Disney has a hit with Meet The Robinsons. The visuals in the new digital 3-D are amazing. When it's raining in the movie, you really feel like the rain is just shy of hitting you in the head. The look is great, jokes are fast and furious, and it has a heartwarming story that is fun for the entire family. 4 Stars Out of 5
Meet The Spartans - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
Meet The Spartans is another "comedy" that's got no laughs. There are plenty of bodily function gags packed with pop culture references and yes, even a couple of real commercials disguised as jokes, but I never laughed. The audience I was with didn't either. Simply popping something on the screen that is recognizable isn't a joke! What IS a joke is calling this a comedy. Oh, and calling the producers of this junk film makers. It should have been called "Meet the Spewtans." 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Melinda and Melinda
Melinda and Melinda…it's Woody Allen's latest bad movie. The premise is kind of interesting, the same basic story with a dramatic side and a comic side. It's got the old tired Woody Allen elements, the 20's music, and black and white titles. But his direction and dialogue also seem tired. There's no laughs to the comic side and no tears to the dramatic side. And Will Ferrell, is woefully miscast, shackled, and humorlessly emasculated in this picture. Woody used to be great…but it seems he's lost his touch.
2 Stars Out of 5
Memoirs of A Geisha
Memoirs of A Geisha abounds in breathtaking beauty. It is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. The look and feel are stunning. The story, however takes a back seat to the look. It borders on being a soap opera. I enjoyed it, but it didn't wrap me up in every moment like I wanted it to. 3 Stars Out of 5
Men In Black II
This is a fun movie...That is as good as the original...The only part I didn't care for were the strange cameos by Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart...but the movie overall packs a hilarious laugh wallop! Frank the pug steals the movie. I wanted to go out and get a Pug dog afterwards, but then I realized it wouldn't sing "I will Survive" so I stalled that purchase...but I give Men In Black II 4 Stars Out of 5
The Men Who Stare At Goats - Overture - Rated R
The Men Who Stare at Goats is a trip to the theater of the absurd. Somewhat subversive, this entertaining and funny film features George Clooney at the height of his comedic powers. Weird title, but a pretty good movie. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Merchant of Venice
Al Pacino is a great actor. He has given some memorable performances. In The Merchant of Venice however, he is miscast. It's not that he doesn't do a good job. He does. But his New York accent is simply too much to get over. This is a traditional Shakespeare film set in the 1600's and all of the other actors in the movie have English accents. Pacino talks and it's jarring. This is a difficult film with it's anti-semitic tones. It hasn't been filmed for theatrical release since the silent era. This version does a decent job that keeps you involved, even if you are not a big fan of Shakespeare and the old English dialogue.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Messenger - Oscilloscope Pictures - Rated R
The Messenger features stunning acting performances from Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster. Brilliantly told with an amazing script, and terrific direction, The Messenger is a heartbreaking, important film that will stick with you long after the end credits roll. Do yourself a favor. See this movie. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Messengers
The Messengers is a kind of hybrid haunted house movie. Think The Shining meets The Grudge with a little of The Birds thrown in for good measure. There are a few good scares here and there, and the effects are good, but there isn't much originality with this one. There's just too much that's been borrowed from other movies. 3 Stars Out of 5
Miami Vice
Miami Vice lasts 2 hours and 15 minutes, and talks its way through most of that. Nothing happens until the last 45 minutes, and what happens then is stupid. This is humorless, with a nearly incomprehensible storyline that is as hard to understand as Gong Li's dialogue. It's shot in drab, cheap looking monochromatic digital cinematography that reminded me of an episode of "COPS." This bears no resemblance to the TV show it's named after. Not in style, content, or story. Miami Vice is a boring snooze-fest that belongs in your list of movies to avoid…at all costs.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Michael Clayton - Warner Bros. - Rated R
George Clooney plays somewhat against type with a kind of sad sack, down on his luck character in Michael Clayton and is at the top of his game. This legal morality tale has plenty to keep you interested and has a great ending. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Micmacs - Sony - Rated R
Micmacs is a whimsical French film with an amusing style. Unfortunately, it has a misplaced premise. A man shot in the head, lives and sets out to destroy the ammunition maker. Here's the lesson I guess the French want us to learn: If I get hit, say, with a spitwad, I should go after the paper company. Or a plunked with pea shooter, go after the farmer. Micmacs, mish mash. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
A Mighty Wind
The Gang has done it again! A Mighty Wind is mighty funny! If you are a fan of the "mocumentary," (like I am) starting with Spinal Tap and continuing with Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show, you are going to love A Mighty Wind. Even if you haven't seen any of them, you're still going to love A Mighty Wind. I laughed until I hurt. The performances are perfect, with Eugene Levy's burned out musician still making me chuckle.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Milk - Focus Features - Rated R
Milk tells the story of gay politician Harvey Milk. It is unconventional, engaging and very well directed. The entire cast gives great performances but there is a certain Oscar nomination for Sean Penn, who is downright astonishing - he so disappears into his role, you forget that you are watching an actor. Likewise, Josh Brolin gives an unforgettable portrayal of Milk's assassin, Dan White. I expect multiple nominations for Milk. 4 stars Out of 5
Million Dollar Baby
Million Dollar Baby is quite simply, spectacular. From Clint Eastwood's masterful direction to Oscar worthy performances from Hillary Swank, Clint Eastwood, and Morgan Freeman, to a phenomenally great story, this film is one of the very best of 2004. I'm not going to tell you much about the plot, so I don't ruin the experience for you. Let me just say that there will be several Oscars for this film, and Clint Eastwood just keeps getting better and better. Million Dollar Baby knocked me out!
5 Stars Out of 5
Millions
Millions is a gift. It is a delightful, heartfelt morality play that is fresh and wonderful. It features brilliant and original direction from Danny Boyle, and terrific performances from the two young stars, but especially from Alexander Nathan Etel who should go on to bigger and better things. If you want to be delighted, and smile a lot, run to see "Millions."
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
MindHunters
MindHunters is made by director Renny Harlin…has he ever made a good movie?
This plays like a cheaply made cable TV movie that airs at 2 AM on a Thursday between a special feature on the making of House of Wax, and an infomercial for Car Wax. It's supposed to be a suspense thriller, but I figured out who the killer was in the first ten minutes. This sat on the shelf for 2 years, but it's not fine wine…it didn't get any better with age. In these type of movies you yell at the characters, "Run! Run away!" That's what I'm telling you…
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Minority Report
Tom Cruise has never been better and, for that matter, neither has Stephen Spielberg. This is a film with lots of special effects, but this isn't a special effects movie. This is all about the STORY. Loads of excitement, action, and it really makes you think too. Don't miss this truly great visionary film of a future with no privacy and where technology rules. This is one that I want to see again.5 Stars Out of 5
Miracle
Miracle is totally absorbing. Kurt Russell turns in an acting performance that is his best in years. The audience stood up and cheered, and so did I…You'll love it if you like hockey, you'll love it if you don't! It is a great movie that makes you feel proud you live in the USA.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Miracle at St. Anna - Touchstone - Rated R
Message to Spike Lee: Your war film is not as good as Clint Eastwood's. Not by a long shot. And, not all white Americans are racist. With Miracle at St. Anna, it seems like Spike bit off more than he could chew. It's chock full of one dimensional acting, bad editing, overpowering, bombastic music, a poor and polarizing script, and it goes on and on for 2 hours and 40 minutes of torturous, shoddy, film making. The only miracle here is how this film got made. 1 ½ stars Out of 5
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous isn't. Not even close. It's more like stunned and delirious. What happened to Sandra Bullock? Why would she not only star in, but produce this? And why would she decide to release it to theaters instead of making some Vegas costumes out of the shredded negatives? That would have been a much better use. Even the normally likable Sandra Bullock isn't likeable in this film. This film isn't worthy of anyone's time. It's contrived, hideous, and excruciatingly painful to sit through. This is a movie that is so bad you squirm in your seat, praying for an end to the agony. After the inevitable release to DVD in about a month, I hope it doesn't fall into the hands of evil doers. They could use it for torture!
1 Star Out of 5
Miss March - 20th Century Fox - Rated R
Miss March is another teen comedy that forgot the comedy. Oh, it's got poop gags, a bad Jim Carrey impersonator, a few feeble laughs and lots of gratuitous skin, but that's as far as it goes. What it really is, is a commentary on how bad things have gotten in the Playboy empire. The once powerful Hugh Hefner is reduced to stupid, immature poop movies. Miss March is a March miss. 1 ½ stars Out of 5
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - Focus Features - Rated PG-13
Can Amy Adams be anything but brilliant? She certainly is in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. It is her performance, along with Francis McDormand in a role that also shows off her extraordinary talent, that make this movie such an enjoyable one. Think of the movie as an absolutely delightful Cinderella mash-up for adults. 4 Stars Out of 5
The Missing
While the performances in The Missing are pretty good, the movie doesn't do much. It seems kind of flat. Director Ron Howard doesn't usually miss, but this one is a near miss. The acting is superb as you would expect from this cast, but this ends up being a wait until it's on video movie.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mission Impossible 3
Mission Impossible 3 has got a lot of things going against it. A script that is at times laugh-out-loud silly. There are tons of things you'll roll your eyes over in disbelief. It challenged my ability to keep going along with it. Not to mention the tarnished star that is Tom Cruise. But it has a lot of things going for it also. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is terrific as Cruise's nemesis. The action sequences are very well directed, and the opening sequence gets you right into the film. It's a decent popcorn movie if you can forget the star's couch jumping. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Mist - MGM - Rated R
Stephen King's The Mist has lots of cool monsters and plenty of suspense with some moments of humor. But Marcia Gay Harden's performance is too over the top, and the movie quickly escalates into stupidity with a feeble try at irony that kills the film and leaves the audience hanging. 3 Stars Out of 5
Monsieur Ibrahim
Monsieur Ibrahim is a brilliant, touching movie, that even my son enjoyed. Taking place in the more innocent sixties, this is a bittersweet look at a boy on the brink of adulthood and the elderly man who gets a chance at fatherhood. Omar Sharif is unforgettable, and magnificent. I thoroughly enjoyed this film.
4 Stars Out of 5
Monster
Charlize Theron turns in a blazingly good performance in Monster. In my opinion, it is one of the very best performances in the history of cinema. If you didn't know in advance that she was in this movie, you'd never guess. Her portrayal of mass murderer Aileen Wournos is more than just a character. It is a transformation. If she doesn't win the Oscar for her role in this film, there is something seriously wrong with the awards. Her performance is nothing short of astonishing. The movie itself with another lesser actress in the lead would be only average.
4 Stars Out of 5
Monster House
Monster House is very entertaining, and might be too scary for the kids it's aimed at! It's got a terrific story, fun characters and situations, however the animation leaves a little to be desired. It's a spooky roller coaster ride that might be best for kids under 6 to stay home with the baby sitter. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Monster In Law
Why Jane Fonda picked Monster In Law as the first film she's made in 15 years is one of the great mysteries of our time. Another is why she is so bad in it. Sure, it's a bad film. But Fonda is howlingly awful in it. The writing is terrible, and she doesn't know what to do with it, except give us the same screech over and over. Jennifer Lopez plays her part nice, and that's so unbelievable, the whole film crumbles under the weight of these two unbelievable characters. The film does improve slightly in the last act, but Monster In Law is just barely tolerable.
2 Stars Out of 5
Monsters VS. Aliens - Dreamworks - Rated PG
Monsters VS. Aliens tips its hat to many B movies from the 50's and 60's giving adults a grin, and has enough slapstick to keep the kids happy too. The voice talent is very good, with Seth Rogen and Reece Witherspoon showing they should do more animated films. It's full of action, and the 3-D gives it a big punch. It is imaginative family fun. 4 Stars Out of 5
Moon - Sony - Rated R
There's a dark secret in Moon. Sam Rockwell commands the film as its main character and a few others, and gives an exceptional performance. The film is somewhat derivative, owing much to 2001 A Space Odyssey. It seems interesting and mind bending at first, but in the end, not so much. Spacey…In more ways than one. 3 Stars Out of 5
Moonlight Mile
Moonlight Mile is a superb movie! It features great performances by all the stars and maybe the best ever by Susan Sarandon. It is warm, funny sweet, sad, and touching. Don't miss it.
4 1/2 Stars Out of 5
More Than A Game - Lionsgate - Rated PG
Basketball star LeBron James produced the outstanding documentary More Than A Game, about his childhood street team, The Ohio Shooting Stars, which formed the nucleus of the high school team that eventually became National Champions. This is a terrific, inspirational story, put together exceptionally well from video footage and news reports as well as new interviews of all involved. It's a slam-dunk! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mr. 3000
Mr. 3000 is a comedy that isn't filled with laughs. Even so, it's pleasant enough. Bernie Mac turns in a decent, albeit unlikable performance as a vain baseball hero. He shows he can be more than a supporting player. Paul Sorvino also stars but is wasted in a part that has maybe three lines. There's not much original here, and the end is sappy.
3 Stars Out of 5
Mr. Bean's Holiday
Every minute, of Mr. Bean's Holiday is pure torture. More than once I had to fight to keep myself in the seat. It's pretty much the same worn-out schtick, but this time it's forced and uninspired, lame and tired. In one scene, Mr. Bean is fighting sleep…So, I wasn't the only one! 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mr. Brooks
Twisted and twisty, Mr. Brooks has a lot going on. Kevin Costner and William Hurt deliver fantastic performances that are extraordinarily entertaining. Costner plays against type as a man who is addicted to killing, and Hurt plays his inner demon. They play off each other with a precision that is seldom seen. The film is always interesting, but less so when Demi Moore is on screen. Despite her wooden performance, Mr. Brooks is very good. 4 Stars Out of 5
Mr. Deeds
I freely admit I'm not an Adam Sandler fan...most of his movies I find really stupid. I didn't expect to like this at all...but it is really good! This is his best since "The Wedding Singer." My favorites in this film were John Turturro (who steals every scene he's in) and Steve Buscemi (wearing weird eyes) This is funny and heartwarming...you won't be dissapointed...4 Stars out of 5
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium - 20th Century Fox - Rated G
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium is a nice concept, but has flaws.
Dustin Hoffman does his best to try and be quirky, but he's really nothing more than an over the top cartoon with a lisp. That said, the themes of the movie are nice and children will be entertained in this mostly wonderful, magical and whimsical film. 3 Stars Out of 5
Mr. Woodcock
Do we really need to talk about Mr. Woodcock? As demonstrated in its title, it takes lowbrow movies to a new low. Billy Bob Thornton has been playing the same character for his last several movies. He's done it so often he can do it in his sleep, and that's just what he does in Mr. Woodcock. He's only there for the paycheck, as is the rest of the cast in this embarrassing, excruciatingly unfunny rubbish. Mr. Woodcock is…a limp comedy. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Mrs. Henderson Presents
Mrs. Henderson Presents is a wonderful movie. With the standout and Oscar nominated performance by Judi Dench, and another great performance by Bob Hoskins, this film is a touching true story of a British tradition. A word of warning, it earns its R rating. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - Universal - Rated PG-13
Shouldn't a film that's called The Mummy, actually have a mummy in it? Alas, there are no mummies in The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. The being that comes to life here is Jet Li. I don't know if this was meant as a comment on his acting ability, but he's a clay statue come to life by some magic spell cast 2000 years ago. Speaking of acting, Maria Bello, an actress that I usually like, steps into Rachel Weisz' role and puts on a thick as mud British accent that is more embarrassing than endearing. While there are no mummies, there are badly animated abominable snowmen, convoluted action that's not terribly exciting, and it's all poorly edited so you can't really tell what is going on, there's just a lot of movement all the time.
Summing up, a clay statue comes to life plus a bad British accent, plus unexciting action, abominable editing and yeti equals money wasted at the theater. Call it The Dummy: Bomb of the Dragon Emperor. 2 Stars Out of 5
Munich
In the international thriller, Munich, Steven Spielberg once again shows his mastery as a director, this time with a more difficult film. Eric Bana does a great job as the conflicted leader of the assassination team out to avenge the murders of the Israeli Olympic team in 1972. The film's theme is terrorism but it doesn't really take sides. It shows the brutality of the act, but then looks sympathetically at those who planned the terror. The result is engaging, but ends with a somewhat mixed message. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Murderball
Murderball is much more than it seems on the surface. That of a kind of gladiator battle for quadriplegics in armored wheel chairs. The sport used to be called Murderball, but now is the more politically correct Quad Rugby. This is an extreme, full contact sport. But it only acts as an introduction to what the film is really about. That of breaking down the barriers and the uneasiness people feel towards the differently abled. This film even covers everything you secretly wanted to know about quadriplegic sex. It is a film that has and will continue to change lives and is the very best documentary so far this year!
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Music and Lyrics
Music and Lyrics is a little bit corny but delightful. Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore make a great on screen couple. Both are funny and better than they've been in a long time. The emotional payoff of the film is not very believable, but as a whole the enjoyable and lighthearted movie works, and works well. It's a good date movie. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Must Love Dogs
Must Love Dogs has the strength of its cast to keep it from being a real dog. Diane Lane improves every film she's in and does so here, while John Cusack adds the right quirky touches to what would otherwise be an ordinary chick flick guy. This follows the typical chick flick conventions and does so predictably, but you just like the characters so much, it doesn't really matter. 3 Stars Out of 5
Must Read After My Death - www.giganticdigital.com - Not Rated
Must Read After My Death is an unsettling, disturbing, true portrait of a family that looks fine from the outside, but inside is in deep chaos. Narration is provided solely from the audio tapes recorded as the family progressed into an alarming state of dysfunction. Even though it's a bit creepy, I couldn't tear myself away. You can see it online at giganticdigital.com. 4 Stars Out of 5
My Architect
My Architect is fascinating and engaging. It is a touching story about a man's quest to know his father -- a secretive famous architect father who died when the son was 11 and happened to have three families simultaneously. The son, who is the filmmaker, takes us along on his quest. I was glued to the screen!
4 Stars Out of 5
My Baby's Daddy
My Baby's Daddy ends up being kind of a mostly bland, hip hop "Three Men and a Baby" with a lot of potty humor. But it is better than I expected and has a few laughs.3 Stars Out of 5
My Best Friend's Girl - Lionsgate - Rated R
How do you make Kate Hudson, one of the most likeable actresses in Hollywood unlikeable? Put her in an unlikeable movie with the unlikeable Dane Cook. All the characters in My Best Friend's Girl are unlikeable. And that's the nicest thing I can say about this uncomfortable, vulgar, coarse film that is thin on laughs, but goes way out of its way to make its audience feel like they need to soak in anti-bacterial soap for a week or two to get rid of the stench. 2 Stars Out of 5
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Produced by Tom Hanks and wife Rita Wilson, This follows the story of Toula, the 30 year old frumpy daughter from a big Greek family very proud of it's heritage. They want her to get married to a Greek man and have Greek babies. She comes out of her shell and meets a non-Greek man, and we have a clash of cultures. This is a lovable, feel-good film, filled with warmth and humor. (and it's not hurt by the fact that Joey Fatone from boy-band N'Sync is in it!)4 Stars Out of 5
My Bloody Valentine 3-D - Lionsgate - Rated R
My Bloody Valentine 3-D is fairly predictable, and while there aren't too many chills, it does make full use of 3-D trickery. Body parts fly at the audience with splashy abandon. My biggest complaint is it's dark and difficult to see what is going on. What you can see is mostly fun with plenty of nods to the original. You may not heart My Bloody Valentine, but you won't hate it either. 3 Stars Out of 5
My Boss's Daughter
I think the producers of My Boss's Daughter saw There's Something About Mary and wanted to do another like that. Well, they gave it a try…and failed miserably. There's no heart, and no laughs unless you think people urinating on each other is funny. The one good thing I can say about the film is Tara Reid isn't wearing so much eye makeup this time.1 Star Out of 5
My Country
I really wanted to like In My Country. It stars two of my favorite actors, Julliette Binoche and Samuel L. Jackson. It takes place in South Africa in the months after Apartheid. It uses a fictional story to tell the real life drama of what happened. It has good intentions, but falls miserably short. It has horrible dialogue. One of the characters actually says, "My skin will never forget you." The romance between the two principle characters is klunky and makes you squirm in your seat. Not because it is a mixed race relationship, but because it is an adulterous affair with no motivation at all. It just pops out of nowhere because the filmmakers seem to need something to fill the time. I thought it ruined the movie.
2 1/2 Stars Out of 5
My Life in Ruins - Fox Searchlight - Rated PG-13
In My Life in Ruins, a slimmed down Nia Vardalos wants us to believe that she is a loser tour guide. I didn't. But she sure has the gooshy lovey-dovey facial expression down! She has an undeniable on-screen charm. It's too bad she wasn't in a better movie. It displays bursts of cuteness, but product placement took me right out of it. How much did IHOP pay for this infomercial? It's a syrupy movie that doesn't always work. Richard Dreyfuss plays the typical all-wise old guy who connects with Vardalos. Wasn't Morgan Freeman available? This is clearly his turf. The movie features silly caricatures with most of the cast turning in dreadful performances. There are even two characters named Poopi Kakas and Doodie Kakas. Their names say it all. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
My One and Only - Sony - Rated PG-13
George Hamilton produced My One and Only, a semi-autobiographical account of his life. Renee Zellweger seems less and less charming with every film she makes - certainly much less charming than this movie demands. She is puffy looking - like she needs some sleep. I have some advice for her…she can watch this movie. It'll transport her to dreamland faster than she can say botox. 2 Stars Out of 5
My Sister's Keeper - New Line - Rated PG-13
In My Sister's Keeper the cast is better than the film.
The two young leads played by Abigail Breslin and Sofia Vassilieva are exceptional while even Cameron Diaz was pretty good. It's not as bad a weeper as I anticipated. I expected a three Kleenex box weeper, but it was only a half. But the end left me cold. The film makers changed the book's ending, which is terrific, to lukewarm pap and ruined what could have been an exceptional movie. My advice? Read the book. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
My Super Ex Girlfriend
My Super Ex Girlfriend starts out promising, but after about 20 minutes, Uma Thurmond's character starts getting really irritating and the movie becomes less and less entertaining. She really has no comic timing at all. This looks like it's a family film, but it's not! Several sequences involving overt sexual situations make it one to watch without the kids…actually you can probably just skip this mostly unfunny, uneven film altogether. 2 Stars Out of 5
Mystic River
Mystic River is a dark and ominous film that is, at times, hard to watch. It is the rare film that can make you stand in awe of not just one, but all of the major performances in it, and it is the rare director that can get those kind of performances and then not get in the way with heavy handed film techniques. Clint Eastwood shows us once again what a gifted director he is, and most notably Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, and Marcia Gay Harden turn in haunting performances. Expect to see multiple Oscar nominations for this incredible piece of cinematic work.5 Stars Out of 5
