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The Game Plan - Disney - Rated PG
In The Game Plan, the self absorbed quarterback gets his heart melted by the bratty precocious kid who also gets the big burly football players to play with dolls and dance ballet.  You know the formula.  It's a too long and syrupy Daddy Day Care meets The Longest Yard meets The Pacifier with the added bonus of an oh so whimsical and irritating musical score.  Although The Rock is still the most likable thing here, the entire movie is painful and fumbles repeatedly.  I'm giving this one a penalty for bad acting, a bad script and thinking its audience is dumb enough to think this is funny.  Punt it!  2 Stars Out of 5

Garfield A Tail of Two Kitties
Coughing up a fir ball would be more interesting to watch than Garfield A Tail of Two Kitties.  This amounts to a totally unnecessary excuse to pick your pocket.  It's just more bad computer animation, and more lame attempts at humor.  Why Bill Murray did this a second time has me wondering who he owes favors to and why?  The first was terrible…this is worse.  1 ½ Stars Out of 5
 
Garfield The Movie
Some movies have it, Garfield the Movie doesn't. Bad computer animation that combines live action humans and animals with a computer animated Garfield doesn't work. You never believe Garfield is really there, and it's just not funny. Jennifer Love Hewitt is the only good part of this film, and she is underused. A two-year-old might like it because of the pretty colors. The rest of us can skip it.  1 1/2 Stars Out of 5

Georgia Rule
If you want to see a tarted up, obnoxious Lindsay Lohan you need only look as far as the internet gossip pages.  Or, you can pay for the privilege and watch Georgia Rule.  She struts and jiggles her way through an embarrassing performance that mirrors her real life.  She even takes off her panties for a Mormon boy!.  The film supposedly takes place in Idaho, but it's obvious the film makers have never set foot in the state.  Did you know that we don't have doctors here in I-dee-ho?  Nope, we just go to the vet, and he fixes us up along with our pig!  This mess is idiotic, pointless nonsense.  1 Star Out of 5

Get Rich Or Die Tryin
50 Cent, or Curtis Jackson's Get Rich or Die Tryin' is the rapper's attempt at putting his life onscreen.  He has the charisma of mud.  Even when he raps he mumbles!  This movie begs the question, "How did he get into show biz?"  I can't believe this film was made.  It is an absolute failure.  1 Star Out of 5

Ghost Ship
Ghost Ship was sunk before it ever left the dock! There are no real scares and it's really not all that creepy...Juliana Marguiles is the only bright spot in an otherwise tired story that contains no surprises. If you want scares, see "The Ring."1 ½ Stars Out of 5

Ghost Rider
From the trailer, I thought Ghost Rider looked pretty stupid.  Turns out, I was only half right.  It has a good sense of humor, and never takes itself too serious.   Star Nicolas Cage is a little over the top, but generally pulls off what could have been a stupid role under less capable hands.  The special effects are a little on the cheesy side, but are serviceable.  Yes, the story is on the stupid side, but if you check your brain at the door, Ghost Rider is a very enjoyable wild ride.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5
 
Ghosts of the Abyss
James Cameron has done a very good job with this documentary that tells the story of Titanic's sinking and explores the wreckage. I only have two complaints. I wanted to see more of the actual exploration of the ship itself, and second, occasionally they would mention something that they wouldn't show. At one point, a scientist tells of seeing a shoe still laced up, but don't show it. At another point they tell of evidence that people went back into their cabins after the lifeboats were all launched, but don't tell you what the evidence is. I suppose after filming some 900 hours of film that we'll see more in the DVD version. But overall, this is a rich experience, and one that I didn't want to end.
4 Stars Out of 5
 
 
Gigli
Gigli isn't as bad as many are saying. It is not the worst movie ever made. In my opinion, that distinction goes to "Freddie Got Fingered" and "Jackass the Movie." But you can believe those that say this is a bad film. It's really crude. And stupid. Not to mention offensive in many ways to many different people. This movie features some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard in a movie. And it seems like there was no rehearsal in this movie…the actors recite their lines as if they are reading them for the first time. Ben and Jen will probably emerge from this stinker in the long run relatively unscathed, but this is downright painful at times.  1 Star Out of 5

The Girl Next Door
The Girl Next Door has a few moments, but is a disappointment.  Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch are both so appealing you may overlook the tawdry subject matter and lack of laughs…This movie wants to be "Risky Business", but ends up just being about business…the business of removing money from your wallet, promising much, but delivering little. 
2 Stars Out of 5
 
Girl With A Pearl Earring
Girl With A Pearl Earring moves so slow you'll think seeing paint dry is exciting.  But it does offer an interesting glimpse into the way art is inspired by everyday life.  Colin Firth is more energetic than we usually see him, while Scarlett Johansen does most of her acting with her eyes.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5

Glory Road
Glory Road is the latest in a long string of Disney sports movies.  They all follow the same formula and have the same basic elements.  This one tosses in racial equality along with the baskets and makes this a not quite so typical formulaic sports movie.  Derek Luke and Josh Lucas deliver standout performances, and more drama takes place off the court as the team battles the bigotry in the south in the 1960's.  That element makes it a great film to bring your older kids to.  This movie won me over!  3 ½ Stars Out of 5
 
Gods and Generals
Gods and Generals is amateurish, horribly directed and there is no editing anywhere in sight. This lasts a tortuous 3 hours and 49 minutes! Have you ever watched deleted scenes on a DVD where the director says he had to cut this scene or that scene because it slowed the movie down? Well they can't do that on this one because they'd have to cut the whole movie! There are good actors in this but you can't tell by watching it. The acting is positively wooden. Produced by Ted Turner, (who's also in it) this is not just a re-telling of the civil war, it's a re-writing! There are historical inaccuracies, and loads of unintentionally funny, horribly written dialogue. There is nothing compelling in this ponderous and excruciatingly slow lump. I seriously considered leaving during the intermission. But, duty compelled me to wallow through the additional hour and 45 minutes. Oh, and when Stonewall Jackson dies, you can still see him breathing. Gods and Generals is ungodly long and generally bad!  1 ½ Stars Out of 5
 

Godsend
Godsend has an interesting premise, but rather jumbled logic that promises much but delivers almost nothing but a few cheap jumps. All of the talent is wasted in a movie that should have gone straight to video…
2 Stars Out of 5
 
The Golden Compass - New Line - Rated PG-13
If you were wondering if The Golden Compass will turn your kids into atheists after watching it, I doubt it will do much of anything for anyone's spiritual lives or lack thereof.  Nothing much happens for the first hour or so, followed by some half hearted action done by some half hearted computer generated animals.  Not terribly compelling, it suffers from poor writing, unfocused direction and the worst sin of all: it's boring.  Dakota Blue Richards who plays the films young lead, does her best to inject some life, but the film gets bogged down by its shear size and by trying to explain too much.  This Golden Compass's gold turned green and it can't find its way.  2 ½ Stars Out of 5

Gone Baby Gone - Miramax - Rated R
Gone Baby Gone is way more than it appears to be.  It is intense, twisty and very, very good.  Ed Harris is as always, brilliant and Casey Affleck is great, but the surprise here is Ben Affleck may have found his true calling.  Directing!  4 ½ Stars Out of 5

Good Boy
Good Boy is a delightful family film that will warm your heart, and make you and your kids hug your dog. If you don't have a dog, you'll want one after seeing this. Liam Aiken is great as the kid who adopts an alien dog. Voice work by Carl Reimer, Brittany Murphy and Matthew Broderick add much to an already good cast.  3 Stars Out of 5

Good Luck Chuck
The film makers of Good Luck Chuck need a lesson in "know your limits."  Dane Cook isn't a romantic leading man, Jessica Alba can't do comedy, and this isn't a lighthearted romantic comedy.  The film doesn't know its limits or those of its leads.  It has only two jokes…she's clumsy and he's the guy every girl wants so she can find Mr. Right.  Problem is, Jessica Alba can't do pratfalls or much else (besides look stunning) and Dane Cook is Mr. Wrong.  He gets more irritating and creepy with every movie he makes.  The movie ends up being predictable and viciously crude with loads of nudity; chock full of things too perverse for some porn sites!  Good Luck Chuck is Upchuck muck - Yuck.  1 Star Out of 5

Good Night and Good Luck
Good Night and Good Luck is the latest film directed by George Clooney.  David Strathairn as Edward R. Murrow doesn't just play him…he becomes him.  His performance is nothing short of jaw-dropping.  The film is well acted all around by a superb cast.  We know why Clooney made the film, and he makes parallels to today in it, but it's not too heavy handed.  It is interesting and well done.  4 Stars Out of 5

The Good Thief
Nick Nolte's performance is the highlight of this somewhat uneven film. He has never been better, and he takes a mediocre script and makes it highly watchable. The plot is a bit muddled, and made more so by creative film techniques don't really work. Especially irritating is the freeze frame before most scene changes, that remind me of when my DVD player is malfunctioning.  3 Stars Out of 5

A Good Year
A Good Year is a bland, predictable, but nice looking film with a performance from Russell Crowe that borders on farce.  He proves he can't do comedy.  So does the director Ridley Scott.  This may have grand aspirations, but it fails.  2 ½ Stars Out of 5

Gothika
I liked Gothika until the end. I thought Halle Berry convincingly carried the film. There are some good jumps and scares, and it really had me until the last 15 minutes or so when things start to really fall apart. It seems like the film makers cut out huge sections of the film! I wondered if the theater forgot to put a reel in! But no, I saw the whole thing…and boy does it have big holes in it.  3 Stars Out of 5

Gracie
Gracie is bland and predictable.  It all comes down to the performance of the lead actress.  She just didn't quite sell it.  I never felt that she had the passion to be the only girl on a boy's soccer team.  She looked tentative at best.  Even with all the piles and piles of sports movie clichés, Gracie doesn't have anything that scored a goal with me.  2 ½ Stars Out of 5

Grandma's Boy
Grandma's Boy has one joke and loads of dope.  And that wears thin awful fast.  The lead actor looks a lot like Mel Gibson.  Maybe some day he'll make a worthwhile movie with Mel, playing his brother or something.  But this movie is a complete waste of time.  And Shirley Jones should have known better.  Her performance in this film is nothing short of embarrassing and shameful.    1 ½ Stars Out of 5

The Great Raid
The Great Raid is a great movie.  It's  intense and gut wrenching.  You feel like you are in the middle of the action.  The performances are top rate with both Benjamin Bratt and James Franco giving top shelf and believable turns.  This is easily one of the best war movies I've ever seen.  It is a terrific movie.  4 ½ Stars Out of 5

The Greatest Game Ever Played
The Greatest Game Ever Played is an inspirational film with lots of interesting camera tricks to keep us interested and involved.    This is director Bill Paxton's second film, and it suffers from some directorial clunkiness.  Shia LeBeouf does a decent job as the subject of the film, but Josh Flitter as the young Eddie, who plays the main character's caddie, is terrific!  He steals every scene he's in.  After his character is introduced, the film improves dramatically.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5

Greendale
Greendale is a vanity project for musician Neil Young, who wrote, directed, filmed, and performed the score.  It is so grainy, it looks like it was filmed on a budget of a dollar ninety-eight.  There is no dialogue in this film.  It is a series of about 10 music videos strung together with the actors pantomiming the songs.  This is only for the most hard core fans of Neil Young, and even they will find it hard to sit through the whole thing.  I like Neil Young for a song or two, but this ultra-political, heavy-handed, tedious, boring, amateur mess had me running for the door when it was through.  While I was watching I kept hearing a voice in my head say, "Make it stop!  Please, make it stop!"
1 Star Out of 5

Gridiron Gang
In The Gridiron Gang, The Rock rocks!  He plays a real life person in a true story.  Say what you will about him, but he has an undeniable screen charisma that goes a long way in this surprisingly good, inspirational, juvenile-criminals-play-football-in-prison film that at times borders on cheesy but never crosses that line.  I really liked it.  3 ½ Stars Out of 5
 
Grind
The teens didn't stop talking in the theater the whole time while I watched Grind, but it didn't matter. Dude, this is 2 hours of endless skateboard stunts mixed with potty humor...1 ½ Stars Out of 5

Grindhouse
The two movies that make up Grindhouse are both very good in their own way, but would probably have worked better if they were played in reverse order.  Robert Rodrigues' Planet Terror is an over the top zombie splatter-fest that is a non-stop load of fun without a dull moment.  It was my favorite of the two.  Tarantino's Death Proof starts slower and is much more dialogue driven, as Tarantino films tend to be, but ends with a car chase that is such a white knuckler, you'll be glad you waited through the slower parts.  With the hilarious fake movie trailers separating the movies, Grindhouse is 3 hours of exploding, dripping and oozing entertainment.  4 Stars Out of 5

The Grudge
The Grudge is the scariest movie in years. This one really had my spine tingling. Over and over again the scares were plentiful, and the story involving. This film ranks with The Ring, The Exorcist, and The Sixth Sense in my list of all time scariest films. If you are a fan of films that jolt you, go see The Grudge!
4 Stars Out of 5

The Grudge 2
I was prepared to hate The Grudge 2.  Most horror sequels are pretty lousy.  I kept asking myself "Do I hate it yet?"  The answer was a resounding "No!"  I rather enjoyed myself!  Chills ran up and down my spine more than once while watching The Grudge 2 which intertwines three stories and continues and expands on the original.  Amber Tamblyn overacts a little bit, but overall this sequel lives up to the first.  It's got more than enough jumps and chills.  I had a great time.   3 ½ Stars Out of 5

The Guardian
The Guardian seems like we've seen it before.  And we have.  It's An Officer and a Gentleman rehash, with a little Top Gun thrown in. But those were both better movies.  Kevin Costner does OK here, but Ashton Kutcher can't quite shed his 70's show and Punk'd persona enough to make us believe he is the hurting, conflicted character that he's trying to be.   Save your money and wait for the DVD.  2 ½ Stars Out of 5

Guess Who
Guess Who is the latest example of why remakes are usually a bad idea.  It's also the latest example of an unfunny movie where the best parts are in the trailer.  The Original was an Oscar winner…this one might win a razzie or two for worst remake.  It is not funny, and at times downright embarrassing.  1 ½ Stars Out of 5
 
A Guy Thing
This is a good date movie with more laughs than I expected, but that falls off in the last third, and decays into silliness. Jason Lee and Julia Stiles don't really have much chemistry, but do pull off a marginal romance.  3 Stars Out of 5