Movie Review
Archive
C
Cabin Fever
Cabin Fever is bloody and gory, with a wry sense of humor and a few scares mixed in. The premise of a flesh-eating virus as the cause of the horror is not terribly original, but the film is. In addition to being bloody, it at times, is really funny. And you won't want to miss the scene after the credits. This earns every bit of it's R rating. And did I mention that it's really bloody? 3 Stars Out of 5
Capitalism: A Love Story - Overture Films - Rated R
Michael Moore's latest, Captalism: A Love Story should have been called, I Hate George W. Bush; or, Obama: A Love Story; or, I really Hate George W. Bush; or FDR: a Love Story; or Socialism: A Love Story or I REALLY, REALLY Hate George W. Bush. Yes, this is typical Moore stuff, but he's lost his sense of humor. There are situations that seemed faked with Moore's showboating, tired, self indulgent stunts. It's NOT a documentary, but rather, Moore's ramblings about what he thinks America should be like, which boil down to either Socialism or Anarchy. He's a wealthy man because of the very system he attacks here. Its premise is: if you want to make money you must be evil. He asked a Wall Street worker for some advice, and the worker replied, "Don't make any more movies." My sentiments exactly. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Capote
Capote is an extremely well made movie. Phillip Seymour Hoffman's portrayal of Truman Capote at first seemed like an impersonation, but as I settled into the movie, his performance grew richer for me and became the soul of the film. I loved its exploration into the author's feelings in relationship to his subject, and how it commanded his life for six years and ultimately, until he died. 4 Stars Out of 5
Captivity
Although Captivity has shades of Saw, it has less of the usual stuff found in torture-porn films, but it still has plenty for gore fans to like. One particularly nauseating scene involves body parts and a blender making an unusual protein shake. But wait, there's more! It also has love in a torture chamber, and extreme scrap booking! WOW! Elisha Cuthbert is easy on the eyes, and there is a mildly interesting twist, but that's not enough to make this anything worth 8.50, or two bucks for that matter…2 Stars Out of 5.
Cars
In the world of Cars, there are no humans or even any animals. The cars themselves are what we'd call human, with tractors for cows, and even the flies are shaped like VW bugs. There is a car race at the beginning and the audience is made up of cars who do the wave by turning on their headlights. Cars is another wildly imaginative and fun film from the great minds at Pixar. Packed with laughs and with a ton of heart, it's got something for everyone in the family. It really is terrific. 4 Stars Out of 5
Casino Royale
Casino Royale has an exciting opening sequence that grabs you right away, but is a little confusing at first until you realize that this movie pretends that the other 20-odd Bond films don't exist. It starts from the beginning of the Bond story but sets it in the present. Daniel Craig is strikingly different and very good in his first outing as 007. His isn't the ultra suave Bond we've come to know, but is a new, gritty, bleeding Bond. I was very skeptical, but I came out of the movie really liking him and the new direction! 4 stars Out of 5
Cat in the Hat
In Cat in the Hat I could never get past the point that that's Mike Myers in really bad makeup. Myers does his usual shtick here. It seems like his cat character is just a retread of other things he's done…you can pick out Coffee talk, Austin Powers, and other characters. But worse than that, this film has none of the charm of the book. It is soulless with a distinct lack of humor. It opts instead for gross out jokes and crass humor. At one point the cat picks up a mud covered garden implement and says "dirty ho!" What were they thinking? I'm supposed to explain that to a six-year-old? Now I offer this with apologies to Dr. Seuss:
This movie stinks
Oh yes it does
It is not good
like the book was
And you should stay at home
Don't go to your cars
This dog of a cat film
only gets 2 Stars
Catch A Fire
Catch A Fire features fine performances, most notably by star Derek Luke. The film is a true story of a man in South Africa in the days of apartheid who is wrongfully accused of terrorism and then turns to it. While apartheid was wrong, and is aptly depicted as vicious and cruel, I found myself torn with the idea of rooting for a terrorist, even though this film depicts him as a freedom fighter.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Catch and Release
Kevin Smith lifts Catch and Release far above other "chick flicks." His performance makes me wonder why he's not in front of the camera in more films. He steals every scene he's in. The always very watchable Jennifer Garner is also quite good in a surprisingly good movie. This chick flick has got enough for the guys too and makes for a pretty good date movie - just in time for Valentines Day. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Catch Me If You Can
Perfect casting and slick direction by Steven Spielberg makes Catch Me If You Can one of the years best! Leonardo DiCaprio plays Frank Abignale Jr. who was a master at deception and a brilliant forger all before age 18, and Tom Hanks is the FBI agent trying to catch him. They are great foils for one another and Christopher Walken is a real standout as Frank Abignale Senior. This movie is kick-in-the-pants fun! And I loved the really great score by John Williams. Don't miss it! You'll catch a great time at the movies. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Catch That Kid
Catch That Kid is another Spy Kids wannabe and is forgettable fluff except for a troubling concept. The movie shows us that breaking into a bank is OK if it's for a good reason. And besides, the guy that runs the bank is a meanie. My kids didn't want to see this and I'm glad they didn't.
2 Stars Out of 5
Catwoman
I don't know what Halle Berry was thinking when she agreed to make Catwoman. She is capable of greatness, but this isn't even as good as a hairball. This is a movie that is so bad it is laughable. At one point, I couldn't stop laughing when she rubbed catnip all over her face. It was an absolute embarrassment. The computer effects look like a bad video game. This movie should be tossed out with the kitty litter.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Cave
The Cave is…blah…no real scares, not much tension, it's a typical "who is the monster going to eat next" movie. In this one, the monster looks like someone poured white candle wax all over an alien and added wings. The movie is just another example of an interesting concept that had extremely poor execution. The one good thing about the movie is it has very silly dialogue, and that makes for quite a few unintended comic moments. 2 Stars Out of 5
Cellular
Cellular features loads of action that never lets up from the opening minutes. Of course there is one nagging question that comes to mind during the opening 15 minutes, but if logic were to prevail, we wouldn't have much of a movie. All of the action is non-stop, the acting is decent and this is a fun movie won't let up long enough for us to think…and that's a good thing.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Changeling - Universal - Rated R
With Changeling, director Clint Eastwood has crafted another probable Oscar nominee. Angelina Jolie gives a spectacular, understated performance with quiet dignity in a riveting true story exposing the brutal, medieval treatment of a woman who lost her son. While the film is about a harrowing subject, it is done with compassion. It shifts gears a bit, each time becoming more interesting and engrossing. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Charlie Bartlett - MGM - Rated R
Charlie Bartlett wants to be a spiritual brother to Ferris Buehler, and it is for the first half of the movie until suddenly it loses steam when it does an about face. Anton Yelchin as Charlie is brilliant and is the spark of the movie, but the script betrays his performance and the audience. 3 Stars Out of 5
Charlie Wilson's War - Universal - Rated R
Funny and very entertaining, Charlie Wilson's War is not a war movie, but rather a comic movie about the manipulations behind the scenes of a war. Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts are great, but it is Phillip Seymour Hoffman who steals every scene he's in and will probably get a supporting actor nomination. It is outrageous and supposedly true!
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Charlotte's Web
I loved every second of Charlotte's Web. Dakota Fanning delivers a great plucky performance as Fern, while the voice work for the animals is all top notch. I especially loved Steve Buscemi as Templeton the rat. The amazing animation makes you feel like those animals are absolutely real and they really do talk. The script pretty much sticks to the book while the photography is beautifully done. Charlotte's Web is terrific in every way. It's a real winner for those of all ages that love the book. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Chasing Liberty
Chasing Liberty has one thing going for it…Mandy Moore. She's really an appealing actress with some talent. But she keeps picking these less than great movies. Chasing Liberty has been done many times before and is a tired, tedious, monotonous chick flick with lot of scenery but not much story.
2 Stars Out of 5
Cheri - Miramax - Rated R
The period piece Cheri, stars Michelle Pfeiffer as a courtesan, who has a younger kept man. While it has some very good acting by Pfeiffer, and Kathy Bates, it is slow and plodding with only occasional moments of life, suffering from a glacial pace. I yawned all the way through it. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Chicago
Chicago is exuberant, exciting, and very musical! Sometimes there is only 15 seconds of dialogue between songs! It is a bit disconcerting at first seeing Richard Gere singing and dancing. But after you get over the shock, you'll find yourself really enjoying this magnificent movie spectacle.5 Stars Out of 5
Chicken Little
Disney is the studio that animation built. Chicken Little is their first entry into entirely computer animated movies. I'm sorry to say that Disney still has a ways to go to catch up to Pixar. It looks good, is fast and furious, has lots of inside jokes and pop culture gags, but not much story and contains nothing to draw us emotionally into the film. It's just one gag after another. Kids under 10 will probably like it, but it seems contrived and calculated. It tries too hard to razzle-dazzle us…Pixar's films seem effortless. It is funny, but it's missing a heart. 3 Stars Out of 5
Children of Men
Children of Men has a great premise, but fails on execution. It's really rather boring. If you're a Fan of Julianne Moore, you'll be disappointed in her performance in Children of Men. She's in the movie maybe ten minutes! Michael Cain is entertaining, but underused. Wait till it comes out on DVD. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Chloe - Sony - Rated R
Chloe is steamy. It starts with graphic sex talk and ends with…um…more than that. But this is more than a typical late night Skinamax movie. It is actually intriguing. Julianne Moore is an amazing actress. She's positively radiant and is the strength of the movie. The end is a bit of a let down, but the terrific performances by Moore and Amanda Seyfried make this movie one to see. Or, just wait and buy it, because there is one scene especially that will need to be viewed over and over…(and over…) 4 Stars Out of 5
Choke - Fox Searchlight - Rated R
In Choke, Sam Rockwell is quirky and very funny, while Angelica Huston is the best she's been in years. It's certainly not for everyone, but Choke is odd, subversive and hilarious. 4 Stars Out of 5
Christmas With the Kranks
Christmas with the Kranks won't be remembered with the Christmas classics. But it is somewhat amusing at times, and gets too sappy at the end. Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis put in reasonably good performances, but can't rescue this rather bland film.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - Disney - Rated PG
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is a very good follow up to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It boasts improved special effects, is packed with action and has a story that enthralls and entertains. While it is much darker than the previous film, and the cuddle factor isn't as high, there are still plenty of interesting creatures, most notably the outstanding Peter Dinklage as Trumpkin. There is lots of violence (but very little blood) so it might not be appropriate for the very young ones. It has a message, but is mostly great entertainment. It's a prince of a sequel! 4 Stars Out of 5
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe is a success on nearly every level. It is faithful to the book, and features an engaging group playing the four children. It is beautifully shot, and populated with all sorts of interesting characters. I especially loved the eye popping computer animation for Aslan the lion. He looks real. Some of the other animation suffers somewhat, looking like some corners were cut, but that is a minor point. This is a powerful and touching family movie that is never preachy, and always entertaining. It is a great movie! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Chronicles of Riddick
The Chronicles of Riddick wants to be an epic like The Lord of the Rings and ends up being more like Dick and Jane fight the Aliens. It has an irritating bombastic score, silly costumes that look like a horrible art deco accident in a plastics factory, and a bad overblown plot, not to mention the acting "talents" of Vin Diesel. Pray that the producers call it quits with this film instead of making the other two planned sequels.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cinderella Man
Whoever said "They don't make movies like that anymore," hasn't seen Cinderella Man. It proves they still do! This is the best movie so far this year, and maybe the best boxing movie ever. The cast is dynamite. Russell Crowe once again is nothing short of phenomenal. Renee Zellweger adds so much spark to the film, that it wouldn't be half the movie with another actress in the role. And Paul Giamatti shows why he is the best character actor working in movies today. Cinderella man is exciting and emotional. The boxing sequences are terrific. My palms were sweaty and I knew how the fight ended! Don't miss this great, great movie.
5 Stars Out of 5
A Cinderella Story
A Cinderella Story has nothing original. It's another puffy piece of predictable, very forgettable teen girl fluff. It's time for Hillary Duff to show us if she can do anything that even resembles serious acting. My daughter liked it better than I did, but I thought it was almost as funny as a bad sitcom that is cancelled after two shows.
2 Stars Out of 5
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - Universal - Rated PG-13
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is a vampire tale that has no teeth. It is macabre is a very mild way. It's not quite as scary as finding mold on a piece of month old bread, or scratching a chalkboard with your fingernails. Speaking of fingernails, these vampires don't bite. They draw blood with their fingernails. OOH! The horror! I'm gonna stab you with my scary, scary fingernails! Oh, wait, I can't, I've got to get a manicure. 2 stars Out of 5
City By the Sea
If you want a feel-good movie that will get you out of the dulldrums go see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." If you want a depressing dirge of a movie based on a true story that will make you feel all is lost go see "City By The Sea." Robert DeNiro plays another cop (enough said), Frances McDormand is wasted here in a role with no meat, and the lone standout is incredibly talented James Franco who is terrific as the estranged drug-addict son. This is a bleak, heavy, gritty, dark, downer of a movie that only partially redeems itself in the last five minutes.3 Stars Out of 5 (the stars are all for James Franco's performance)
City Island - Anchor Bay - Rated PG-13City Island has a lot going on under the surface. Nobody is what they seem at the beginning. And this soon leads to hilarious results. This wonderfully crafted, extremely entertaining movie contains rich characters great acting and is absolutely delightful in every way! Add in a fantastic climax and it all adds up to one of the best times I've had at the movies in years…5 Stars Out of 5
City of Ember - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
City of Ember looks impressive. But what happens in it is kind of bland. The movie is mediocre, although Bill Murray is kind of fun as mayor of the city. There are a few moments of life, but it didn't light my fire, City of Ember fizzles. 2 ½ stars Out of 5
Clash of the Titans - Warner Brothers - Rated PG-13
The first thing to know about Clash of the Titans is you can skip the 3-D. Aside from the opening minute and a half or so, it adds nothing to the movie. The 3-D was an afterthought, and it shows, only accomplishing the removal of extra cash from your wallet. Now, the movie itself is a remake of the 1980's Ray Harryhausen stop motion classic. It has a nod to the original, but this one has all CGI effects. Some are cheesy, but most are serviceable. The film is washed out and cheap looking. It's loud, but it drags from time to time. Even all that noise can't keep it from getting sleepy. It's not terrible, but far from a titan. 3 Stars Out of 5
Clerks II
Clerks II is a worthy sequel that stays true to the original film and its characters, with the witty dialogue we expect from a Kevin Smith film. It's riotous, crude, filthy and very, very funny. A scene with a donkey described as "Interspecies erotica" is gleeful in its obscenity, and I have no idea why this film got by with an R rating! Maybe the film board was laughing as hard as I was, and forgot to write NC-17 on the card! If you look deep, you will find that this film also has a heart and as much love for the characters as fans of the original have…4 Stars Out of 5
The Clearing
The Clearing is a thriller that's not so thrilling. As a matter of fact, it's about as exciting as watching a weed grow. It doesn't happen all that fast, and what you get when it's done isn't all that great. This film snoozes it's way through 90 of the longest minutes you'll ever spend in a theater. Even with great actors Robert Redford, Willem Dafoe and Helen Miren, you can safely clear The Clearing from your list of films to see…
2 Stars Out of 5
Click
Click is kind of like Adam Sandler's version of It's a Wonderful Life, but his version is sappier and a bit heavy handed. And of course there are crass jokes about bodily functions. Click not only wants you to see how to appreciate your life, but also preaches against junk food, workaholics, and middle aged men wearing speedos. I wanted to laugh, and I did, but not as much as I thought I would. It gets too preachy and the comedy gets lost in the message. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Closer
Closer is not a likable movie. Sure, you have four high caliber stars, Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen, But every character has something about them that you really dislike. If you believe in love and the general goodness of people, avoid Closer at all costs…it manages to show that people and their relationships are scum no matter how good-looking they are.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - Sony - Rated PG
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs contains some fun sight gags and is somewhat quirky, but runs out of steam and runs out of story towards the end. It has some great visuals that aren't helped all that much by 3-D. Unlike many stars, Anna Faris and Mr. T. prove to be pretty good at voicing animation. This has lots for kids to enjoy, and a few tasty morsels for the adults too. 3 Stars Out of 5
Cloverfield - Paramount - Rated PG-13
At amusement parks there is a warning before you get on a ride to skip it if you get motion sickness. Cloverfield needs such a warning. After sitting though 84 minutes of the worst camera work ever, both my wife and I felt queasy and had headaches. If you can watch the screen long enough to see them through all of the jumpy camera work, it's got great special effects and some good scares. But it is a bleak film with no music and has more than one scene that reminds us of 9/11. If you see it, bring the Dramamine. 3 Stars Out of 5
Coach Carter
When I was a kid I liked to build models. Cement piece "A" onto piece "B." It was simple but eventually you got what you wanted. That's what Coach Carter feels like. The director bought the model kit for "Sport Movie" and glued this piece to that one. But, how many times are they going to make this movie? It's all been done before. It's only Samuel L. Jackson's inspired performance that raises this film from "loser" to "player."
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Coco Before Chanel - Sony Pictures Classics - Rated PG-13
Coco Before Chanel is nice to look at but Audrey Tautou is dour, and the film is dry. Shouldn't we have seen her rise to the top of the fashion world instead of her boring life beforehand? It's like Disney before movies, or LeBron before Basketball…do we care? I didn't. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Codename: The Cleaner
Cedric is not so entertaining in Codename: The Cleaner. It's another in a long string of movies he's made that haven't been entertaining at all. There is a brief glimmer in one scene involving some Dutch dancers, but overall this unfunny film is pretty stupid. If he doesn't start making better films, Cedric the Entertainer is going to have to change his name.
2 Stars Out of 5
Cold Creek Manor
Cold Creek Manor left me cold! It plods along and nothing happens for the first hour…then what does happen is predictable with no surprises. At the end you'll swear you've seen this all before…You have…in a dozen movies.2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cold Souls - Samuel Goldwyn Films - Rated PG-13
Cold Souls is amusing at times, very odd, but never boring. Paul Giamatti plays himself in a world where souls are removable and interchangeable. He is outstanding, but the movie left my soul a little cold. 3 stars Out of 5
The Collector - Freestyle Releasing - Rated R
In The Collector, a guy's baby mama owes loan sharks, so he breaks into his vacationing boss's house to steal some jewelry. Problem is, that house is already occupied by a guy in a mask who has filled the house with all kinds of torturous devices designed to cut, gash, stab and puncture in brutal and hideous ways. Think Saw. No shocker there, since the writer-director also wrote three Saw sequels. This isn't quite torture porn, teasing at it instead. He almost cuts off a woman's tongue with garden shears. It is hard-core horror to be sure. You see the aftermath of the more graphic kills. I'm not saying this isn't graphic, oh, it is - and then some. There is no real plot or story, just a lot of mayhem - involving bear traps, razor blades, fish hooks and an acid goulash. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
College - MGM - Rated R
If your idea of fun is watching someone drink body shots through someone's hairy plumber's crack, College is for you. It just made me gag. 2 Stars Out of 5
College Road Trip - Disney - Rated G
I try to find at least one thing I like about every movie I see. For the life of me, I couldn't find anything to like in College Road Trip. This is so heinous I could scarcely watch. It's filled with loud, obnoxious slapstick, never ending mugging for the camera, and fake, syrupy, sappy moments. Martin Lawrence used to be my least favorite movie star. But now it's the even more hideous Raven Symone who out-mugs her ever-mugging co-star. She doesn't even know the meaning of the word subtle. But she's only the worst part of this all around vomit-inducing monstrosity that had me begging the question, "And this is funny why?" along with "Could this be any more irritating?" and "Please, won't someone just put me out of my mysery?" I loathed every second. ½ Star Out of 5
The Comebacks - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
The Comebacks is like Epic Movie, Scary Movie, or Not Another Teen Movie except this one is about sports movies. No real plot here, it's just vignettes strung together with lots of phallic jokes thrown in for good measure. Problem is, 99% of the jokes stink like the locker room after quadruple overtime with washing day two weeks overdue. 1 Star Out of 5
The Condemned
The Condemned has hideously bad acting and camera work so jerky you can't see what's going on. It is long on attitude and posturing and short on everything that makes a good movie. It's a cross between Survivor on steroids, The Running Man and a snuff film. All it really is, is a self righteous manure assault. Give the condemned a lethal injection. 1 Star Out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
In Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, George Clooney proves he can direct as well as act, and Sam Rockwell proves he is an A-plus actor in this quirky but unpretentious movie about Gong Show host and game show producer Chuck Barris. And besides, seeing Julia Roberts lick Sam Rockwell's face is worth the price of admission all by itself! It's not an Oscar winner, but is worth 4 Stars Out of 5.
Confessions of a Shopaholic - Touchstone - Rated PG
The chick-flick romantic comedy Confessions of a Shopaholic stars the adorable and very appealing Isla Fisher. It has moments that are contrived and excruciating, but Fisher rescues the film from its ill-timed self, with cuteness, physical comedy and some real warmth. There's only a little buyers remorse with Shopaholic. 3 Stars Out of 5
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Lindsay Lohan is going to be a big star. She has a great screen presence. She showed us her acting chops in Freaky Friday. In Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, there really isn't much acting. It's more about fashion and music. The movie has very little substance and is about as fluffy as the hairdos…My preteen daughter and her friend loved it. 3 Stars Out of 5
Confidence
It isn't often that a film works as superbly as "Confidence" does. This is inventive, and smart, with a great script, and terrific performances from every single member of the cast. Edward Burns carries the film but Dustin Hoffman's disturbed mob boss is one of his most entertaining characters ever. Don't miss this absolutely outstanding, fun movie that is easily one of the years very best! You'll probably want to watch it again just to make sure what happened, really happened! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Connie and Carla
Connie and Carla has a fun concept, women posing as men posing as female inpersonators. The stars Nia Vardalos and Toni Collette are appealing but the film ultimately fails. It becomes less and less believable until it crashes into an excruciating ending. And the films numerous musical numbers soon begin to feel like padding for a thin plot. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener has some great performances from Ralph Fiennes and the luminescent Rachel Weisz. The movie has a definite slanted opinion on the war in Iraq and on those evil drug companies, but the performances make it watchable. But the movie itself, made me seasick! The constant movement of the camera had my stomach so tied up in knots, that after the movie was over, I had to down several Rolaids. If you are prone to motion sickness, skip this one or take some Dramamine before going. Both of the products I mentioned, by the way, are made by drug companies. And if that's not irony, I don't know what is! 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Constantine
Terrific special effects with slightly flawed execution highlight Constantine. It's a cross between Dirty Harry and The Exorcist. The visuals are stunning and the plot interesting. Keanu Reeves does a pretty good job, although his recitations of Bible verses were comic. But I liked the film, and am looking forward to the sequels.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Cookout
The Cookout is another lame attempt at edgy urban comedy. It features really bad acting, especially from Danny Glover and Farrah Fawcett. Queen Latifah produced it, and appears in it as an overzealous security guard. She is the best part of it. Here and there the film throws a few sparks, but this cookout runs out of gas early.
2 Stars Out of 5
The Cooler
Great direction and great performances make The Cooler one not to miss. I loved the Vegas style jazz soundtrack, but most of all, I loved the story.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cop Out - Warner Brothers - Rated R)
Cop Out is an homage to 1980's buddy cop movies. Director Kevin Smith works in plenty of nods including a synth music score that Eddie Murphy would be proud of. Bruce Willis does his bald tough guy and Tracey Morgan just seems to drool for the first third of the movie. He lets loose a couple of quarts of saliva easily. I just about got sick. But then someone must have given him a cookie or something because he turned off the spit faucet and the movie actually got rather funny. But it is Seann William Scott who steals the movie. He is hilarious in every scene he's in. This comedy is no cop out…3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Coraline - Focus Features - Rated PG
Coraline's strength lies in its magical, stop motion animation and unusual style. It could be scary for little kids and even sensitive adults. Not in a gotcha type of way, but in a deep psychological sense. The imagery could spur nightmares. The 3-D isn't gimicky, but immerses you into the interesting, imaginative story. Older kids and adults will love it. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Core
You must check your brain at the door, and then some, if you want to be able to sit through this epic piece of scientific nonsense. Hillary Swank's shuttle astronaut character just knows everything and is the most irritating character in a movie in a long time. At one point she walks into a lab and fiddles with a project she's never seen before, and improves it. I burst out laughing at this movie's stupidity over and over again. Oh, and the dialogue and acting are pretty lame too. 2 Stars Out of 5
Corpse Bride
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride is imaginative and dark, with twisted humor and an unexpected sweetness to it. It's not scary except perhaps for the smallest kids who might be afraid of skeletons. It has a kid-friendly thin plot and a very short run time, but it succeeded in capturing my attention with a great look, which makes the land of the living drab and colorless, while the land of the dead is bright and cheery. There are quite a few in-jokes for the parents, and its songs are lively and entertaining. It is great fun. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Country Bears
If you imagine the Blues Brothers with fur, you've just about got this movie. With an impressive array of cameos from Elton John to Queen Latifah, this movie starts with amazing animatronic bear suits and ends with an exuberant message about family. And it is good for the whole family. And, don't leave until the very end...3 Stars Out of 5
Couple's Retreat - Universal - Rated PG-13
Couple's Retreat seems to be an excuse for stars Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn (who also wrote it) to get a free trip to Bora Bora and smooch with the hottie actresses who play their mates. Problem is, they're the only ones having any fun. (And why is it that the paunchy, pale guys in movies always get hottie women?)
This movie is angry, with unlikeable characters, it is overlong and dreary. If your significant other wants to go to this movie, if you value your relationship, avoid it at all costs. The title tells you what to do. Retreat! 2 Stars Out of 5
The Covenant
The Covenant is yet another bad film from the ultimate director of bad films. Renny Harlin! This bland teen occult rumble movie sort of ambles along, completely devoid of jumps, scares, or anything to otherwise get your pulse racing. Other than an occasional laugh at the cartoonish cheep looking special effects, this one's a snoooozer! 2 stars Out of 5
Cradle 2 The Grave
Films of this quality are usually reserved for the Straight-To-Video section at the rental place. This has one of the most convoluted, laughably stupid, preposterous plots I have ever seen! The highlight of this film…is Tom Arnold. I probably don't need to go into too much further detail, but Jet Li and DMX should take the money that they earned from this and take acting lessons…In a word, Cradle 2 The Grave is stupid.1 Star Out of 5
Crank: High Voltage - Lionsgate - Rated R
If you dream of a movie that combines video games, eight cases of red bull on speed, and porn, get ready for nirvana. Crank: High Voltage rocks the limits of believability, and taste. This amped-up, hyper active, super violent, cinematic comic book-video game is absolute trash and revels in every second of it. It's hardcore, stretching the limits of its R rating, featuring everything from anal impalement, to extreme violence against breast implants, to porn stars, to sex on a racetrack with the stands full of onlookers. Some might call this high voltage, but I call it a short circuit.
2 Stars Out of 5
Crash
Crash is a film that revels in its contradictions. It will have you marveling at its complexity, and scratching your head at its negativity. It is superbly crafted and finely acted. But every character seems to have racist tendencies. It's not an uplifting film, but it is riveting. It holds your attention for every second, but you don't feel good doing it. It is a very good film, that you won't want to miss, but it may leave you feeling less than enthusiastic about the human race.
4 Stars Out of 5
The Crazies - Overture Films - Rated R
The Crazies is a vastly superior remake of the cheesy 1973 George Romero film. Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell are terrific in this zombie flick that's not really a zombie flick. It is very entertaining with lots of jumps, plenty of action, and generous doses of humor. It isn't crazy, it's just crazy good…4 Stars Out of 5
Crazy Heart - Fox Searchlight - Rated R
Jeff Bridges gives the best performance of his career in Crazy Heart. His portrayal of washed up country star Bad Blake is nothing short of a revelation. Add wonderful performances from Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Colin Farrell along with great music performed by the stars, a terrific story and you have a winner. Jeff Bridges…He Bad, and he's very, very good. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Criminal
Criminal is entertaining but pretty much follows the con man caper formula. I figured out who was getting conned right from the start. Likable performances from John C. Reilly and Diego Luna along with a great ensemble cast pepper the blandish script.
3 Stars Out of 5
The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course
I like Steve Irwin. His stuff on Animal Planet is great. He does more of the same in this movie. Then, there is a ridiculous, stupid plot about a satellite that crashes to earth. Inept CIA agents chase after it, but a croc has eaten it. It's REALLY bad. When the Irwin's are on, this is fun, but when they're not (which is over half the movie) this really stinks. If you want to see Steve Irwin, catch him on Animal Planet, don't waste your time with this film.2 Stars Out of 5
Cry Wolf is a typical cliché ridden teen slasher film that tries to be cute, but ends up being predictable trash. Jon Bon Jovi had been building up a respectable film career until now. I have no clue about what could have possessed him to take this picture. After this he'll be lucky to get a walk on in a Travel Channel show. 2 Stars Out of 5
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Paramount - Rated PG-13
Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett are terrific in this touching, emotional yarn about a man who ages backwards. The special effects are nothing short of jaw dropping! Let this movie work its magic on you! 4 1/2 Stars Out of 5
Curious George
Curious George is a movie that the little kids will love. It has a very tame and sweet story with lively animation. The traditional 2-D animation is bright and cheerful. There's not much for adults here, but the under 7 crowd should love it. 3 Stars Out of 5
Cursed
Cursed is an apt description of this movie. Director Wes Craven phoned it in. The computer generated special effects are awful, and Christina Ricci looks as if she is in a daze for most of the film. I felt cursed after seeing it.
1 Star Out of 5
Cyrus - Fox Searchlight - Rated R
Cyrus is a funny, quirky film that seems adlibbed while the camera work gives it an even more spontaneous feel. Marisa Tomei is wonderful, John C. Reilly is terrific, and Jonah Hill shows a new side, playing a creepy, passive aggressive type. This isn't a laugh riot but it is very amusing. The kid is alright. 3 Stars Out of 5
Archive
C
Cabin Fever
Cabin Fever is bloody and gory, with a wry sense of humor and a few scares mixed in. The premise of a flesh-eating virus as the cause of the horror is not terribly original, but the film is. In addition to being bloody, it at times, is really funny. And you won't want to miss the scene after the credits. This earns every bit of it's R rating. And did I mention that it's really bloody? 3 Stars Out of 5
Capitalism: A Love Story - Overture Films - Rated R
Michael Moore's latest, Captalism: A Love Story should have been called, I Hate George W. Bush; or, Obama: A Love Story; or, I really Hate George W. Bush; or FDR: a Love Story; or Socialism: A Love Story or I REALLY, REALLY Hate George W. Bush. Yes, this is typical Moore stuff, but he's lost his sense of humor. There are situations that seemed faked with Moore's showboating, tired, self indulgent stunts. It's NOT a documentary, but rather, Moore's ramblings about what he thinks America should be like, which boil down to either Socialism or Anarchy. He's a wealthy man because of the very system he attacks here. Its premise is: if you want to make money you must be evil. He asked a Wall Street worker for some advice, and the worker replied, "Don't make any more movies." My sentiments exactly. 1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Capote
Capote is an extremely well made movie. Phillip Seymour Hoffman's portrayal of Truman Capote at first seemed like an impersonation, but as I settled into the movie, his performance grew richer for me and became the soul of the film. I loved its exploration into the author's feelings in relationship to his subject, and how it commanded his life for six years and ultimately, until he died. 4 Stars Out of 5
Captivity
Although Captivity has shades of Saw, it has less of the usual stuff found in torture-porn films, but it still has plenty for gore fans to like. One particularly nauseating scene involves body parts and a blender making an unusual protein shake. But wait, there's more! It also has love in a torture chamber, and extreme scrap booking! WOW! Elisha Cuthbert is easy on the eyes, and there is a mildly interesting twist, but that's not enough to make this anything worth 8.50, or two bucks for that matter…2 Stars Out of 5.
Cars
In the world of Cars, there are no humans or even any animals. The cars themselves are what we'd call human, with tractors for cows, and even the flies are shaped like VW bugs. There is a car race at the beginning and the audience is made up of cars who do the wave by turning on their headlights. Cars is another wildly imaginative and fun film from the great minds at Pixar. Packed with laughs and with a ton of heart, it's got something for everyone in the family. It really is terrific. 4 Stars Out of 5
Casino Royale
Casino Royale has an exciting opening sequence that grabs you right away, but is a little confusing at first until you realize that this movie pretends that the other 20-odd Bond films don't exist. It starts from the beginning of the Bond story but sets it in the present. Daniel Craig is strikingly different and very good in his first outing as 007. His isn't the ultra suave Bond we've come to know, but is a new, gritty, bleeding Bond. I was very skeptical, but I came out of the movie really liking him and the new direction! 4 stars Out of 5
Cat in the Hat
In Cat in the Hat I could never get past the point that that's Mike Myers in really bad makeup. Myers does his usual shtick here. It seems like his cat character is just a retread of other things he's done…you can pick out Coffee talk, Austin Powers, and other characters. But worse than that, this film has none of the charm of the book. It is soulless with a distinct lack of humor. It opts instead for gross out jokes and crass humor. At one point the cat picks up a mud covered garden implement and says "dirty ho!" What were they thinking? I'm supposed to explain that to a six-year-old? Now I offer this with apologies to Dr. Seuss:
This movie stinks
Oh yes it does
It is not good
like the book was
And you should stay at home
Don't go to your cars
This dog of a cat film
only gets 2 Stars
Catch A Fire
Catch A Fire features fine performances, most notably by star Derek Luke. The film is a true story of a man in South Africa in the days of apartheid who is wrongfully accused of terrorism and then turns to it. While apartheid was wrong, and is aptly depicted as vicious and cruel, I found myself torn with the idea of rooting for a terrorist, even though this film depicts him as a freedom fighter.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Catch and Release
Kevin Smith lifts Catch and Release far above other "chick flicks." His performance makes me wonder why he's not in front of the camera in more films. He steals every scene he's in. The always very watchable Jennifer Garner is also quite good in a surprisingly good movie. This chick flick has got enough for the guys too and makes for a pretty good date movie - just in time for Valentines Day. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Catch Me If You Can
Perfect casting and slick direction by Steven Spielberg makes Catch Me If You Can one of the years best! Leonardo DiCaprio plays Frank Abignale Jr. who was a master at deception and a brilliant forger all before age 18, and Tom Hanks is the FBI agent trying to catch him. They are great foils for one another and Christopher Walken is a real standout as Frank Abignale Senior. This movie is kick-in-the-pants fun! And I loved the really great score by John Williams. Don't miss it! You'll catch a great time at the movies. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Catch That Kid
Catch That Kid is another Spy Kids wannabe and is forgettable fluff except for a troubling concept. The movie shows us that breaking into a bank is OK if it's for a good reason. And besides, the guy that runs the bank is a meanie. My kids didn't want to see this and I'm glad they didn't.
2 Stars Out of 5
Catwoman
I don't know what Halle Berry was thinking when she agreed to make Catwoman. She is capable of greatness, but this isn't even as good as a hairball. This is a movie that is so bad it is laughable. At one point, I couldn't stop laughing when she rubbed catnip all over her face. It was an absolute embarrassment. The computer effects look like a bad video game. This movie should be tossed out with the kitty litter.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Cave
The Cave is…blah…no real scares, not much tension, it's a typical "who is the monster going to eat next" movie. In this one, the monster looks like someone poured white candle wax all over an alien and added wings. The movie is just another example of an interesting concept that had extremely poor execution. The one good thing about the movie is it has very silly dialogue, and that makes for quite a few unintended comic moments. 2 Stars Out of 5
Cellular
Cellular features loads of action that never lets up from the opening minutes. Of course there is one nagging question that comes to mind during the opening 15 minutes, but if logic were to prevail, we wouldn't have much of a movie. All of the action is non-stop, the acting is decent and this is a fun movie won't let up long enough for us to think…and that's a good thing.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Changeling - Universal - Rated R
With Changeling, director Clint Eastwood has crafted another probable Oscar nominee. Angelina Jolie gives a spectacular, understated performance with quiet dignity in a riveting true story exposing the brutal, medieval treatment of a woman who lost her son. While the film is about a harrowing subject, it is done with compassion. It shifts gears a bit, each time becoming more interesting and engrossing. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Charlie Bartlett - MGM - Rated R
Charlie Bartlett wants to be a spiritual brother to Ferris Buehler, and it is for the first half of the movie until suddenly it loses steam when it does an about face. Anton Yelchin as Charlie is brilliant and is the spark of the movie, but the script betrays his performance and the audience. 3 Stars Out of 5
Charlie Wilson's War - Universal - Rated R
Funny and very entertaining, Charlie Wilson's War is not a war movie, but rather a comic movie about the manipulations behind the scenes of a war. Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts are great, but it is Phillip Seymour Hoffman who steals every scene he's in and will probably get a supporting actor nomination. It is outrageous and supposedly true!
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Charlotte's Web
I loved every second of Charlotte's Web. Dakota Fanning delivers a great plucky performance as Fern, while the voice work for the animals is all top notch. I especially loved Steve Buscemi as Templeton the rat. The amazing animation makes you feel like those animals are absolutely real and they really do talk. The script pretty much sticks to the book while the photography is beautifully done. Charlotte's Web is terrific in every way. It's a real winner for those of all ages that love the book. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Chasing Liberty
Chasing Liberty has one thing going for it…Mandy Moore. She's really an appealing actress with some talent. But she keeps picking these less than great movies. Chasing Liberty has been done many times before and is a tired, tedious, monotonous chick flick with lot of scenery but not much story.
2 Stars Out of 5
Cheri - Miramax - Rated R
The period piece Cheri, stars Michelle Pfeiffer as a courtesan, who has a younger kept man. While it has some very good acting by Pfeiffer, and Kathy Bates, it is slow and plodding with only occasional moments of life, suffering from a glacial pace. I yawned all the way through it. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Chicago
Chicago is exuberant, exciting, and very musical! Sometimes there is only 15 seconds of dialogue between songs! It is a bit disconcerting at first seeing Richard Gere singing and dancing. But after you get over the shock, you'll find yourself really enjoying this magnificent movie spectacle.5 Stars Out of 5
Chicken Little
Disney is the studio that animation built. Chicken Little is their first entry into entirely computer animated movies. I'm sorry to say that Disney still has a ways to go to catch up to Pixar. It looks good, is fast and furious, has lots of inside jokes and pop culture gags, but not much story and contains nothing to draw us emotionally into the film. It's just one gag after another. Kids under 10 will probably like it, but it seems contrived and calculated. It tries too hard to razzle-dazzle us…Pixar's films seem effortless. It is funny, but it's missing a heart. 3 Stars Out of 5
Children of Men
Children of Men has a great premise, but fails on execution. It's really rather boring. If you're a Fan of Julianne Moore, you'll be disappointed in her performance in Children of Men. She's in the movie maybe ten minutes! Michael Cain is entertaining, but underused. Wait till it comes out on DVD. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Chloe - Sony - Rated R
Chloe is steamy. It starts with graphic sex talk and ends with…um…more than that. But this is more than a typical late night Skinamax movie. It is actually intriguing. Julianne Moore is an amazing actress. She's positively radiant and is the strength of the movie. The end is a bit of a let down, but the terrific performances by Moore and Amanda Seyfried make this movie one to see. Or, just wait and buy it, because there is one scene especially that will need to be viewed over and over…(and over…) 4 Stars Out of 5
Choke - Fox Searchlight - Rated R
In Choke, Sam Rockwell is quirky and very funny, while Angelica Huston is the best she's been in years. It's certainly not for everyone, but Choke is odd, subversive and hilarious. 4 Stars Out of 5
Christmas With the Kranks
Christmas with the Kranks won't be remembered with the Christmas classics. But it is somewhat amusing at times, and gets too sappy at the end. Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis put in reasonably good performances, but can't rescue this rather bland film.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - Disney - Rated PG
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is a very good follow up to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It boasts improved special effects, is packed with action and has a story that enthralls and entertains. While it is much darker than the previous film, and the cuddle factor isn't as high, there are still plenty of interesting creatures, most notably the outstanding Peter Dinklage as Trumpkin. There is lots of violence (but very little blood) so it might not be appropriate for the very young ones. It has a message, but is mostly great entertainment. It's a prince of a sequel! 4 Stars Out of 5
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe is a success on nearly every level. It is faithful to the book, and features an engaging group playing the four children. It is beautifully shot, and populated with all sorts of interesting characters. I especially loved the eye popping computer animation for Aslan the lion. He looks real. Some of the other animation suffers somewhat, looking like some corners were cut, but that is a minor point. This is a powerful and touching family movie that is never preachy, and always entertaining. It is a great movie! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Chronicles of Riddick
The Chronicles of Riddick wants to be an epic like The Lord of the Rings and ends up being more like Dick and Jane fight the Aliens. It has an irritating bombastic score, silly costumes that look like a horrible art deco accident in a plastics factory, and a bad overblown plot, not to mention the acting "talents" of Vin Diesel. Pray that the producers call it quits with this film instead of making the other two planned sequels.
1 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cinderella Man
Whoever said "They don't make movies like that anymore," hasn't seen Cinderella Man. It proves they still do! This is the best movie so far this year, and maybe the best boxing movie ever. The cast is dynamite. Russell Crowe once again is nothing short of phenomenal. Renee Zellweger adds so much spark to the film, that it wouldn't be half the movie with another actress in the role. And Paul Giamatti shows why he is the best character actor working in movies today. Cinderella man is exciting and emotional. The boxing sequences are terrific. My palms were sweaty and I knew how the fight ended! Don't miss this great, great movie.
5 Stars Out of 5
A Cinderella Story
A Cinderella Story has nothing original. It's another puffy piece of predictable, very forgettable teen girl fluff. It's time for Hillary Duff to show us if she can do anything that even resembles serious acting. My daughter liked it better than I did, but I thought it was almost as funny as a bad sitcom that is cancelled after two shows.
2 Stars Out of 5
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - Universal - Rated PG-13
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is a vampire tale that has no teeth. It is macabre is a very mild way. It's not quite as scary as finding mold on a piece of month old bread, or scratching a chalkboard with your fingernails. Speaking of fingernails, these vampires don't bite. They draw blood with their fingernails. OOH! The horror! I'm gonna stab you with my scary, scary fingernails! Oh, wait, I can't, I've got to get a manicure. 2 stars Out of 5
City By the Sea
If you want a feel-good movie that will get you out of the dulldrums go see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." If you want a depressing dirge of a movie based on a true story that will make you feel all is lost go see "City By The Sea." Robert DeNiro plays another cop (enough said), Frances McDormand is wasted here in a role with no meat, and the lone standout is incredibly talented James Franco who is terrific as the estranged drug-addict son. This is a bleak, heavy, gritty, dark, downer of a movie that only partially redeems itself in the last five minutes.3 Stars Out of 5 (the stars are all for James Franco's performance)
City Island - Anchor Bay - Rated PG-13City Island has a lot going on under the surface. Nobody is what they seem at the beginning. And this soon leads to hilarious results. This wonderfully crafted, extremely entertaining movie contains rich characters great acting and is absolutely delightful in every way! Add in a fantastic climax and it all adds up to one of the best times I've had at the movies in years…5 Stars Out of 5
City of Ember - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG
City of Ember looks impressive. But what happens in it is kind of bland. The movie is mediocre, although Bill Murray is kind of fun as mayor of the city. There are a few moments of life, but it didn't light my fire, City of Ember fizzles. 2 ½ stars Out of 5
Clash of the Titans - Warner Brothers - Rated PG-13
The first thing to know about Clash of the Titans is you can skip the 3-D. Aside from the opening minute and a half or so, it adds nothing to the movie. The 3-D was an afterthought, and it shows, only accomplishing the removal of extra cash from your wallet. Now, the movie itself is a remake of the 1980's Ray Harryhausen stop motion classic. It has a nod to the original, but this one has all CGI effects. Some are cheesy, but most are serviceable. The film is washed out and cheap looking. It's loud, but it drags from time to time. Even all that noise can't keep it from getting sleepy. It's not terrible, but far from a titan. 3 Stars Out of 5
Clerks II
Clerks II is a worthy sequel that stays true to the original film and its characters, with the witty dialogue we expect from a Kevin Smith film. It's riotous, crude, filthy and very, very funny. A scene with a donkey described as "Interspecies erotica" is gleeful in its obscenity, and I have no idea why this film got by with an R rating! Maybe the film board was laughing as hard as I was, and forgot to write NC-17 on the card! If you look deep, you will find that this film also has a heart and as much love for the characters as fans of the original have…4 Stars Out of 5
The Clearing
The Clearing is a thriller that's not so thrilling. As a matter of fact, it's about as exciting as watching a weed grow. It doesn't happen all that fast, and what you get when it's done isn't all that great. This film snoozes it's way through 90 of the longest minutes you'll ever spend in a theater. Even with great actors Robert Redford, Willem Dafoe and Helen Miren, you can safely clear The Clearing from your list of films to see…
2 Stars Out of 5
Click
Click is kind of like Adam Sandler's version of It's a Wonderful Life, but his version is sappier and a bit heavy handed. And of course there are crass jokes about bodily functions. Click not only wants you to see how to appreciate your life, but also preaches against junk food, workaholics, and middle aged men wearing speedos. I wanted to laugh, and I did, but not as much as I thought I would. It gets too preachy and the comedy gets lost in the message. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Closer
Closer is not a likable movie. Sure, you have four high caliber stars, Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen, But every character has something about them that you really dislike. If you believe in love and the general goodness of people, avoid Closer at all costs…it manages to show that people and their relationships are scum no matter how good-looking they are.
2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - Sony - Rated PG
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs contains some fun sight gags and is somewhat quirky, but runs out of steam and runs out of story towards the end. It has some great visuals that aren't helped all that much by 3-D. Unlike many stars, Anna Faris and Mr. T. prove to be pretty good at voicing animation. This has lots for kids to enjoy, and a few tasty morsels for the adults too. 3 Stars Out of 5
Cloverfield - Paramount - Rated PG-13
At amusement parks there is a warning before you get on a ride to skip it if you get motion sickness. Cloverfield needs such a warning. After sitting though 84 minutes of the worst camera work ever, both my wife and I felt queasy and had headaches. If you can watch the screen long enough to see them through all of the jumpy camera work, it's got great special effects and some good scares. But it is a bleak film with no music and has more than one scene that reminds us of 9/11. If you see it, bring the Dramamine. 3 Stars Out of 5
Coach Carter
When I was a kid I liked to build models. Cement piece "A" onto piece "B." It was simple but eventually you got what you wanted. That's what Coach Carter feels like. The director bought the model kit for "Sport Movie" and glued this piece to that one. But, how many times are they going to make this movie? It's all been done before. It's only Samuel L. Jackson's inspired performance that raises this film from "loser" to "player."
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Coco Before Chanel - Sony Pictures Classics - Rated PG-13
Coco Before Chanel is nice to look at but Audrey Tautou is dour, and the film is dry. Shouldn't we have seen her rise to the top of the fashion world instead of her boring life beforehand? It's like Disney before movies, or LeBron before Basketball…do we care? I didn't. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Codename: The Cleaner
Cedric is not so entertaining in Codename: The Cleaner. It's another in a long string of movies he's made that haven't been entertaining at all. There is a brief glimmer in one scene involving some Dutch dancers, but overall this unfunny film is pretty stupid. If he doesn't start making better films, Cedric the Entertainer is going to have to change his name.
2 Stars Out of 5
Cold Creek Manor
Cold Creek Manor left me cold! It plods along and nothing happens for the first hour…then what does happen is predictable with no surprises. At the end you'll swear you've seen this all before…You have…in a dozen movies.2 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cold Souls - Samuel Goldwyn Films - Rated PG-13
Cold Souls is amusing at times, very odd, but never boring. Paul Giamatti plays himself in a world where souls are removable and interchangeable. He is outstanding, but the movie left my soul a little cold. 3 stars Out of 5
The Collector - Freestyle Releasing - Rated R
In The Collector, a guy's baby mama owes loan sharks, so he breaks into his vacationing boss's house to steal some jewelry. Problem is, that house is already occupied by a guy in a mask who has filled the house with all kinds of torturous devices designed to cut, gash, stab and puncture in brutal and hideous ways. Think Saw. No shocker there, since the writer-director also wrote three Saw sequels. This isn't quite torture porn, teasing at it instead. He almost cuts off a woman's tongue with garden shears. It is hard-core horror to be sure. You see the aftermath of the more graphic kills. I'm not saying this isn't graphic, oh, it is - and then some. There is no real plot or story, just a lot of mayhem - involving bear traps, razor blades, fish hooks and an acid goulash. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
College - MGM - Rated R
If your idea of fun is watching someone drink body shots through someone's hairy plumber's crack, College is for you. It just made me gag. 2 Stars Out of 5
College Road Trip - Disney - Rated G
I try to find at least one thing I like about every movie I see. For the life of me, I couldn't find anything to like in College Road Trip. This is so heinous I could scarcely watch. It's filled with loud, obnoxious slapstick, never ending mugging for the camera, and fake, syrupy, sappy moments. Martin Lawrence used to be my least favorite movie star. But now it's the even more hideous Raven Symone who out-mugs her ever-mugging co-star. She doesn't even know the meaning of the word subtle. But she's only the worst part of this all around vomit-inducing monstrosity that had me begging the question, "And this is funny why?" along with "Could this be any more irritating?" and "Please, won't someone just put me out of my mysery?" I loathed every second. ½ Star Out of 5
The Comebacks - 20th Century Fox - Rated PG-13
The Comebacks is like Epic Movie, Scary Movie, or Not Another Teen Movie except this one is about sports movies. No real plot here, it's just vignettes strung together with lots of phallic jokes thrown in for good measure. Problem is, 99% of the jokes stink like the locker room after quadruple overtime with washing day two weeks overdue. 1 Star Out of 5
The Condemned
The Condemned has hideously bad acting and camera work so jerky you can't see what's going on. It is long on attitude and posturing and short on everything that makes a good movie. It's a cross between Survivor on steroids, The Running Man and a snuff film. All it really is, is a self righteous manure assault. Give the condemned a lethal injection. 1 Star Out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
In Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, George Clooney proves he can direct as well as act, and Sam Rockwell proves he is an A-plus actor in this quirky but unpretentious movie about Gong Show host and game show producer Chuck Barris. And besides, seeing Julia Roberts lick Sam Rockwell's face is worth the price of admission all by itself! It's not an Oscar winner, but is worth 4 Stars Out of 5.
Confessions of a Shopaholic - Touchstone - Rated PG
The chick-flick romantic comedy Confessions of a Shopaholic stars the adorable and very appealing Isla Fisher. It has moments that are contrived and excruciating, but Fisher rescues the film from its ill-timed self, with cuteness, physical comedy and some real warmth. There's only a little buyers remorse with Shopaholic. 3 Stars Out of 5
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Lindsay Lohan is going to be a big star. She has a great screen presence. She showed us her acting chops in Freaky Friday. In Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, there really isn't much acting. It's more about fashion and music. The movie has very little substance and is about as fluffy as the hairdos…My preteen daughter and her friend loved it. 3 Stars Out of 5
Confidence
It isn't often that a film works as superbly as "Confidence" does. This is inventive, and smart, with a great script, and terrific performances from every single member of the cast. Edward Burns carries the film but Dustin Hoffman's disturbed mob boss is one of his most entertaining characters ever. Don't miss this absolutely outstanding, fun movie that is easily one of the years very best! You'll probably want to watch it again just to make sure what happened, really happened! 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Connie and Carla
Connie and Carla has a fun concept, women posing as men posing as female inpersonators. The stars Nia Vardalos and Toni Collette are appealing but the film ultimately fails. It becomes less and less believable until it crashes into an excruciating ending. And the films numerous musical numbers soon begin to feel like padding for a thin plot. 2 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener has some great performances from Ralph Fiennes and the luminescent Rachel Weisz. The movie has a definite slanted opinion on the war in Iraq and on those evil drug companies, but the performances make it watchable. But the movie itself, made me seasick! The constant movement of the camera had my stomach so tied up in knots, that after the movie was over, I had to down several Rolaids. If you are prone to motion sickness, skip this one or take some Dramamine before going. Both of the products I mentioned, by the way, are made by drug companies. And if that's not irony, I don't know what is! 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Constantine
Terrific special effects with slightly flawed execution highlight Constantine. It's a cross between Dirty Harry and The Exorcist. The visuals are stunning and the plot interesting. Keanu Reeves does a pretty good job, although his recitations of Bible verses were comic. But I liked the film, and am looking forward to the sequels.
3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Cookout
The Cookout is another lame attempt at edgy urban comedy. It features really bad acting, especially from Danny Glover and Farrah Fawcett. Queen Latifah produced it, and appears in it as an overzealous security guard. She is the best part of it. Here and there the film throws a few sparks, but this cookout runs out of gas early.
2 Stars Out of 5
The Cooler
Great direction and great performances make The Cooler one not to miss. I loved the Vegas style jazz soundtrack, but most of all, I loved the story.
4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Cop Out - Warner Brothers - Rated R)
Cop Out is an homage to 1980's buddy cop movies. Director Kevin Smith works in plenty of nods including a synth music score that Eddie Murphy would be proud of. Bruce Willis does his bald tough guy and Tracey Morgan just seems to drool for the first third of the movie. He lets loose a couple of quarts of saliva easily. I just about got sick. But then someone must have given him a cookie or something because he turned off the spit faucet and the movie actually got rather funny. But it is Seann William Scott who steals the movie. He is hilarious in every scene he's in. This comedy is no cop out…3 ½ Stars Out of 5
Coraline - Focus Features - Rated PG
Coraline's strength lies in its magical, stop motion animation and unusual style. It could be scary for little kids and even sensitive adults. Not in a gotcha type of way, but in a deep psychological sense. The imagery could spur nightmares. The 3-D isn't gimicky, but immerses you into the interesting, imaginative story. Older kids and adults will love it. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Core
You must check your brain at the door, and then some, if you want to be able to sit through this epic piece of scientific nonsense. Hillary Swank's shuttle astronaut character just knows everything and is the most irritating character in a movie in a long time. At one point she walks into a lab and fiddles with a project she's never seen before, and improves it. I burst out laughing at this movie's stupidity over and over again. Oh, and the dialogue and acting are pretty lame too. 2 Stars Out of 5
Corpse Bride
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride is imaginative and dark, with twisted humor and an unexpected sweetness to it. It's not scary except perhaps for the smallest kids who might be afraid of skeletons. It has a kid-friendly thin plot and a very short run time, but it succeeded in capturing my attention with a great look, which makes the land of the living drab and colorless, while the land of the dead is bright and cheery. There are quite a few in-jokes for the parents, and its songs are lively and entertaining. It is great fun. 3 ½ Stars Out of 5
The Country Bears
If you imagine the Blues Brothers with fur, you've just about got this movie. With an impressive array of cameos from Elton John to Queen Latifah, this movie starts with amazing animatronic bear suits and ends with an exuberant message about family. And it is good for the whole family. And, don't leave until the very end...3 Stars Out of 5
Couple's Retreat - Universal - Rated PG-13
Couple's Retreat seems to be an excuse for stars Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn (who also wrote it) to get a free trip to Bora Bora and smooch with the hottie actresses who play their mates. Problem is, they're the only ones having any fun. (And why is it that the paunchy, pale guys in movies always get hottie women?)
This movie is angry, with unlikeable characters, it is overlong and dreary. If your significant other wants to go to this movie, if you value your relationship, avoid it at all costs. The title tells you what to do. Retreat! 2 Stars Out of 5
The Covenant
The Covenant is yet another bad film from the ultimate director of bad films. Renny Harlin! This bland teen occult rumble movie sort of ambles along, completely devoid of jumps, scares, or anything to otherwise get your pulse racing. Other than an occasional laugh at the cartoonish cheep looking special effects, this one's a snoooozer! 2 stars Out of 5
Cradle 2 The Grave
Films of this quality are usually reserved for the Straight-To-Video section at the rental place. This has one of the most convoluted, laughably stupid, preposterous plots I have ever seen! The highlight of this film…is Tom Arnold. I probably don't need to go into too much further detail, but Jet Li and DMX should take the money that they earned from this and take acting lessons…In a word, Cradle 2 The Grave is stupid.1 Star Out of 5
Crank: High Voltage - Lionsgate - Rated R
If you dream of a movie that combines video games, eight cases of red bull on speed, and porn, get ready for nirvana. Crank: High Voltage rocks the limits of believability, and taste. This amped-up, hyper active, super violent, cinematic comic book-video game is absolute trash and revels in every second of it. It's hardcore, stretching the limits of its R rating, featuring everything from anal impalement, to extreme violence against breast implants, to porn stars, to sex on a racetrack with the stands full of onlookers. Some might call this high voltage, but I call it a short circuit.
2 Stars Out of 5
Crash
Crash is a film that revels in its contradictions. It will have you marveling at its complexity, and scratching your head at its negativity. It is superbly crafted and finely acted. But every character seems to have racist tendencies. It's not an uplifting film, but it is riveting. It holds your attention for every second, but you don't feel good doing it. It is a very good film, that you won't want to miss, but it may leave you feeling less than enthusiastic about the human race.
4 Stars Out of 5
The Crazies - Overture Films - Rated R
The Crazies is a vastly superior remake of the cheesy 1973 George Romero film. Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell are terrific in this zombie flick that's not really a zombie flick. It is very entertaining with lots of jumps, plenty of action, and generous doses of humor. It isn't crazy, it's just crazy good…4 Stars Out of 5
Crazy Heart - Fox Searchlight - Rated R
Jeff Bridges gives the best performance of his career in Crazy Heart. His portrayal of washed up country star Bad Blake is nothing short of a revelation. Add wonderful performances from Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Colin Farrell along with great music performed by the stars, a terrific story and you have a winner. Jeff Bridges…He Bad, and he's very, very good. 4 ½ Stars Out of 5
Criminal
Criminal is entertaining but pretty much follows the con man caper formula. I figured out who was getting conned right from the start. Likable performances from John C. Reilly and Diego Luna along with a great ensemble cast pepper the blandish script.
3 Stars Out of 5
The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course
I like Steve Irwin. His stuff on Animal Planet is great. He does more of the same in this movie. Then, there is a ridiculous, stupid plot about a satellite that crashes to earth. Inept CIA agents chase after it, but a croc has eaten it. It's REALLY bad. When the Irwin's are on, this is fun, but when they're not (which is over half the movie) this really stinks. If you want to see Steve Irwin, catch him on Animal Planet, don't waste your time with this film.2 Stars Out of 5
Cry Wolf is a typical cliché ridden teen slasher film that tries to be cute, but ends up being predictable trash. Jon Bon Jovi had been building up a respectable film career until now. I have no clue about what could have possessed him to take this picture. After this he'll be lucky to get a walk on in a Travel Channel show. 2 Stars Out of 5
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Paramount - Rated PG-13
Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett are terrific in this touching, emotional yarn about a man who ages backwards. The special effects are nothing short of jaw dropping! Let this movie work its magic on you! 4 1/2 Stars Out of 5
Curious George
Curious George is a movie that the little kids will love. It has a very tame and sweet story with lively animation. The traditional 2-D animation is bright and cheerful. There's not much for adults here, but the under 7 crowd should love it. 3 Stars Out of 5
Cursed
Cursed is an apt description of this movie. Director Wes Craven phoned it in. The computer generated special effects are awful, and Christina Ricci looks as if she is in a daze for most of the film. I felt cursed after seeing it.
1 Star Out of 5
Cyrus - Fox Searchlight - Rated R
Cyrus is a funny, quirky film that seems adlibbed while the camera work gives it an even more spontaneous feel. Marisa Tomei is wonderful, John C. Reilly is terrific, and Jonah Hill shows a new side, playing a creepy, passive aggressive type. This isn't a laugh riot but it is very amusing. The kid is alright. 3 Stars Out of 5
