Movie Review
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Hairspray
Those who stay away from Hairspray because they are afraid it is going to be a drag-fest needn't worry. John Travolta is the only man in drag and is campy and funny but plays it straight. Travolta's Edna is all woman. Newcomer Nikki Blonski is the star, and is a revelation, lighting up the screen with her megawatt personality. The movie is so packed with fun I didn't want to blink for fear I'd miss something.
After a summer of let downs, this is the rare movie that just makes you feel good! Hairspray is an exuberant real audience pleaser, packed with show stopping numbers. It's a TON of fun and the best movie so far this year! 5 Stars Out of 5
Half Past Dead
This film is half past dead. Steven Segal looks half past dead…he acts half past dead…he's tired, and bloated, the years have not been kind to him. So why keep putting him in action movies when he's really not doing much action anymore? Is it his acting ability? Well you have to admit he acts like wet cardboard with attitude better than anyone else. Ja Rule shows a little bit of promise, and this film is way beneath Morris Chestnut . As for the rest of this film, it's incongruent and a waste of time…2 Stars Out of 5
Halloween
Rob Zombie's Halloween is nowhere near as good as the original, but it is his best film to date. All the familiar Zombie players make an appearance, and usually against type, which adds a fun touch. This version takes its time examining Michael Myers' childhood and mask fetish, and spends a little too much time on it - almost half the film. When it finally kicks in, it does so with gusto, piling on the blood and body count with gleeful abandon. I liked it. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Halloween: Resurrection
Body count: 10 Here's an idea...Why not kill off Michael Myers for good??? Well, not a chance of this while gullible people will still spend their hard earned money on this trash. This is the eighth in the series...Please...Oh Please...No Michael...not...another ...sequel...AHHHHHHHHH!!!! 1 1/2 stars out of 5
Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour - Disney - Rated G
I walked into Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour not knowing what to expect. What I got was an infectious performance with high energy that generates a lot of excitement. And that was just in the audience! I was surrounded by 8, 9 and 10 year olds for the most part, who participated just as if it was a live concert! It was incredible. The 3-D makes it feel like you are there. The concert was very well done, with great staging, and great performances. Your kids will have a blast and so will you. And here's some good news, it's no longer a limited run, so you can go again. 4 Stars Out of 5
Hannibal Rising
Hannibal Rising doesn't rise at all. It actually sinks. If it wasn't for its pedigree, it would hold no interest. Firstly, the new Hannibal isn't convincing. Gaspard Ulliel is only a mediocre actor. He's trying to do a poor impersonation of Anthony Hopkins. I Never believed for one second this guy grew up to be Hopkin's Lechter. Next, the dialog and direction stink. It plods along with no jumps, scares, thrills or even any tension! It just drags on and on. Hannibal Rising is deadly dull. 2 Stars Out of 5
Happily N'Ever After
Happily N'ever After is one of the best examples of why film actors shouldn't do cartoon voice-overs. Sigorney Weaver and Sarah Michelle Geller are simply hideous. The former for her over-the-top over-acting, and the latter for having the performance equal to listening to a cup of mud for an hour and a half. This is just another Shrek wanna be with direct to DVD quality animation that tries WAY to hard to be oh-so-hip and edgy - but fails. 2 Stars Out of 5
Happy Feet
Happy Feet features amazing animation, it's some of the best I've ever seen in a computer generated movie. It starts a little slow but has a mostly cute story that turns a bit heavy handed with the environmentalist message. Man is the bad guy and the reason there aren't any fish for the penguins to eat. It's also got a secondary message - that you can save the world with your art. It's put into an entertaining package, although the end leaves a little bit to be desired. 3 stars Out of 5
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay - Warner Brothers - Rated R
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay and it's a good thing, because the way that the terrorist prison is portrayed, it is nothing but a den of iniquity. They are taken there after smuggling drug paraphernalia aboard an airplane which is mistaken for a bomb. There never was any mistake with this movie, however. It had bomb written all over it, and lives up to the promise. There are only fleeting moments of humor with ample druggy, gross, irreverent scenes best appreciated under the influence. It is better than the first, only that it is slightly more coherent. I am happy to report that I escaped from this movie, albeit with a few less brain cells. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is a stoner movie that you have to be stoned to think is funny. Of course, when you are stoned, you might think two attractive women in a defecation contest is funny. Oh wait…that's in the movie…this movie needs to be flushed with the other trash…
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is every bit as good as the first film…maybe better! There is more action here with a somewhat darker and more ominous tone. The three young stars seem more confident and accomplished than in the first film. This also features a very funny performance by Kenneth Branagh playing an egotistical, boastful professor with very little magical skill. This is a delightful and magical film, and I can't wait until number three! 4 ½ stars Out of 5
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry is growing up and so is the film series. This edition has less of the wide eyed wonder that was present in the first three films, and is much more mature, more complex and engrossing. The three leads are getting better and better with each film, and this edition introduces us to Brendan Gleeson as Mad Eye Moody who is a wonderful addition. This Harry Potter is the best one yet. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, finds Harry in full-bore teen angst. This film is all about conflict. Harry's inner conflict and lots of outer conflict as well. The series is growing up along with its audience, and as the pattern has gone with each subsequent film, it's darker and much less whimsical this time. Especially entertaining is Imelda Saunton's character Miss Umbridge as she makes Hogwarts politically correct, and turns things upside down. Potter fans won't be disappointed with this magnificent movie! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is more mature, darker and scarier than the first two films. And that is a good thing…A very good thing. The series has aged with the characters. If you've never seen a Harry Potter movie, you might want to get caught up before seeing this one, though. There are some truly great sequences including the very funny opening, and some inspired hilarity with some talking shrunken heads. There isn't a dull moment in the entire film, and it is completely enjoyable. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Harsh Times
Christian Bale proves once again why he is simply one of the best actors working today. He is riveting as the guy you really don't want to be your friend in Harsh Times. The film, however, isn't as good as Bale's performance. 3 Stars Out of 5
The Haunted Mansion
The Haunted Mansion sticks pretty close to the story of the theme park ride. It's a little more bland than I wanted. The Pirates of the Caribbean has so much gusto, and Haunted Mansion tries hard, but ends up being much more vanilla despite valiant efforts by the cast. It's just not written with any kind of an edge to it. It's fun enough, but I was disappointed.
3 stars Out of 5
Head Of State
Head Of State was produced by, written by, directed by, and stars Chris Rock. Can you say, "Vanity Project?" Remember when John Travolta did one of those? It was called "Battlefield Earth." (Nuff said?) Head of State ends up being an ill conceived, somewhat racist, only slightly amusing Chris Rock rant. And Robin Givens is especially irritating as the screaming banshee ex-girlfriend! There's just not much to like here. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Heartbreak Kid - Dreamworks - Rated R
In The Heartbreak Kid, Ben Stiller does his same old tired shtick again. I for one am sick of his shtick. He's not likable at all here. In this film, the Farrelly brothers give us nose jokes, bodily function jokes, weird violent sex, and stoop to shock with an unnecessary "Mexican donkey show." I don't mind the gross out humor if it actually contains humor! Here, it doesn't. Heartbreak? Nah, it's not a heart you hear breaking, it's a Ben bomb going off! 1 Star Out of 5
Hellboy
Hellboy has a great sense of humor and is a ton of fun. It totally captivated me from beginning to end. Ron Perlman's cigar smoking spawn of the underworld is quirky and complicated. He may have found the role that will finally make him a star. This movie doesn't take itself too seriously. But I seriously liked it. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Hero
If you are a fan of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, you will like Hero. This film presented by Quentin Tarantino, features lush cinematography and lots of wire work, with a semi-historical background. It is in Chinese with English subtitles that move a little too fast for my taste. The story line is a bit convoluted, but it does keep your attention. Jet Li plays a part that is a bit different for him, but we still see plenty of martial arts. I liked Hero. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Hey Arnold the MovieThis movie looks like they spent 27 dollars on it. It is so grainy it is almost out of focus. Worse than that, it isn't funny...I heard one kid in the audience half snicker one time. My daughter gave it a thumbs down. But the one plus is it was 76 minutes long. Mercifully short. So, I give it 1 Star out of 5
Hidalgo
Hidalgo is kind of a mix between "Indiana Jones" and "Seabiscuit." It has horse racing, swashbuckling and a little romance. While it has its flaws, it completely won me over. It is exhilarating and totally enjoyable. 4 Stars Out of 5
Hide and Seek
I'm beginning to think that there isn't a movie Robert DeNiro won't turn down. Hide and Seek is way beneath him. It's an average story with precious few chills. The film and its stars are plagued by sloppy direction that makes everyone look bad at one time or another. And, it takes way to long to get to the obvious conclusion. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Hills Have Eyes
The Hills Have Eyes is brutal and highly disturbing. But that's what it wants to be. It is shocking, startling, gory and produces the feeling of dread required by a movie like this in gallons and gallons. It's a creep-fest that horror fans will love. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Hills Have Eyes 2
The Hills Have Eyes 2 is an extraordinarily stupid film in a genre not known for intelligence. Having nothing to do with the first film, this has a completely new cast and characters. This time an inept bunch of army reserve recruits take on the hill people. You know who loses. YOU! It should have gone straight to DVD, to be used as a coaster for the beverage you'll need to drown your sorrows over wasting your hard earned money on garbage like this. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Hitch
I really liked Hitch. Sure, it's a chick flick. But there is enough in it for the guys to like too. Some guys might even want to take notes in the first third of the movie. There is nothing really all that new here, but Hitch mixes it up well. This film is all about the appeal of the actors. Will Smith has great appeal and this shows us he can do anything, and Kevin James is very, very funny. It's nothing that will ever win an award, but Hitch is a great date flick. 4 Stars Out of 5
The Hitcher
Sean Bean is exceptionally menacing in The Hitcher - a very tense action and blood filled remake. It manages several jumps and scares while getting more and more intense until the ending becomes unbelievable. If you check your brain at the door, and totally suspend your disbelief, you'll enjoy it. 3 Stars Out of 5
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I've never read the books, or heard the BBC radio series, so this was my first exposure to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And I liked it! It is a strange, quirky and sometimes brilliant film that has a great sense of fun. It has witty narration and wonderful visuals with some awesome creatures made by Jim Henson's creature shop. The film drags a bit in the middle but then picks itself up again and ends with a bang! 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Hitman - 20th Century Fox - Rated R
Hitman is too dull for an action movie and too dull for a video game. But like the video game it comes from, there is not much of a plot. And since we're watching and not playing, there is precious little reason to stay in our seats.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Hoax
The Hoax is the true story of Clifford Irving and the fake autobiography of Howard Hughes he wrote in the 70's. This is a very entertaining film led by strong performances from Richard Gere and Alfred Molina. The first half has a lot of fun and humor, while the second half deals with a conspiracy that makes Irving's book one of the causes of Watergate. I really liked it. 4 Stars Out of 5
Holes
Holes is delightful. Fans of the book will not be disappointed, and if you haven't read the book, (like me) you'll love it too! I was delighted in this movie's utter lack of predictability in every way. The plot twists and turns, the performances especially from John Voight and Sigourney Weaver are deliciously different. This is a really fun movie for the whole family (no pun intended…OK, yes it was…) 4 Stars Out of 5
The Holiday
The Holiday is an overly long chick flick. Jack Black pulls it down and is the only part that rings false. If the film makers had cut him out of this, it would have been better. It is enjoyable in many areas, however. I wish the story line with the great Eli Wallach was developed more. The moments he shares with Kate Winslet are the best in the movie. 3 Stars Out of 5
Hollywood Ending
Woody Allen doesn't always hit home runs anymore, but this one's a triple. He's his usual neurotic self this time in his element...playing a film director that is the victim of psycho-semantic blindness. This is very funny. Woody fans will not be disappointed. 4 Stars Out of 5
Hollywood Homicide
There are tons of cameos in this movie. Smokey Robinson, Gladys Knight, Eric Idle, and lot's more…I know why they are there…because the producers knew the script wouldn't keep people awake. But the cameos won't either. This story flails around in more directions than a chicken with it's legs cut off! It's either an unfunny comedy, a tame action movie, a lame buddy cop movie, or all of the above. Star Harrison Ford does his best and is the best part here, but Hollywood Homicide didn't slay me…2 Stars Out of 5
Hollywoodland
Hollywoodland is a rather engaging semi-film noir that features several good performances, and several endings, none satisfying…This film never makes up its mind, and ends up much like its subject…mediocre with flashes of greatness and ultimately a mystery. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Home On The Range
Home On The Range is probably the last hand drawn Disney animated movie we'll ever see. That is sad because it is going out with a whimper. This doesn't compare with the greats of Disney hand drawn animation, like Pinocchio, Beauty and the Beast, or even the Lion King. They all had memorable characters and stories that will last forever. There are no memorable characters or story in Home on the Range. It's pleasant enough, but the more I thought about it, the less I liked it. It's kind of like fast food. It's enjoyable while you experience it, but then once it is gone it is completely forgotten. 2 1/2 Stars Out of 5
Honey
Honey pretty much follows the formula we've all seen many times before. It's the same "star is born" and "let's put on a show" formula that powered Flashdance, and Fame, but this time with a little hip-hop. That said, it is an appealing movie with an exuberance and energy that is refreshing. Jessica Alba is certainly appealing, and her young co-star Lil Romeo smart aleck's his way into stealing every scene he's in. Normally very good Mekhi Phifer is wasted in a role that is hardly noticed.
3 Stars Out of 5
Hoodwinked
Hoodwinked is one of the most enjoyable animated movies I've seen in a long time. The animation does lack a bit in the technical department, but its fast and frenetic pace more than makes up for it with a very funny script that is packed with joke after joke. Take the kids, but you'll like it too! 4 Stars Out of 5
Hoot
The low budget looking Hoot financed by Jimmy Buffett and directed by comedian Wil Shriner starts out strange and klunky and goes downhill from there. It's not entertaining, and is downright irresponsible. In this film's world, all adults are idiots with serious intelligence deficiencies, and nonexistent morals. It's only the three kids who are smart enough to stop the evil pancake house corporation from killing the little endangered owls. Of course they break the law, and commit vandalism while doing this but suffer no consequences, because it's for what the film makers deem a good cause. What this really amounts to is encouraging eco-terrorism. I guess the film makers modeled the adults in the film after themselves. Not a hoot. 1 Star Out of 5
Horton Hears A Who - 20th Century Fox - Rated G
Jim Carrey should do more animation work. His exceptional vocal talents help make Horton Hears a Who a very fun, very good and endearing movie that stays true to the heart of the Dr. Seuss book, while adding enough comic moments to keep the whole family involved and entertained. I loved it! 4 stars Out of 5
The Host
Terrifying and hilarious, The Host has been called one of the greatest monster movies ever made…I agree. It's a bit of a cross between Tremors, Godzilla and a road film, but this has great special effects, a modern sense of humor and is a sly commentary on society. Mostly, it's just a jump-filled, rocking blast! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Hostage
Hostage is a surprisingly good film. Bruce Willis returns to the action genre in fine style, with a degree of realism not found in his earlier movies. He is very good. There aren't any catch phrases, or comedic lines as the bad guys blow up. This is a dark film, which is very involving, and has a great look and feel. The action is riveting. Bruce Willis' daughter Rumer is present in the film, but is not seen enough to truly judge her on any acting talent that she may, or may not have inherited.
3 Stars Out of 5
Hostel
I am more and more alarmed at what passes for horror these days. Hostel doesn't aim to scare as much as it wants to disgust. Closeup shots of toes and fingers being cut off or eyes being snipped out alarmed me, but I wasn't scared for even a second. I wanted to be scared, but this movie just made me want to run out of the theater. 2 Stars Out of 5
Hostel: Part 2
Hostel: Part 2 doesn't focus at all on frightening us. It is in the torture-porn business and knows it. Nary a fright in the entire film, its sole purpose is to titillate its audience with sadistic, gruesome scenes that most certainly will inspire a whole new generation of serial killers. The film makers must be so proud! Decapitation, people having various body parts removed, and a real blood bath are only part of what this film contains. That this passes for mainstream "entertainment" is what I find most appalling. (And a scene involving large scissors and male genitalia gives the term "whacking off" a whole new meaning!)
1 Star Out of 5
The Hot Chick
This is a crass, gender-bending movie that is long on laughs, but short on good taste. I like Rob Schneider. He is very entertaining as a woman in a man's body. Sure it's been done better before, but there's a lot to like if you want a goofy, rude way to kill some time. 3 stars Out of 5
Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz is no Shawn of the Dead. And that's too bad. It has a lot of the right elements, a great cast, and obvious reverence for its subject. But it is about 30 minutes too long, and the jokes are only partly successful. It's funny, just not that funny. 3 Stars Out of 5
Hot Rod
Hot Rod is silly, stupid and yes, pretty darn funny. Starring Saturday Night Live's Andy Samberg, it'll make you laugh. 3 1/2 Stars Out of 5.
Hotel Rwanda
Hotel Rwanda is a heart wrenching and powerful film. Don Cheadle and Sophie Okonedo are magnificent in their Oscar nominated roles. Nick Nolte also does a terrific job as a United Nations peace keeper powerless to help. Tragic, but ultimately uplifting, this is a film about standing up to evil, and the relentless optimism of the human spirit.
5 Stars Out of 5
The Hours
The Hours isn't a film that you'd want to watch if you want to lift your spirits…that said, there are some brilliant performances…most notably Ed Harris, who is one of my very favorite actors, as a poet suffering from the ravages of AIDS. He is absolutely stunning. This is a well-crafted film, with difficult subject matter and one of the years best. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
House of 1000 Corpses
This is intensely graphic, twisted and disturbing. It is reminiscent of Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and tends to copy a lot of it. That said, Rob Zombie does show a little bit of flair as a director. He also wrote this, but doesn't seem to have much flair for originality, dialogue or storytelling. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
House of Flying Daggers
House of Flying Daggers is another quality Chinese export. It has subtitles, but isn't hard to follow. It is a beautiful film with plenty of action, and a beautiful star. The story keeps you involved, but is a little thin, This isn't a Crouching Tiger, but is pretty good. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
House of the Dead
House of the Dead is the latest video game turned movie. it reminds us of the fact that it is a video game constantly by intercutting clips from the video game into the movie! It's about as much fun as watching someone else play a video game for an hour and a half. Clint Howard is the biggest star in this movie and he tries to play an old salt of the sea type with embarrassing results. This movie stinks like his dead fish. 1 1/2 Stars Out of 5
House Of Wax
House Of Wax does a decent job at what it wants to do. Give us an uneasy feeling of dread and treat us to some good old fashioned slasher fun. The film is brutal - really brutal. We see decapitation, a finger cut off, a skinning, an impalement, a relentless baseball bat beating…this earns its R rating. But if you like this kind of film, you won't be disappointed. It's got a stupid plot, Paris Hilton can't act her way out of a molten wax building, but some will revel in the fact that we get to see her die.
3 Stars Out of 5
How She Move - Paramount - Rated PG-13
How She Move is a typical urban dance movie but with a big twist! This time it's about a girl with a heart of gold who's surrounded by thugs and struggles to get out of the inner city by dancing. And, it's got wooden acting and contrived dramatic moments like this: "You think your step is better than mine? Bring it!" Dancing and posturing ensues. Skip it. 2 Stars Out of 5
How To Eat Fried Worms
If the notion of eating worms nauseates you, don't see How To Eat Fried Worms. There is lots of it here. They are fried, boiled, pureed, used as omelet ingredients, and just plain eaten raw. There are plenty of gag inducing moments in this mostly pleasant kids film with a good message. The only problem is, you need an iron stomach to get to it. 3 Stars Out of 5
How to Deal
Mandy Moore has the potential to be a fine actress some day. She shows depth, range and real emotion in her latest movie, How to Deal. But she has to start picking better movies than this. This is a depressing mix of bad news and bad decisions, including a pot smoking Grandma that nobody seems to mind. The balance of the acting in this picture is cartoonish and overly broad. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days
"Who's manipulating who?" is the big question in this funny and very likable piece of romantic fluff. Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson are better than the story here, and make this a better movie than it would be if they weren't in it. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Hulk
If they took all the action sequences in Hulk and put them together, you'd have a pretty good movie. It would only last 15 minutes, but it would be a good 15 minutes. And that's a shame because the movie lasts 2 hours and 17 minutes. As it is, Hulk ends up being way too long, dark, humorless, gloomy, and yes, boring. With dialogue sequences that seem to last forever. I thought this was a summer action movie! But, it is a full 40 minutes before anything happens. I found myself checking my watch praying for the end to come at last! 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Hunted
In The Hunted we never really believe what is going on. We don't believe that Tommy Lee Jones is capable of what he is supposed to be able to do. He is supposed to be an expert tracker and survivalist capable of training people to be human killing machines. Later, he says he's never killed anyone. And he certainly doesn't look like someone who could accomplish much the way he hobbles around and looks almost frail at times. We don't really believe Benicio Del Toro's motive for killing hunters. We never believe the plot. It is mostly implausible, has large holes in logic and just seems to jump from one mostly boring action sequence to another. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Hustle and Flow
Hustle and Flow is a better than the average urban drama. This is well acted, smart and somewhat inspirational. It doesn't fall into the cliché that most of its cousins do. It tells the story of a drug dealing pimp who wants to be a rapper, and pull himself out of the street. Terrence Howard's terrific performance helps to make this film, along with Anthony Anderson (who for once doesn't overact) and, surprisingly, DJ Qualls. One thing that really bothered me is the pimp keeps on pimping and finds nothing wrong with it, to fund the recording of his CD. He even calls his main prostitute, his primary investor. But the movie is full of surprises, and feels fresh and original. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
